Lost and Found
by Fairylust
Summary: Near is hurt. He wakes up in the hands of BB. Merro and Matty abandoned him. After having Beyond as company, as his father he's left alone when B attempts suicide. Can he be helped? Mello and Matt wonder about that after a visit with L that reunites them.
1. Chapter 1

Near opened his large gray eyes wearily.

_Where am I?_ He wondered.

Wouldn't any small boy wonder that? Wouldn't they wonder about why they weren't with their clothes were blood spattered and covered by dirt. Why their friends weren't with them or why weren't they in their bedroom? Why their head hurt so badly and was bandaged? Why they were in a dark room that was dimly lit in the center where they stood? Why two crimson eyes stared out at them from the darkness?

Yes.

Yes, that may be what any child at the age of eight might wonder. That very well may be exactly what they'd wonder. And Near barely had time to wonder about much more when a familiar looking teen stepped into the dim light.

His hair was messy, raven black… and his skin was so pale that it appeared as though it'd never seen the sun. Not as pale as Near's skin, but close enough. His eyes were large and red and his figure was rather lean, but fairly muscular all the same. He wore dark jeans with a black long-sleeved shirt and beaten up, old tennis shoes, which appeared ready to fall apart before the day was out, but were holding together, surprisingly well.

"Don't move." He said with a sadistic smile on his face. "Are you realizing who I am, Nate? Hmm? Do you recall anything? Do you recall anything _you_ done?"

Near looked at him with wide gray eyes that pleaded innocence.

No one had called him that name since his parents died. He'd been referred to as Near, _not _Nate. He knew this teen, yes, he realized who it was after a single moment of thought. His name was Beyond Birthday otherwise known as BB or B or Rue as some of the other teens had called him. Beyond Birthday had played with him on a few occasions when Near had nobody else to play with. Normally, B played with Near and his puzzles or with darts and a dart board. B always spoke softly to him and always asked about the games they played. He'd always smiled a friendly smile that was somehow unnerving to many people. Near scanned the room, but saw nothing around him was familiar other than B.

"Where am I?" He asked as he toyed with a lock of hair. "Where is Merro and Matty?" he asked remembering his redheaded and blonde friends.

"Don't trouble yourself over those two." B said softly. He moved slowly towards Near who stood frozen on the spot. "You'll never see Mihael or Mail ever again."

"W-why?"

"They didn't love you." B said watching as Near kept his large gray eyes pinned on him. "They hate you. They want you to die. They both abandoned you, bunny. Just like L."

"L? Bunny?"

Near didn't like being called a bunny. He wrinkled his nose in distaste. As far as the name L had gone… Near had never heard that name before, well, not from Beyond, but Merro had talked about some guy named L on a few occasions, but Matty had always changed the subject before Near could ask Merro who L was but once the conversation changed Near hadn't dared bring it back up. Oh, how he wished he knew more about L, now. He knew that B had once mentioned him, but the hate and malice in his eyes and tone had seemed so different from the adoration and love Merro had shown. Which was true? Which was lies? Who was L?

Why did Beyond speak about him so hatefully?

So many questions!

Near gave the elder a questioning look; Beyond seemed to soften some as he looked at the younger boy. "Yes, you haven't met him, yet. But he's a terrible, terrible person, Nate. Trust me. L is a monster."

Near looked at the floor feeling confused. "But Merro said that L was-"

"He lied!" Beyond snapped. "That blonde demon lied to you! And so did that redheaded heathen friend of his. They filled your head with lies. They were going to make you exactly like A! They were gonna make you kill yourself! You're nothing to them! They don't even notice your missing! I saved you, you should be grateful!"

Near looked up to B with tear filled eyes. "Re-really?"

B nodded solemnly.

"Remember what happened?" he asked softly. "Remember what they did?"

"N-no." Near sobbed. His head started to throb in pain. A pale hand rested on where the pain came from the most. "I-I don't remem-remember any-anything past th-is-this morning when I woke-woke up." The small boy sobbed fearfully.

"May I fill in your blank spaces?"

"Plea-please."

B stroked Near's white curls affectionately. "You were playing outside for once. Mello and Matt tricked you into playing outside with them. You went into the woods and I watched when they started to tease you. I watched as they shoved you to the ground. You hit your head into a rock and blood spattered the ground and your clothes. They both laughed, and then ran off. I helped you, Nate. They abandoned you. Do you believe that? They abandoned you to die, Nate. You'd be dead if not for _me_."

Near shook his head knowing that that story wasn't what happened, he knew it wasn't. Something didn't sound right and he had the feeling B was telling him a total lie. He gave B a look that pleaded to be told the truth. He knew Merro and Matty wouldn't hurt him like that.

They wouldn't abandon him to die as Beyond had said.

They were his _friends_.

Beyond knew that Near's 'Matty' as he called him liked the young boy. Not like Near's precious 'Merro' did, but he knew that Mello liked Near a lot and wouldn't let anything bad happen to him so he could only wish that Near had bought his lie, even though he seriously doubted it. Matt and Near had sort of a brotherly relationship, that much Beyond had observed for himself. And Mello loved him, whether Near was oblivious to the blonde's affections B didn't know. B had watched when Mello had kissed Near and mumbled something to him before embracing the pale boy in a hug.

The three of them were friends. But Beyond was intent on keeping his story the same, he wasn't going to let Near know the truth. "I want to see them!" Near finally shouted losing his cool. "I want to see them right now, B! If it's not true they'll say so and I'll trust them, but if they're as cruel as you say then they'll admit what they did! I want to see them!"

"No!" Beyond Birthday snapped. "You can't see them! You can never see them ever again. Never, ever, ever, never, ever again Nate."

"Why not?" Near demanded.

"Because I killed them." Beyond hissed.

The younger boy suddenly gave Beyond a look of horror. His eyes widened and beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He had begun to tremble as he stared at B almost in disbelief. And then Near squeaked in shock, "Y-you what?"

"I murdered them, Near, I murdered them to save you." B said coldly.

Near looked at the teen in shock. "No…no…you…couldn't have…you wouldn't…how could you have…." He placed a hand to his mouth as a sob escaped his throat. "Merro…Matty…Merro…Matty…Merro…Matty…Merro…Matty…" he sobbed trembling even more violently from shock.

Beyond watched as the small boy burst into tears, which ran down his cheeks in thin streams and dripped onto the floor mutely. He felt no compassion nor did he feel guilt for whatever pain Near was feeling, he simply felt…empty….

"If you need proof, Near, I can show you their corpses." Beyond said coldly glaring at the small child. Near looked at him with teary eyes, sobs escaping him at a fast rate. "Why did you…they didn't deserve to…to…how could…WHY?"

"Because, I love you." B said softly with a smile.

Near gasped softly, eyes widening (if that was even possible!) he turned on his heel ready to run, but B leapt on top of him and pinned him to the ground. He screamed partially from fear and partially from surprise. He squirmed fruitlessly as Beyond held him down. Near let more tears run down his cheeks as B held him down firmly. After a short while he stopped squirming and the tears also stopped shortly after.

"Feel better?"

"N-no."

"Okay, that's okay, because I'm gonna break you anyways."

"Why?"

"Because I already told you, I love you, and if I break you, then nobody other than me will want you, so you'll be mine forevers and evers."

Near shivered as a tender kiss was placed on his forehead. Another kiss was placed on his neck where B began to nip and suck. Soon, love bites were showing all over Near's torso and neck. Near trembled, as his pajama shirt was unbuttoned, then tossed to the side. He was terrified. _What is B doing to me? _He wondered as B ran his tongue over one of Near's hardened nipples causing him to moan weakly. _Why do I f-feel s-s-so strange?_ Near asked himself as he stared up at Beyond Birthday who was enjoying every second of what he was doing. He felt his heart racing, from both fear and pleasure.

He realized with disgust that he liked what B was doing to him. He liked the nips and kisses, but when the rest of his clothes were removed he became frightened. B's eyes were thickly clouded by lust, whilst Near's gray eyes simply pleaded for mercy. Beyond ran a hand down the boy's naked body, before pulling his own clothes off. Soon screams ripped through the room followed by moans and cries of ecstasy (To simplify things for you people who don't get: B raped Near). After being redressed a door slammed heavily, and Near was left in the dimly lit center of the room. Sobbing he curled up into a ball ashamed, in pain and most of all terrified.

He was left that way for at least a week.

Then B came in and talked with him saying stuff. Many different things like how much he loved Near and how he'd break him. How he'd torture him and rape him if it meant helping him. Beyond told Near about how evil L was and what he did to A, the former number one in Whammy's House and Beyond's former lover. Some of the things he told the smaller, younger boy frightened poor Near, because he didn't understand them. Like when B said that he'd squeeze Near's emotions so hard that they'd burst out of him.

Surely he wasn't literal but that still made no sense to Near. But then things got bad and he did understand what B had meant, probably because it wasn't just his body breaking, nor was it just his heart, but it was also his sanity that was slowly snapping.

Beyond sometimes played with him.

But the games were always violent and ended with Near having a bruised arm or leg or his head having to be bandaged again because Beyond made it bleed again. Sometimes Beyond would laugh at him, tease him, and mock him for believing that his Merro and Matty hadn't abandoned him. Beyond always told Near about Merro and Matty's 'true nature' as B called it, and Near was forced to listen. He didn't want to believe what B told him…

…but what choice did he have…?

He was locked in the room twenty-four hours a day, barely ever fed and when he was allowed food it came in the form of sloppy, greasy scrapes that were probably dug out from a garbage can or dumpster. Normally, it was dry bread crusts, potato peels, rotten maybe moldy bits and pieces of fruit or vegetable peels and rarely he would receive a bone with some meat still clinging to it. At times his mind told him to simply starve, but his primitive survival instincts were much stronger than any willpower he could show.

So he ate.

He never complained to Beyond because he was too hungry, sometimes just frightened the red-eyed teen would get angry, and at other times he was just thankful he _got _fed at all, but then again even if he _weren't_ hungry Near wouldn't have complained because it was just his nature to be quiet. When he'd eat whatever he was brought Beyond would laugh or maybe leave him alone or continue to watch him with a scowl.

Sometimes, when he got angry, Beyond would beat the boy mercilessly. Near always begged him to stop, but he never did. If anything Beyond beat him even worse when he was begged to stop. And in some sick way Near believed he deserved to get beaten. Some dark, lonely, crumbling, hopeless corner of his subconscious told him that he done something to displease the older male. Something _had _to be wrong with him, that was why Beyond got angry with him sometimes for no apparent reason.

Right?

It made sense didn't it?

Near had to have done something to anger him, but the child soon learned that Beyond Birthday needed no motivation to become furious. Sometimes he just became furious for no reason at all. While in his enraged state of mind he used the younger boy as his punching bag to let off steam and 'for Near's own good' as he would sometimes say. Near always doubted that it was _good_ for a young adult to pound a kid like ten to eight years younger than them, but he never said that aloud, he was too smart to tell Beyond such a thing. B would, at times rape him, as he did to the boy his first day in the cell.

Whenever he grew bored and Near learned to not struggle after a few days of it he was raped over and over, but eventually grew used to it and learned a few basic rules when having sex with BB. If he struggled it was more painful, if he screamed it went unnoticed, if he were to ignore the pain he'd make Beyond furious and if he were to attempt redressing himself after the sex was over he was certain to get a beating.

In some way, that Near depicted as sick and abnormal, he enjoyed it. He liked the feeling of Beyond inside him and knew it wasn't rape if he enjoyed it…or was it…? Near grew disgusted with himself each time he moaned for B and each time he knew, deep down, that no matter how much he denied it he loved it. He loved B, he _wasn't_ ashamed of that, but he _was_ ashamed of how he'd disgrace himself for the teen or how he'd plead, beg, moan and call the teen's name.

On certain occasions the boy always hoped someone would burst in and save him like in one of the hero-type stories his friend, Matty had told him.

Matty….

"Oh, Matty, Matty…why did you have to die?" Near muttered to himself sadly.

Matty had been his friend…no… Beyond said differently, Beyond said that he was Near's enemy. But Matty had been so kind to Near after all, of course he was his friend, but he had been told that it was false kindness Matty had shown him. But deep within Near's heart and soul he felt that Matty was his friend, fake or not.

Matty had been older than Near by a year and he was great at playing video games, he didn't mind sharing them with Near, and had always beat Near at his games. The albino could remember the smile that would show up on his face when he beat Near. _That was a great try Near! _The redhead's cheerful voice said in the back of Near's mind one day.

It was like a knife stabbing into the boy's already wounded heart.

"Yeah, Matty, I know that was…good try…can we play again?" Near said to that voice, hoping to get a reply. "Please, Matty, can we…can we play again…?"

There was no reply and Near began to sob. Calling for Matty he didn't even notice the camera, which watched him from a corner of the room. Beyond watched from the surveillance room and smiled. _He's finally starting to crack. _B thought smirking with satisfaction. It'd been at least three weeks since he'd brought Near there and the boy had seemed resilient, but seeing him begin to crack made Beyond very pleased.

Meanwhile, Near thought of the stories Matty had told him.

A helpless person in a precarious situation getting hurt or threatened and then somebody bursts in just when things are getting bad, but nobody ever did that for him. He knew that nobody would. But Near was a child who indulged himself in such fantasies, just to keep his sanity and hold onto some shred of hope that his Merro and Matty hadn't completely abandoned him. He knew how fragile life was and that without hope or any sanity there wasn't any rational life within a person at all, just animalistic instincts.

And Near could tell by looking at B when he was angry that he was a creature who had gave up all of his sanity long ago. _Maybe B lost his sanity shortly after A died._ Near thought one afternoon after a beating. After thinking that single thought he wondered that if it truly was L's fault for A's death. After some critical thinking Near decided without a shred of doubt that it was. If L was as powerful as B had told him then why didn't he try to help A? Why didn't he notice when A became depressed? Why didn't L stop him from slitting his wrists? Why didn't he do something, anything? Did he care about A at all or was A just a test subject to L? He could have at the very least gotten help for A when he was in his depressed state of mind; signs _had _to have shown.

_This is your entire fault L._ Near thought darkly. _It's your fault that I bleed, and your fault that I hurt. When I am beaten it's your fault. It's your fault that Merro and Matty are dead probably buried in a shallow grave someplace in the woods. It's your fault that Beyond has been through so much pain and madness and your fault he's insane. It's your fault for every day I starve and thirst…your fault when I can't sleep…your fault when I get beaten awake late at night. It's your fault that my entire existence is a living hell now._

Disgust.

Contempt.

Antagonism.

Hatred.

Pure abhorrence.

It all flowed through Near's veins as he thought how much of L's fault everything was and the more he thought about it the more he desired to kill him. He just hated L so much for what was happening. And because of what? Because he let a little, depressed emo child slit his wrists in front of Beyond! Everything that was being done to him was an effect caused because L let A die!

Then one morning…or night… Near didn't know he'd lost track of the time, but one day he awoke and saw his cell door standing wide open. Light flooded into the cell's opening. He stood shakily. What now? He took a step back, then one tiny step forward. After a second's hesitation Near ran for the door, but was grabbed by Beyond once outside.

"Yay!" B cried out sounding ecstatic. He held the small boy close to his chest, smiling gleefully. "Near wants to come out and play with the big boys! Yay!"

"Wh-what?" Near squeaked quietly.

"Don't worry, love, you'll be safe with me won't you?"

"I don't trust Beyond to protect me." Near muttered.

"And you shouldn't." B said forebodingly. "You're very smart… like A was… yet you look so much like _him_…."

"I hate _him_." Near said wrapping his arms around B's neck. "I hate _him_ more than anyone else in the entire world." He said with tears brimming his eyes.

"You do? Well, that's just great!" B asked sounding surprised, yet cheerful at the same time. "I really love you my little bunny."

"…."

Near let B cuddle him and call him his 'little bunny' and his 'snowflake' and 'his dove' and 'his love' and 'his perfect pearl' and 'darling' and 'sugar' etc. He didn't really mind letting B call him pet names. It was when B started to touch him that he tensed up and whimpered for him to stop. B didn't stop touching, and told him to relax that he wasn't gonna hurt him, but Near didn't believe it. Especially when B's hand kept wandering down to his crotch and thighs and hips. He mewled slightly and B cuddled him.

Why should he believe that B wouldn't attempt to hurt him?

Near knew he was cracked. He had to be cracked if he was letting B say those things to him. If he let Beyond touch him so affectionately he _had_ to have been cracked. And soon… Near knew he would be… shattered. He'd probably be as crazy as B. That thought frightened him more than Beyond ever could've.

Because he didn't know who or what he'd become after he finally shattered.

* * *

**Sorry if this wuzz like sad or brutal or whatever and just saying that I'll update as soon as possible. Promise. And I hope that nothing else like comes up, but I'm feeling a bit sick at the moment so that's why I've been slow on updating. **

**So sorry.**

**I know that you (the readers) don't deserve to have to wait, but I'm bedridden, ya know temporarily. So I'll be slow on updating. Sorry.**

**Pwease, R&R.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Pwease, R&R and Beyond and Near won't kill you in your sleep and you may have a peice of candy. ****Seriously, though, read, write, no flaming and you better not forget about Near and Beyond Birthday. **

**;^D Kay? **

**~Luv Fairylust~**

* * *

Near leaned his head back, eyes closed tightly, moaning. B ran his hands along Near's pale legs, occasionally giving Near's erect cock a gentle squeeze every few minutes or so. His lips were latched onto the younger male's neck. B nipped and suckled at Near's hardened nipples forcing noises from the pale boy's lips. Near tried to contain his moans and restrain as many whimpers and mewls as he could. It had been nine years since Beyond had first had sex with Near. The younger boy was now, seventeen, and almost as unstable as B who was a young man at least twenty-three to twenty-four years of age.

There was blood on both of their hands, now.

Beyond had killed several people using his bare hands, in cold blood, as experiments.

And Near had also murdered, but on Beyond's orders. Near had strangled an elderly woman and then stabbed a child, who wasn't even ten yet, to death after killing his first victim. Why? What had the child done to provoke him? Nothing. He was murdered just because the child reminded him of Mello. The only differences were the color tones of his skin and hair and his height and age. Blue eyes…blonde hair… and he was nibbling on a candy bar when Near ran into him. Near killed him after luring him into a vacant lot, stabbing him multiple times, and then bolted.

His murder was on the news that evening. Near watched with wide, timid eyes, meanwhile B giggled and congratulated him. Near ignored Beyond Birthday and his unpleasant comments that made his heart jerk. He concentrated on the news.

The child's name had been Martin Miller. His parents and elder brother had ranted and cried their eyes out asking what kind of monster could do that to their baby boy. _Me._ That was all Near could think. After that he couldn't abide to wear white, but he wouldn't permit himself to wear black, so he went neutral, stuck between, the colors and wore a pale color of gray pajamas. But that had happened months, maybe half or two and a half years ago.

Now he was lying in bed naked with B. They'd had sex many times before and Near had to admit that Beyond knew how to have great sex, but he did poor when it came to blowjobs, so Near was grateful when anal sex was mentioned. That was much better, painful, but better than letting B suck and nip his erection.

Before B penetrated him the albino momentarily wondered how they had gotten there, but remembered after like a second of thinking, the he felt B inside him.

_Why are…we doing…this…why today?_ He wondered.

He remembered as B came inside of him that Beyond was going to kill himself that day. He was going to kill himself and leave Near to do the rest of the dirty work. Killing Naomi Misora, then L and Watari and a couple other people B despised. He was like Beyond Birthday's successor _and_ lover at the time. It was a scary, sick kind of relationship they shared, but neither of them thought so. All of Near's disgusted thoughts had vanished long ago.

Lying with B on top of him, panting, Near picked at B's raven black hair, musing to himself about Beyond's plan. "Once your dead… A will totally bitch at you…." He said quietly, aloud.

"So?"

"I'll bitch at you too." Near said squeezing B's waist firmly. "If your plan screws up and I get caught and put on death row, then die I'll totally bitch at you along with A."

B snickered. "Then I won't die."

"Liar."

"Just shut the hell up." B snarled.

Near kept his mouth shut, knowing the consequences that would follow if he disobeyed.

"I know what I'm doing." B suddenly muttered.

"I know." Near agreed. "You're a genius."

"Yes. I am aren't I?"

"Yes, and so am I. We're both complete and the rest of the world is only broken, _we're_ truly the only sane ones."

"That's right." B said grabbing a handful of Near's snowy white hair. "And you better not fucking forget that! After I'm dead you better not forget a single thing or I swear you'll die. You'll die before you even realize your dead."

Near didn't respond.

Beyond yanked at the boy's hair.

No reaction.

He yanked harder, but still there was no reaction.

He pouted.

"Come on!" Beyond whined. "Scream for me! You used to scream for me, so beautifully you can still scream!"

Near scowled at him. "First off, I only scream if we're having sex. Second off, I haven't screamed for you for no reason whatsoever since I was ten. And third off, there is no way I'll scream for you now, so just go to hell."

"Oh, but I will be soon, Nate." Beyond said calmly. That tugged at Near's heart in some funny way. He felt his heart twitch and he felt a pang of hurt start to form around his chest. He sighed. Beyond was the only other human he'd made contact with for the last nine or so years. In truth B was sort of like his father. He at least owed B for being there for him, for not allowing him to become suicidal as A and he (B) had. But who knew? After B died, after he died Near would be alone and he would drift further into insanity. He could use that moment to hold onto something, before losing the last shred of sanity he had left. Near got up and straddled B's hips.

The L impersonator gave him a bewildered stare.

"Okay, I'll scream." He whispered staring into B's sparkling red eyes. _Damn, his eyes are so beautiful, so red, they remind me of blood. _He thought as lust snuck into his thoughts.

He screamed as loud and as long as he could. Taking no notice when B started to squeeze his thighs. It wasn't unusual for him to squeeze and poke and do anything else he liked to Near's body as long as it brought them both sexual gratification…or at least brought _him_ the gratification. When Near finished screaming he looked down at B who was smirking. It was a strange kind of smirk that Near hadn't seen before. "What?" he asked scowling.

"You're so sexy." B said smirking.

"Shut up, I am not." Near huffed blushing. He turned away from B so he wasn't able to see. "I'm horrid."

"Yes, yes you are, but you're also very beautiful and you're also very passionate, Nate."

"That's only what you think."

"…."

"…."

"What do _you_ think?" B asked Near softly. "It matters mostly what you think of yourself. Understand that, dove? Oh, I know you do. You're so smart that you understand things easier than what the other idiots in life do. Isn't that right?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Near muttered rolling his eyes. "You're sweet, I get it."

B ran a hand through the albino's white curls as he continued staring down at his lover/mentor/friend/father figure. "What do you think we should do now?" Beyond asked with a childish grin. "I don't know about you, but I think _I _should get to fuckin sleep without you waking me up after the damn clock strikes midnight."

"Ooh," B purred with a smile "you talk so dirty after sex, Nate."

Near ignored him.

"I think you should learn why you shouldn't say such dirty words." B said rolling Near over onto his stomach. Near didn't struggle. He closed his eyes and kept one thought in his mind as B fucked him. _Naked dancing Naruto_. He thought repeatedly. _Naked dancing Naruto_. _Naked dancing Naruto_. _Naked dancing Naruto_. _Naked dancing Naruto_. _Screw Naruto! Naked dancing Sasuke and Gaara! Naked dancing Sasuke and Gaara! Naked dancing Sasuke and Gaara!_

It ended as B came inside of him and then kissed his pale, sweaty forehead tenderly. The salty cum hurt his torn entrance but Near didn't bother voicing his pain. Near wanted so much to kill B, but the raven was gonna do that to himself later, so he didn't have to worry about it. Everything seemed to be going according to plan.

Or so Near thought….


	3. Chapter 3

**Pwease don't be mad at me! I'm sorry! I've been busy lately!**

**Anyways, pwease r&r and pwease excuse the OOCness but this is an AU so ya can't blame me!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note so get off my back!**

**Lol**

**Anywayz, plz let me know if this wuzz good...okay...or if it was like totally, brutally bad! Remeber: be honest!**

* * *

Watching the news late in the evening Near waited patiently for it to be announced that a mysterious killer murdered a detective known as Rue Ryuzaki. It came up towards the end of the broadcast as breaking news. Near smirked as he waited for the 'breaking news' to be announced. But he could only let out a choked sob when it was. Nobody had died.

Instead it was announced that the killer was caught after attempting suicide.

It was announced that the killer had sever third degree burns and was muttering nonsense. But the albino knew it wasn't nonsense. He was babbling the truth but nobody was listening well enough to know that. As what B had said was revealed through the newswoman covering the story Near felt ready to go to the hospital and murder Beyond. He was spilling the whole truth from beginning to the end and even to the present!

"The kidnapping, raping, the beatings, the betrayal, our plans, the murders, fucking L and…torture…and…every-fucking-thing!" Near shouted. Slamming one of his fists into a nearby wall he let out another sob of anger and sorrow. He threw an empty beer bottle at the television and watching as it shattered and gave off sparks. He felt tears build up in his eyes. Everything he'd gone through had been for nothing…or had it? Nobody knew about him or how he fit into B's twisted plans. Nobody knew that he was working with Beyond behind the scenes as his successor/lover. Nobody had so much as a clue that he even existed.

And he knew just how he could use that to his advantage.

* * *

In the hospital, three weeks later, Mello sat uneasily with Matt. They were both uneasy and pissed off with Beyond. L was questioning him, since his condition had been labeled stable. The raven motioned for them to come into the room with him, which meant he wasn't getting any straight answers from the crazed killer. The blonde was more than just willing to question Beyond about his victims. He was eager.

Beyond had been bandaged and only half his face could be seen. His entire left half and small parts of his right had been badly burnt and were bandaged, but it was mostly a majority of his left half that was burnt all the way down to his hips and some of his legs and feet were burnt, as well. Upon seeing the blonde and redhead B smirked.

"Hello, Mail, Mihael." He greeted sounding smug and looking insane. "Last time I saw you two you were small boys. Yes you were small, little boys. Small, little, evil boys."

"Shut the hell up!" Mello snapped.

"You're the one who's evil." Matt growled behind his friend.

"Mello, Matt we're here to talk not to start a fight with a lunatic." L said coolly. "I've been unable to get any answers from B, but he says that he'll only answer questions as long as you are both present. So, please don't make him change whatever little bit of mind he has left. And B I trust you'll live up to our agreement."

B looked to him scowling resentfully. "Yeah, yeah, I'll live up to it, Lawli."

"No real names." L snarled.

B gave a faint nod. "Question away." He murmured.

"How many victims have you killed, since you left Whammy's?" L asked.

There was a temporary silence in the air around the four.

He stood silent as he watched B who seemed to be counting silently to himself. A small smirk played on his lips for a second, and then vanished. He suddenly appeared dazed. He looked to L indifferently. "You know." He replied and it was actually his most truthful answer. "You all know." He glared over to Mello and Matt who both glared back heatedly, suspiciously. They hated the traitor, the copycat…the murderer.

"Beyond, we know that you've killed three people." L stated firmly. "Backyard Bottomslash, Quarter Queen and Believe Bridesmaid. Has there been anyone else?"

"Yeah, anyone we didn't find?" Matt muttered quietly.

Mello stood silently, but still eager.

An evil glint appeared in B's blood red eyes and a cruel smirk painted itself across his face. He chanced a glance to Mello and Matt who avoided eye contact with the killer. But it didn't matter. B could still sense their anguish and pain. He knew just whom they had in mind. He knew they were thinking of a small boy who had been pronounced dead several months after he had gone missing in the woods behind Whammy's House. He knew that Mello and Matt were there just to hear his confessional on murdering said small boy. He knew that the two felt pain from it and he could use that pain to taunt them.

"Who have you had in mind?" he asked keeping that cruel glint and evil smirk. "Tell me, just who do you have in mind? Perhaps, if you give me a description I'll know."

"Nate Rivers." L said sternly. "Otherwise known as Near. He was one of my top successors shortly after A died. I was informed that he went missing after being coaxed into going out into the woods behind the orphanage to play. I myself investigated the scene and upon investigating I found evidence, which proves that he was unwillingly abducted. Blood suggested he was attacked. And claw marks on the ground suggest he was tackled to the ground. I know how much you loved A and how much you despise me and blame me for A's death. So were you the one who abducted Nate Rivers?"

B giggled. "He looked so much like you."

Out the corner of his good eye B could see Matt's body had went rigid and Mello's body was tensed. B chuckled as he saw the look of regret and sorrow that graced L's face. "What did you do?" Mello growled angrily from where he stood. "What ever do you mean?" B inquired. The blonde was getting more impatient and more angered by the second. Matt sensed this, putting a hand on Mello's shoulder as if warning him to stay calm. He looked at the killer and answered B's question.

"You caught Near, right?" he said watching as Beyond's smirk grew slightly. "So what'd you do to the poor kid after you abducted him?" Matt tried to not show that he was afraid of what the answer would be, but Beyond already knew he was scared of hearing what he so desperately needed to know, what he'd been wanting to know for so many years. B giggled sadistically as he looked to L who glared at his look alike bitterly.

"L has an idea…doesn't he?"

"Yes, I've a very good idea that you beat and taunted him."

"Yes, he looked so much like you…but…beatings weren't good enough…." B said unenthusiastically suddenly feeling exhausted. All six eyes widened and looked at the killer. None of the three geniuses had expected to hear that. L, himself, was especially not prepared to hear that 'beatings weren't enough'. "W-what do you mean?" Matt whispered all color seemed to have drained itself from his face. B looked at him then to Mello and finally to L. He sighed and smiled as if recalling some blissful memory of the past.

"I saw a lot of L in him, but after a while _I _was in him."

"You aren't serious." L groaned feeling sickened. "Y-you…you're…can't…you really…." He let his voice trail off as B continued speaking. For once in his life L was at a loss for words. He felt speechless as he listened to what the red-eyed killer had to say.

"He was a bit too blank to be your successor, or so I think, but he was intelligent. Very indifferent and hollow that boy was, and yet he looked so fuckable. So I did. He screamed so loudly, noisy brat, but he was so much fun to play with. His hair was so soft, and his skin was so creamy and white…umm…so beautiful. He was so pliable. Yet so afraid and pitiful, he had hopes that he'd be saved by his little friends…Merro and Matty I believe he called them. But they never saved him. Did you?"

Both Matt and Mello stood silent enduring each wave of regret, pain and fear that washed over them. They could only listen as B continued with his sick confession. "No, you didn't if I remember correctly when I abducted Nate his little friends ran off. Naturally he was slower than they were and fell behind. It was easy for me to knock him over the head with a rock. Oh, there was so much blood."

L couldn't hide his disgust as he realized B enjoyed the pain he was causing and had caused. "Little Nate seemed unbreakable at first, but after a while…he cracked…he broke…and he shattered…." B paused to savor the tension and grief that hung in the empty air. "Once shattered he gave up all reasons to live and I took a big knife and cut out his little, broken albino heart. His last words being 'Merro, Matty please save me.' But still he died broken, naked and without a heart. It's just how L should die."

Matt sobbed silently letting his tears hit the floor.

L stood quiet, but his heart was split in half.

Mello, not one to shed his tears in front of people, let out an enraged cry and leapt for the killer, but was stopped by Matt who held him tightly. Even overcome by grief the redhead knew he had to hold his friend back. The blonde was very mad, now. B chuckled at the blonde and his helpless anger. L let out a saddened sigh. "What about his body?" the raven asked. Mello stopped trying to get away from Matt and Matt stopped his crying and both of the young adults looked at the red-eyed raven that appeared contented with the trio's misery.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"What became of the child's corpse?" L repeated more heatedly. "You had to have disposed of the remains otherwise they would have already been found."

B inhaled deeply, smiling spitefully. "Trust me, there isn't a single trace that little Nate ever walked this earth. You took care of his records and birth certificate and such matters as that in the government files and all…but I disposed of his physical structure and I demolished his spirit, before doing so, as well. He was weak in the end while I was strong. I won. And I destroyed him, and by destroying Nate I killed a bit of L."

L winced slightly.

"His body never walked this earth!" B cackled madly.

"Oh?" L inquired doubtfully. "Are you sure, B? Did you leave not a single trace?"

"Yes. I made sure to destroy fingerprints on objects he'd touched in the cell, where he spent his last hours of life sobbing and begging for his Merro and Matty to help stop his pain. And as for his body…well…his bones were made into dust and his flesh was burnt and his organs dissolved in special acid."

"Stop!" Matt begged feeling like he'd vomit.

B, however continued speaking his lies. "Oh, it was so much fun to play with his body even after all life left him. Nate was beautiful on the outside…and the inside." B laughed his evil Shinigami laugh and watched as Matt and Mello slumped down against the far wall unable to stand any longer both felt sick. "His large eyes were the first to go. I made sure of that! They were so damn annoying! Just like L's eyes. Yes, exactly like L's eyes."

"I see…." L muttered as he turned from the killer and looked at the grieving Mello and Matt. He knew that the pain was practically killing them both mentally and emotionally. "Thank you for shedding light to that…now please do us all a favor and go to hell…."

B scowled and turned from him, once certain that L and the other two weren't watching he chuckled to himself. _I can't believe they bought my lies so easily!_ He thought it'd have taken much more convincing but he was content with the results he got. _Now, Nate will be safe to kill those bastards for me, just as was planned._

"And what of the child…Martin Miller?" L asked suddenly catching Beyond off guard. "He was five years old. He had blonde hair, blue eyes and pasty pale skin. His parents informed me that he loved to eat chocolate bars whenever he could buy one from a nearby candy store. He appeared nothing like me. If anything he reminded me of Mello. And the initials M.M. remind me of Mello and Matt. Please, tell me were you responsible for his death as well… or is there a secret you aren't letting us in on?"

"What kind of secret L?" he hissed irritably. "What the fuck could I be hiding?"

"Why would you murder a child who reminds you of Mello?"

"I never murdered that child." B snorted indignantly. "Why waste my time? Why dirty my hands when I know you wouldn't be the least but effected by the child's death? Nate was a different story. I knew that if he were to perish you would feel at fault and therefore would be in agony over his death, which was by the way, your fault."

"How was it my fault?" L demanded.

"You allowed A to die." B hissed venomously. "I made sure that Nate knew how much his fate was your fault before I ripped his heart from his chest. Before I beat him I made sure he knew. Before he was raped I made sure he knew it was your fault."

"So you filled his head with lies?"

B didn't respond but made his anger apparent.

"L can we just go?" Matt asked trembling. "I-I think we're gonna get sick if we have to be here any longer." L studied both of the teens and knew Matt was right. They had learned too much and the shock of their friend's fate was rattling their nerves.

The three of them left. Beyond Birthday smirked as he fell into a dreamless slumber shortly after the three geniuses left. He knew that one way or another soon, no matter what L's lifespan said, the detective was going to die. Soon L would be dead.

He just knew Near wouldn't let him down.

* * *

**Ooh, things are getting interesting aren't they? The main question I bet you're wondering is if L will ACTUALLY die sooner than what his lifespan says...well...aww who am I kidding B trained Near to be a seriel killer! Who actually believes that L stands a chance against a genius albino seriel killer? Wow, not as tough as I thought it'd sound! Lol. Anywayz, reviews are always appreiciated! Oh, sorry if that was MS, but ya can't blame me, since my spelling skills suck at the moment! :^P**


	4. Chapter 4

**Time furr the next chappie! Ooh, I'm soooooooooooooooo excited! I hope this chappie will be long enough to satisfy you ravenous readers! Lol Anywayz, again I don't regret, but am sorry for the OOC-ness in the character, but this is an AU so it's not my fault! Well, yea it is but ya know what I mean! Lol ;^P**

**Plz, Read, review and above all enjoy!**

**:^D**

* * *

Mello and Matt were surprisingly silent once back at their apartment.

L sat in his room with his laptop closed in his lap.

It was across from theirs and expected to hear angry swears and loud noises such as things being thrown around or perhaps broken, but he didn't hear that. He only heard quiet sobbing. The news was taking its toll on them. He knew how close the three boys had been, but he never would have thought Nate would have met such a horrible end. He had never met the boy but he had heard a lot about him, mostly from Mello and Matt who were the only children capable of befriending the apathetic, anti-social albino.

_They were best friends_, L thought silently to himself, _and after so many years of wistful thinking and hoping that if he _were_ dead that his death would have been peaceful, but that last comforting thought had been cruelly torn away by Beyond's confession. If only Near had had a more peaceful death, then just perhaps, they wouldn't be so badly affected. _L put his thumb to his lips as he stared down at the laptop still in deep thought._ They've learnt the cruel truth and it's tearing them apart. How can I stand by and let them suffer? I should probably go see if they'll be alright. I can't comfort them, but maybe I can say something that's a tad consoling._

Setting the laptop aside, he got up from where he sat, but before he could step outside his door he was attacked from behind. A man who had been hiding in a coat closet near the door had found the right moment to strike! A cloth covered by what L guessed was chloroform was forced over his mouth and nose. He didn't inhale, instead he tried throwing the person off of him, but he failed and only made his assailant tumble backwards, slightly. The man landed with a grunt and L saw that his attacker wore all black, save for some dark purple.

He wore black pants and sneakers and a dark purple shirt under a black leather jacket and he wore a black spiked collar around his neck; he also wore a dark purple scarf, which covered the lower half of his face, and he wore black sunglasses so his eyes weren't revealed to the detective. His head was shaved and his skin was a sickly tan color. L wondered who he was, as he'd never seen anyone like him before.

His attacker rushed him, but L managed to trip him up. As he tried to retreat to get help from his successors the man grabbed him by his ankle and wrestled with him on the ground. It was useless, though, as he ended up inhaling the chloroform. He fell to the floor, limp after several seconds. Matt, who had heard the struggle looked from his and Mello's room to see a man decked in black dragging L down the hall.

He immediately drew his gun and fired, careful not to kill the dark clothed man.

They'd want him for questioning. Lucky that the weapon had a silencer Matt watched as the man in dark colored clothing fell to the ground, whimpering in agony. The redhead called for Mello and together they got the man and L into their apartment. The man was tied to a chair meanwhile L was brought back to consciousness. He was perplexed but remembered enough to piece things together once he was awake.

"Let's question this bastard." Mello said moving over to their captive.

Pulling the man's sunglasses off infuriated azure eyes met frightened dark green eyes, which looked about frantically as if trying to find a way to escape. His eyes quickly became teary and sobs ripped from his throat. Mello ignored the man's terror and became curious as to why he didn't speak or yell or anything. He removed the scarf carefully. His eyes widened and he jumped back as he let out a cry of horror. Matt and L looked at the man and both gaped, speechlessly. The man's lips were sewn together, shut. Crimson blood dribbled down his chin and was dried around his mouth.

"What the fuck?" Mello gasped. "L what the hell was this guy after you for?"

The raven gawped, then managed to stammer. "I-I don't-don't have the f-faintest I-idea."

The man was in obvious pain. Matt was the one who fainted, L was the one to stared at the man's lips which were sewn together and bleeding and Mello was the one who had enough senses to grab out his pocket knife and cut the threads, thus allowing the man's lips to part. Blood dribbled more freely and the man gasped and let out loud groans and sobs of terror. "Who sent you here and why were your damn lips like that?" The blonde shouted. His eyes, which were so filled by rage and confusion, demanded an answer.

"H-he did-didn't want me t-to t-talk." The man sobbed. "H-he told me what to d-do and I said I would if h-he'd just leave my daughter alone. H-he promised…." He sobbed in anguish as he turned away from the blonde's gaze.

"Who is 'He'?" Mello demanded.

"I-I can't-can't tell y-you o-or he-he'll kill M-Molly."

"What's your name?" L asked breaking into Mello's interrogation.

"Meek." The man replied trembling. "Mitchell Meek."

"And your daughter's name is Molly Meek?"

The man nodded.

L felt as though he were making a connection. "What's your wife's name?"

"Wilma Meek."

"Ryuzaki what does this have to do with the fact that he tried to capture you for some sick son of a bitch who apparently can't face you himself for reasons unknown?" Mello demanded making sure he used L's alias. "Do you have a connection?" the blonde added. L nodded grunting his reply. "Mr. Meek did you hear of a boy being murdered a while back? Martin Miller?"

The man nodded numbly. "I know his father. We had gone to college together."

"Can you tell me what his family's names are?"

"Rufus Miller is his father, Julia Miller is his mother and his brother's name is Kevin Miller." the man trembled and muttered with confusion, "I-I don't understand."

Mello wanted to slap him, but instead pulled a peice of chocolate from his pocket and popped it into his mouth.

"People whose initials are MM are being harmed." L explained knowingly. "Your wife isn't involved in this ugly business, I'm guessing, only because her initials are WM. And Martin Miller's family's' initials are different letters instead of MM. Mr. Meek, please tell us the name of your captor. We'll be able to help you and your daughter."

The man looked at L with hopeful eyes.

* * *

Outside in a van a showy figure clad in pale gray clothes listened to the conversation via a bug he had secretly placed on Meek. He listened waiting for Meek to answer he held his breath then let it out when Meek responded composedly, "Okay, I'll tell you whatever you need to know."

That pissed the gray clad figure off. He hated it when things didn't go his way! "Oh, well," he said quietly to himself as he pulled a small detonator from his pajama pants pocket, "I guess things will begin to get more interesting, now."

He pushed the red button and listened to the sound of static as the bug was destroyed and he knew that Meek wouldn't be talking anytime soon…or ever again for that matter. He started the engine and sped off to plan his next course of action. He'd need another pawn and he knew just whom he could use. He tugged at a curl of white hair and felt disgusted with himself. He'd meant to stop that, because he had meant to dye his hair black. He hated looking at his curls of white. They sickened him to no end. Black was more fitting.

White was innocent and pure….

Black wasn't….

He knew this and sped up some more. Opening his door he baled out. The van crashed and then exploded. He lay in a tall patch of grass. His elbows and knees were scrapped up, but thankfully not broken. His ribs hurt badly. Shaking his head he staggered to his feet and drug himself off down the road.

* * *

L and Mello stared at the corpse, which had been Mitchell Meek only minutes ago. It seemed as though he had exploded from the inside out. Blood had sprayed everywhere and so did organs. The mess was terrible. The moment Matt came to he fainted again. Mello was the first to regain his senses, he cleaned up the mess and returned late the next morning. He was dead tired. L held what looked like a broken chunk of wires and metal.

"What the hell is that?"

"It would seem we're dealing with no ordinary killer." L said. "This device must've been sewn inside of Meek, perhaps, in case he decided to give us information and detonated from a nearby position by the killer. I'd guess that the killer was outside of the building, hiding in plain sight. And my theory was confirmed five minutes ago when a van and the body of Mary Meek was discovered crashed about ten miles off from here."

"And the driver?"

"Nowhere to be found."

"No way! How could he wreck and walk away?"

"Maybe he didn't wreck and walk away, perhaps he bailed out and maintained minor injuries or just enough wounds to slow down his pace. I believe that Beyond will know."

"You think he knows the killer?"

"Yes, no, I can't describe what I think, but I know that he's been involved with the killer in some way. It's just a feeling, but…." He shook his head as if deciding that what he wanted to say wasn't good enough. "Things are just too…too…similar."

"Similar?"

"Yes. He's, let's assume the killer is a male, killing people who had the initials MM and he's using methods superior to B's. Or I believe that his methods are superior. Anyway, I'm going to go back to the hospital and question Beyond about this new murderer."

"I'm coming too." Mello said sternly. "Matt you stay here and keep an eye out for any fishy characters. Got it?"

The redhead nodded.

"And don't faint again, sissy."

"Shut up!" Matt snapped. "It was a lot of blood okay? And…and…and shock! There was a lot of shock on my behalf and I'd appreciate it if you'd just shut up!"

"Whatever." Mello shrugged. "We should be back sooner rather than later, kay?"

The redhead only nodded. He didn't believe that the blonde meant what he'd said. Normally 'sooner' meant later in Mello speak. He decided to fool around some, maybe play some of his new video games before actually keeping his eyes out for any odd characters. As soon as the two left he ran to get his portable Nintendo, but found it was gone and wondered what to do, since he was certain that Mello had confiscated it.

He ultimately ended up doing as he was told after an hour or so of though and while doing it thought of all the insults he could call Mello when he got back, but a strange smell interrupted his thoughts. He recognized that smell as…anesthesia.

He looked around and ran to a window, but found it was nailed shut from the outside. _Damn_, he thought trying not to inhale the gas knowing that if he blacked out it could be the end of him, _I can't escape unless…. _

He looked to the door.

He tried desperately to escape and failed. It had been locked from the other side. "You can't escape!" someone yelled from the other side of the door. His lungs started to burn. He couldn't take it anymore! He took in a huge gulp of air and felt very tired within moments. He staggered for the wireless phone, which was a few feet from him. He managed to grab it and dial in Mello's cell phone number.

"Hello?" he heard Mello's voice say over static. "Hello, who is this?"

"Mel…ee…M-Matt…." he said garbling his words due to the anesthesia. "Mel…lo… hell… elp…help me…."

He managed to get his plea out before a foot stomped down on his hand causing him to cry out in agony and release the phone. His head fell to the floor as he realized he was defeated. His hair fell in his face, but he paid it no mind, just barely conscious that he was feeling pain as someone kicked and stomped his body repeatedly. He was sure some bones broke but the anesthesia had him so far gone that he didn't realize it hurt so badly.

He finally blacked out the last thing he heard was the sound of the wireless phone breaking as it was thrown against a wall. Matt wasn't conscious when he was lifted up and carried from the room. His hand and wrist broken, three of his ribs were cracked and some blood dribbled down his face. He wasn't conscious to witness all the death his captor had caused. He wasn't at all conscious when he was thrown in the back of a car trunk.

He was in a sleep where only nightmares existed.

* * *

Mello had yelled into the phone hoping Matt would respond, but he didn't. The last he'd heard from his friend was that awful cry of pain. He looked to L who had finished questioning B who refused any knowledge of the knowing or having known the killer who was after L's head. The raven knew that look Mello gave him. It was the same look he got when he arrived at Whammy's House to investigate Near's disappearance.

Mello had run up to him with teary azure eyes that were filled by pain, terror, worry, sorrow and guilt. He'd begged L to find 'Nia' as he couldn't pronounce Near's name correctly as a small boy. He'd begged and begged sounding so broken and guilty that it almost broke the panda-eyed detective's heart, which he'd surrounded by barriers to block out emotion. Mello crippled said barriers and L had promised he would find 'Nia' and when he couldn't Mello blamed himself for persuading the younger boy into playing with Matt and him outside. The blonde had cried so much and hated himself more than he had ever before. L had never seen such a broken hearted Mello before. It was worse than when his parents were murdered before him, worse than when he was first brought to Whammy's, worse than when he beat Matt up over a silly game and even worse than when he broke Linda's arm by accident and blamed Matt, thus getting the redhead punished.

L shook away the unpleasant thoughts.

There were no tears in Mello's eyes, but there was plenty of fear and sorrow and worry.

"Matt's in trouble." He said in an almost silent voice. "L, I think he was being attacked."

They both hurried back to the apartment and were shocked at what they found. Bodies of the dead were everywhere. All had been shot in the chest and from the looks of broken doors and holes in the walls; the person was desperate to find someone. Once to their room they found a discarded container, which had been pumping anesthesia into the room. The door was broken down and the wireless phone lay broken to bits. Drops of blood were also noticed.

"Dammit!" Mello shouted kicking a large hole in the wall. "Dammit! Dammit! Bloody hell! Damn the bastard who took Matt to hell!" he swore breaking the window which had been nailed shut and smashing a chair into the floor, breaking it to pieces. L examined everything carefully, before consoling Mello, helping the blonde cool down.

"Matt should be fine." He said softly. "Whoever did this probably took Matt by mistake or as bait to get to us. Maybe they are only after me, but we can't give up on the idea that they may be after all three of us, although I feel that Matt was only taken as bait. Therefore it stands to reason they won't kill him. So we should not worry for long."

"Yeah, you're right." Mello agreed. "What do we do in the meantime?"

"Search for Matt." He replied smiling reassuringly. "I'm confident that some of your mafia friends may know where he is being held and by whom."

* * *

Meanwhile, Matt was becoming conscious in a dark room. He groaned as he heard loud shouts of anger. "You incompetent moron!" someone yelled sounding really pissed. "I'm not going to waste my time with you any longer! I'd be better off doing things myself! You idiots can't do anything right! Ugh!" there was a pause. Matt heard the same voice say coolly, "That's it I'll kill you."

"No, please!" someone cried out fearfully. "I did as you asked! Please, just let me go! I can't take it anymore! No wait! Please-"

Loud gun shots were heard and the sounds of a gun hitting the ground. Someone snapped their fingers and the sounds of a body being dragged away floated to Matt's ears. The same cool voice mumbled in a low voice that Matt couldn't understand and in an instant the door to the room Matt was in opened. Light flooded the room temporarily blinding the redheaded hacker. The door closed and the bright light vanished.

It was replaced by eerily dim light that came from a bulb in the center of the room. Matt quickly realized that he was lying on a cot. His body was bandaged and he was stripped of his clothing save for his boxers. He blushed a bright red and refused to face his captor who was getting closer with each passing minute.

"Don't worry, Matt, I saw _everything_ when they were patching you up." Someone said in a cool, childish tone. "No need to be…shy." He said running a cold hand down Matt's thigh. The redhead shivered and refused to look at who was speaking to him. "H-how do you know my name?" he demanded.

"Name?" his captor said sounding confused. "Matt, I know that isn't your real name." His captor spoke matter-of-factly. "Your real name is Mail Jeevas and I know that you were once an occupant of Whammy's House Orphanage and I know that you were ranked third, and then second as L's successors. I know that you were afraid of a fucking serial killer Elmo and Big Bird when you were like eight. And you have a love for video games and an addiction to cigarettes." There was a sigh and brief pause. "You were found as a small toddler stealing batteries from a pawn shop and were adopted by a family in Italy, but after they died you were shipped to Whammy's. You eventually became a hacker in the mafia and have recently been beaten and kidnapped and brought here to me by mistake."

"How the fuck do you know all that shit?"

"Foul mouth." He heard the voice mutter angrily. "It's none of your damn business how I know what I know, all you should concentrate on is surviving, you worthless dog!" the same voice hissed with venom. "This was all a damn mistake, anyway."

"Mistake?" Matt echoed with disbelieve. "I was beaten and brought here all by mistake?"

"Yes, and no."

"What the hell…do you…mean?" He demanded. A hand slapped the side of his face. He hissed in pain feeling a horrible stinging pain. "Shut up! Shut up! I didn't have to tell the doctor to fix you, I didn't have to kill the idiot who did this to you and I didn't have to-"

"-keep me alive?" Matt finished.

A dry, derisive giggle made him shudder. "Don't be childish, Matt of course I need you alive. If you were dead you'd be of no use to me. Well, you'd be dog food, let's put it that way. Besides, if you were dead, there wouldn't be a living soul in a six mile radius of this place, well, save for myself, but you have to keep that secret."

Matt quickly decided that whoever was holding him prisoner was a dangerous individual and more than likely male, since males were normally the more aggressive gender. A cold hand played with his boxers. His hands immediately swatted at that…cold hand. "Oh, doesn't Matt want to play?" his captor said pretending to pout. Matt shuddered. "Why do you need me alive? And how will you kill people in a six mile radius of this place without killing yourself in the process?"

"Shh, secrets Matt, those are secrets." A voice whispered in his ear. Chills ran down his spine. Even his breath was cold. Matt couldn't help but to nervously ask, "Are you always so cold?" There was silence then the sound of someone moving away from him. He chanced to look at who was holding him prisoner, but it was too late they'd retreated back into the darkness. From what he could tell he was hugging himself.

"I'm not cold." Matt heard him muttered to himself. "I'm not cold. I'm not cold. I'm not cold. I'm so, so cold. It's his fault. He made me colder than ice. I fucking hate him. I hate everyone. That's why I'm cold. I'm so, so cold. Cold. Cold. Cold."

Matt swallowed deciding that a lunatic was holding him prisoner.

"Um…who…made you cold?" Matt chanced to ask. "Maybe I could help you to stop being…so…cold maybe I could help you…become…warmer?" He didn't know what to really say, but hoped he wouldn't make the psycho who was hiding in the dark and muttering to himself any more furious than what he already was. After processing what Matt had said his captor went silent for a split second. There was a hiss of what sounded like pain, then a cry of rage. Something was thrown at Matt and missed him just barely. Matt saw it was a shard of glass and was thankful when it hit the far wall behind him.

"I don't need fixing!" the enraged voice yelled. "I'm perfectly fine the way I am! I'm perfectly fine the way he made me! I don't need to be warmer! I love the cold! I've always been cold!" there was a pause and a broken little voice seemed to whisper in despair, "but I've always been alone as well."

"What…do…you mean?"

"None of your business, just know that if you were dead then my plans would be flawed and if my plans were flawed then they wouldn't work and if I fail instead of succeeding then I'll kill myself. I've implanted a special device in each of my hostages, which is terribly painful as you may already know. Well, I've the detonator to each device some are connected, one and the same. All it takes is the press of a button…Matt…and they're gone…death is painless."

"You mean-"

"Yes, Meek had one installed in his digestive area. I promised to release his daughter and him if he didn't talk. I really didn't want to have to kill them, but he broke our agreement, so…I pushed the button. And I let his daughter burn in that car wreck. Some, however, don't work right and…things get messy…Meek was one of those where things got messy. Matt, you are lucky."

"L-lucky?"

"Yes, I didn't have the heart to install such a device inside of you, but I've installed one in myself. It is located just below my heart. One press of a button and I'll die. Matt this device is special. It makes death…slow…painful…."

Matt stared in horror and shock at the figure shadowed in the darkness. "Y-you put one of those things inside yourself…and made it…where dying is worse?"

"Yes. If you look on the floor beside you, you will see a small box. Inside is the detonator for the device. I put my life in your hands. You may kill me if you wish, but would that make you any better than me? Tell me Matt what makes a soldier any different from a murderer?"

"What do you mean?"

"If a soldier kills a man on the battlefield they are labeled a hero. Yet if they were normal citizens and killed the same man on the streets they are labeled a murdered. They aren't loved but despised. So tell me Matt what makes them so different? They can both kill, but rules are twisted around so that one appears to be better than the other, and yet they both are guilty of taking another human life. So, please tell me the difference."

"I can't tell you the answer to a question that you already know the answer to."

"…."

"…."

"I figured as much, but please, look." His captor said sounding apathetic and emotionally drained. "You have the choice Matty."

Wincing at being called 'Matty' Matt looked exactly where he was told to and found the detonator inside the box. He tossed the box aside and looked at the device. It had a red, green and blue button on its shiny chrome surface. Matt looked at them bemused. "What are these for?" Matt asked the figure who seemed to have moved further off into the dark.

"The red will kill me, the green will give me a taste of pain and the blue will destroy the device, but will kill me in the process as to disarm it a metal piece will have to be removed, but if the piece is removed whilst inside of me…it will puncture my organ and death will follow, as you may already know. Matt is no fool I am sure."

Matt swallowed feeling nervous. He had three options. One he could kill the person who was holding him there and try to escape, but that would just prove just how much like the killer he was. Another option was to show his captor some pain, but he didn't know how much a 'taste' would be and certainly didn't want to kill anyone, well, not yet anyway. And his third option was to try and disarm whatever device the madman had put inside of himself and end up killing him anyways. Any way he had a chance of killing his captor.

"I won't push a button." He said numbly.

"Why?"

"I don't know who you really are, so I can't judge you or identify why you've done what you have. I can't judge or justify your actions, not yet. I just wanna know one thing…."

"Yes?"

"Will you talk with me…or will you kill me?"

There was a pause then some muttering and an angry growl. After what felt like hours and probably was…there was a reply. "I'll speak with you some, but torturing you will be my passion." The same voice said quietly. "I'll make you cry before this is all over."

"I'd like to see you try!" Matt snarled challengingly. "I won't cry, no matter what!" There was the sound of a creaky doorknob being turned. "Liar." He heard his captor hiss before disappearing out the door.

_Mello, L hurry the hell up!_ Matt mentally screamed at them.

* * *

Mello felt panicked as he spoke with an anonymous informant on Matt's kidnapping. The man was sly looking not at all trustworthy in appearance whatsoever. But he told the blonde what he wanted to know without hesitation, which was mostly because he was afraid of the blonde. Terrified actually as he had heard many stories of Mello and his reputation in the mafia, which was well earned if the blonde did say so himself, which he silently did and accepted the fear with both fear that Matt was going to die and pride.

"The kid who is behind all of this is a genius." The informant said trembling. "He's been planning and working on this for weeks. And the kid really hates a detective who goes by the name of L. I dunno why he hates him so much, but my guess would be because his lover was taken in by the detective and a Misora woman."

"You mean, Beyond Birthday?"

"Yeah, that sounds like the crazy bastard's lover aright, cept he called 'em B or Beyond all the time. Kid seemed really pissed last I saw him, which turned out to be yesterday."

"What did he want?" Mello demanded feeling irked.

"Kid was banged up something bad. He wanted a good doctor who didn't ask questions and like any scum or famous associate of crime, the kid came to me for info. I helped him out and he helped me out. But I'd say he got the worse end of the stick."

"What do you mean?"

"After getting all bandaged up he had the doc cut his chest open and install some weird device he made below his heart. After getting patched back up he started to mutter to himself and said if I repeated any of this information to anyone other than you then I'd be…dead…deader than a doornail. You get me?"

"Yeah, but what the hell did the freak look like? I need a description."

"Short. Dirty white curls, which he said he was gonna dye some other color and he had this whole albino look going for him, cept he don't got the eyes. His eyes were large and gray…and he wore some pale gray colored pajamas…and he looked younger than what he is. I mean you could mistake him for a ten year old and he's fucking seventeen!"

Mello landed a hard blow to the informant's face.

"What the hell was that-"

Mello grabbed him by his throat and lifted him a few inches off the ground. "Tell anybody I was here and I'll put a bullet between your fucking eyes, rat! And you better stop lying to me!"

"I wasn't lying!"

"You gotta be lyin! The only person I know who looks like that is dead!"

"Maybe not as dead as ya think." The creep said.

Mello glared at the miserable son of a bitch.

Anger and confusion caused the blonde to release the rat and turn on his heel to head back for his and L's new apartment. He felt angry and bemused, but mostly wondered what the guy meant. He didn't thin on it for long. As he entered the apartment a figure sat in a chair. A gun was pointed at him and then fired. Blood spattered on the floor and he fell to the ground. His vision went fuzzy and he lost consciousness soon after.

His last thought being; _what happened to L?_

Then all was silent and black.

* * *

**Hmm, plz R&R! And do ya think Mello will make it out alive? What'll Matt's reaction be? Will Near make him cry? And where the f*c* is L? Hmm, I'm cruel aren't I? Lol ;^P**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hope ya can forgive me for not updating as soon as I'd have liked!**

**I've been busy!**

**Anywayz, here is chappie number 5 and I hope ya will enjoy!**

**I expect some good reviews for this.**

***Giggles***

**I drank loads of coffee to get enough creative thoughts in my head! ****Oh! I feel like such a perv but whaever! I think I did a pretty good job.**

**Pwease R&R.**

***Clears throat***

**Now, onto the story!**

**:^)**

* * *

Nightmares.

That was all Matt was having lately. He hadn't seen his captor in several, more or less, hours in the past few days. Well, the guy holding him prisoner did come in to shove food down his throat or almost drown him with water, which he puked up after a while of gasping and wheezing. It was basically as close as Matt had gotten to feeling like he was in hell while on Earth. After a while the mysterious person came into his cell.

He stepped into the light and Matt tried to look, but the guy was fast and blindfolded him within seconds. All Matt saw before he was blindfolded was a flash of white, gray and black. "Time for some torture, Matt." the same apathetic voice of his captor whispered into his ear. "As I said before, torturing you shall be my passion."

Matt whimpered reluctantly.

"Should we start with cuts or should we start with…we should start with-"

"Shut the hell up and get away from me you freak!" Matt cried out feeling his terror and anger build up inside him. "You're just a freak! A psycho copycat like B! Just back off! I'm not scared of you!"

"Bold words for someone in such a precarious position."

"Why're you doing this to _me_ you big douche!"

"It's apart of the game, Mail Jeevas, haven't you figured that out yet?"

"You son of a bitch! This isn't a game! It's real life! People die and feel pain and they have emotions! You can't just toy with people like a freakin mass murderer! Are you mentally retarded? Are you wanting to really kill people just to get to my friends? Are you totally convinced that you're playing some game, you sick bastard?"

"Yes. Yes I am."

"…."

"Cuts it is then." His captor muttered. "Listen Matt your friend, L he's getting closer than what you think. So I must make you cry before he can find me, that or I must make you kill me, one way or the other it doesn't matter to me. What I plan on doing to you is nothing personal, believe me, it's just how the game must be played. I hope Matt will forgive me."

_No! _The gamer mentally screamed._ I will never forgive you! Not ever! You're hurting people, killing peple and you're about to cut me up and hope I'll forgive you? You're sick! Sick! Sick! Sick!_

"Hope you don't bleed to death." his captor said darkly. "That would be unfortunate."

Hearing this Matt opened his mouth to speak, but a cry of pain was all that escaped his mouth. A knife seemed to take forever to make several shallow cuts in his skin, and then he hissed as something cold and wet and stinging landed in an open cut. It took him a second to realize that the one who was supposed to be mercilessly cutting him to bits was sobbing. "I-I can't." he whispered broken-heartedly. Suddenly Matt heard a hiss of agony then felt warm liquid spatter on his bare chest.

"W-what did you just do?" Matt cried out in terror. He heard a thud and realized that his captor had fell to the floor beside his cot. There was silence for the next few minutes.

"Punished myself." He muttered after a while. "I deserved it. I truely did."

"A-are you bleeding real badly?"

"Maybe."

"You should get checked on."

"Why?"

"You could fucking die!"

"So? Why does Matt care? He hates me. I'm his captor. His tormentor. Enemy."

"I-" he paused thinking then sighed in defeat. "I don't know. I just feel like…like you shouldn't die. Okay? I just want you to keep living until L can bust you. You're alive and I'm alive and I'd like for the both of us to stay that way until L and my friend Mello find us. And believe me they _will_ find us."

"I'll kill that bastard, L." The wounded male said apathetically. Matt felt confusion and hate build up after hearing that sentence. He didn't know anything about the other person but he really hated him. He knew that much just from spending time with him. "Why do you hate L so much?" he demanded. "No, better question is how do you know who he is? Nobody knows that, or at least nobody-"

"Outside of Whammy's House?"

"Yeah." Matt breathed out.

"Pfft, I've known who L is for years. I've just been waiting the right moment to strike. Unlike some people I am not a show off or have the assistance of unique red eyes to help me locate people. I also do not plan on getting caught whilst attempting suicide, either. One press of a button and I'm done for. It's as simple as that."

"Oh God!" the redhead choked out feeling stunned. "You're an associate of Beyond Birthday!"

"Wow, you're a _real_ genius!" the teen who was now standing beside him exclaimed sarcastically rolling his orbs of dark gray.

Matt bit his lips together hoping that he wouldn't say anything embarrassing or something else that would no doubt make him look stupid. Of course this kid is an associate of B's you should've seen that earlier on you big moron! He silently scolded himself. A blade was dragged across his stomach. Matt gasped. Blood oozed to the surface of the shallow cut making the teen clad in gray smirk sadistically. A loud beeping noise from somewhere in the distance was Matt's saving grace and one of the gray clad teen's worst fears. "Damn!" he swore dropping the knife and running for the door. "What's that?" Matt asked him, but it was too late. The teen was gone and Matt was left alone with several minor cuts that, believe it or not, really hurt!

_Mels, L, please hurry up!_ He silently begged.

_I don't think I can take much more of this guy._

* * *

Near looked at the screens of the security cameras. He saw a blonde running down halls. _Damn, this isn't how things are supposed to go!_ The teen thought bitterly, but as always, Near had a backup plan. He pushed a few buttons on several detonators and before a second could pass cries of agony filled his ears. The cries were spine-chilling, but Near was used to hearing such cries. He once remembered how B said that was his song playing. Near felt disgust as he remembered that, but kept his eyes on the monitors. Mello appeared confused as bodies lay around him. Near smirked. He grabbed a microphone and made sure it was turned on before speaking. "Mihael Keehl how have you managed to find my hideout?" he asked. Mello looked directly at the camera that time. Near saw rage and hate filled the blonde's blue orbs.

"It's easy when you work with idiots who don't make sure their victim is unconscious before dragging them off someplace!" the blonde snapped. "What have you done to Matt?" he demanded glaring scornfully.

"Don't worry, Mihael." Near giggled madly. "I'm taking good care of him."

Mello cursed before he continued to run down the corridors determined to save the redhead.

Near giggled madly as he watched Mello grab doorknobs only to receive a jolt of pain, because Near had secretly wired them from the other side of the room. It certainly was entertaining to watch, but he decided that he'd better make Matt cry soon because if Mello was there then L was sure to follow.

"Like Mary and her little fuckin lamb, L is sure to follow Mihael wherever he may go to find Matt." Near giggled childishly. Using the microphone again he spoke to the last three living men who were in the basement.

"There is an enemy in the building on floor six; he is considered armed and dangerous." He said twirling his hair, which he had dyed black. Near opened his mouth to say more, but paused to think over what he should do to Mello. With a cruel, evil smirk he knew what he had to do. "Release the hounds and kill him."

* * *

Matt was worried. His captor had been gone for a long, good part of an hour and that siren gave him a bad feeling, a horrible feeling. He felt as if death had walked in the building and had warned them to get out, but nobody would. Without realizing it someone stood over him. He jumped when a hand started to gently caress his face, as he had not expected such gentleness from the guy who said torturing him would be his passion.

"Wha-" he started.

"Don't say a word." Near interrupted sternly. "Not one word you idiot."

Matt obeyed much to both of their surprises, as he didn't intend to comply with the guy who held him captive and had said that torturing him would be his passion, but he did and Near hadn't thought Matt would be compliant to his orders and would have needed to be threatened or forced to keep his mouth shut.

The same icy hand caressed his face some more and he quickly felt someone straddle his waist. "Has Matt ever been raped before?" an emotionless voice asked softly. Matt felt his body instictively tense up at the question. He shook his head 'no' hoping that he wasn't about to get what he thought the teen was insinuating.

Luck just wasn't on his side. "Then this will be Matt's first time."

Before Matt could protest or do _anything_ to try and prevent what was to happen something, that the redhead quickly realized was a fist, landed heavily on his chest. He coughed. Gasping in some air he tried to struggle, but surprisingly he was being held down by someone who he guessed was _smaller _than he was. An ice-cold hand pulled his boxers down and tossed them aside. They landed in some random corner of the room. Matt whimpered and shivered as an icy hand stroked his member. He didn't want this, but his body strongly disagreed with his mind, which wasn't a surprise to him since his body always had hated what his mind wanted. Nails raked his hips making him mewl helplessly with pleasure. Matt didn't expect what happened next. It was such a good feeling, but at the same time, he _didn't_ want it. Once again making his body and mind disagree.

Looking down at the redhead Near studied the naked teen before him.

Matt was slightly bigger than he was but that was to be expected since he was also older. He twirled a black curl before he took Matt into his mouth and sucked for a minute or so. He bobbed his head and sucked faster, then slower knowing from his moans that it was torturing Matt. He suckled the head of Matt's penis before he moved away from that part of the redhead's body. The gamer's breathing had become heavy, no, Matt panted more than he _actually_ breathed. Not feeling very satisfied Near bit into the redhead's thigh. He earned a loud half scream, half moan for doing that. Wanting more reactions Near licked Matt's shaft and made sure to leave a couple (lots of) hickeys all up and down Matt's legs and around his throat as well. He wanted Matt to remember this for as long as he'd live.

He wanted to burn this into the gamer's mind. He wanted this to be in every one of Matt's nightmares. He wanted to make Matt wake up screaming in the middle of the night whimpering and sobbing. He wanted to scar Matt as deeply as Beyond Birthday had scarred him. Although, he knew, Beyond's scars were deeper in him because all that had been done to him happened to him at a tender, impressionable age. It hurt more because he had a lifetime of pain. Well, then, he'd give Matt all the pain he could. He was going to, in the very least, make Matt suffer. He was going to hurt him and make him bleed and hear him scream and he was going to enjoy it the best he could, which wasn't at all as much as Beyond would've enjoyed it.

It was only fair, Matt suffered, after all.

"Scream!" he ordered aggressively before he bit down on the elder male's left hip. He tasted blood after a moment or so. He moaned deeply, then started to suck and Matt started to moan, but the redhead refused to let his unshed tears show. He also refused to scream as Near had told him to.

That really pissed Near off.

The younger male bit down so hard on Matt's shoulder that blood seeped out. As B taught him he licked the blood away, slowly. _It's torture fo him if I take my time, then take him mercilessly and fast. _Near reminded himself as he felt his own erection ache for release. He sighed with frustration as he wished that he was being pleasured. Waving that thought away Near released Matt's shoulder and gave it a loving kiss. Matt whimpered and groaned. Near then drew nameless shapes across Matt's slender, yet well muscled chest when he grew bored. After he grew bored with _that_ he started to nip and lick at Matt's stiff nipples. The elder male groaned trying to hold back a pleasure filled scream that threatened to escape his throat. He was more than certain that it would only egg his captor on further.

Near was 100% certain that if he weren't blindfolded then Matt would definitely be glaring up at him.

He finally stopped his ministrations to listen to Matt's heavy breathing.

After a short while of listening to the heavy breathing Near decided he should continue. He let his ice cold hand touch and stroke Matt's erection. That seemed to be when the redhead lost it. And he screamed in pleasure making Near smirk satisfied. Near trailed butterfly kisses down Matt's face, then his throat and torso only ending once he finished kissing Matt's weeping length that was begging to be touched. Near mused to himself for a concise moment and he was shocked that Matt hadn't came yet. He realized that he'd been giving his victim too much attention and decided that he should just get on with the show before Matt did cum.

But wanted to play with him a bit more before he actually did penetrate him. He nibbled on Matt's ear and toyed with the gamer's goggles, which had been resting atop his head. Nibbling on his throat playfully Near seemed to have struck a nerve in Matt. "Stop it!" he cried out. Near smirked evilly.

A hand slapped his face hard enough to bust his lip. Blood dribbled down his chin. A tongue licked it away. Matt trembled not wanting that unwanted tongue licking his blood away, but was unable to resist much. "Now, it's time for the fun part." Near whispered seductively into Matt's ear. "Ready?" Matt whimpered shaking his head, but Near paid no attention to that as he pulled his own pants down. Not wearing any undergarments made things easier on the small boy who positioned himself between Matt's legs.

There was not any preparation, nor was there warning.

Near simply shoved into Matt up to the hilt forcing the redhead to scream in agony. Once he was adjusted to being inside the redheaded gamer he noted how greedy Matt's entrance took him in and from that point Near pounded into Matt keeping a brutal rhythm as he thrust in and out. He giggled unconsciously as blood oozed out from between the gamer's thighs. The redhead let out a choked wail as Near hit his prostate a few times, over and over. It was both pain and pleasure and Matt didn't want it but he was still refusing his urge to let tears fall from his eyes. It finally ended when they both came. It was blinding white.

Matt let out a cry of ecstasy, whilst Near released a single sigh of contentment and quickly pulled his pants back up. Still straddling the redhead Near stared down at the teen who refused to shed even a single tear. "Matt I think I know just what will make you cry…." he whispered letting his voice trail off as he let his hands wander about Matt's torso touching as much of him as he could.

He stopped everything he was doing and slowly crawled up until his face was directly above Matt's. He kissed the redhead gently and caressed his face lovingly. Matt recoiled and he stopped. Near placed his hands on either side of Matt's head and let his leg's on either side of Matt's waist. He could fill his knees as they touched Matt's hips. Near hummed softly. It was a lullaby from his childhood. Before Beyond entered his life, before Beyond Birthday raped and beat him and turned him into such a disgusting, evil creature. It was when he and Mello and Matt were together and happy. It was when he was a child with hopes, dreams and lots of love to give. He stopped his humming a second or so after he began remembering that he missed that part of his life, remembering that he'd give up anything and everything to have it back.

To have his innocence back, to have his childish hopes and dreams and friends back.

Tears escaped his large eyes as he knew that it was foolish to think that way. He'd never have any of that back. No matter how much he wanted it. He couldn't take back what he'd just done to Matt. Nothing could go back to the way it was. Not ever. Especially after what he'd just done to poor Matt. He wiped his tears away and fought back his sobs. He'd never forgive himself for this. He couldn't bear to live with this extra weight on his shoulders, but knew he could try, but he could never forgive himself for hurting Matt as he did.

Not ever.

He wiped away the last of his tears and regained his composure.

"Do you remember when you were a child?" Near asked speaking softly. "When your most precious friend would tug on your shirt-sleeve and ask you to sing him a lullaby, because of thunderstorms? Do you remember Matt? Do you remember how much he cried the last time you refused to sing him one? You probably told him to grow up and to stop acting like a mega, huge baby. That was the last chance you got wasn't it? To sing him to sleep? Do you regret it, Matt?"

"S-shut up!" Matt snapped. "You don't know anything about it so j-just s-shut up!"

"Beyond Birthday took him a few weeks after that night." Near whispered darkly glaring at Matt and slowly lifting a hand. "I _do_ know Matt. I was there when Beyond done as he did to your friend. I know of all that went on. I know of every word that was said and every tear that was shed as his virginity and mind was stripped from him as easily as his clothes were."

The redhead bit his lip causing it to bleed again.

He didn't care though.

"Y-you bastard…I-I hate you so much…." The gamer snapped letting his voice trail off. His voice was weak when he spoke, but Near didn't pay much attention to that. Matt was angry that much was certain but he was also distressed and in sorrow. And Near was stung deeply by his last few words. It felt as bad as twenty wasp stings; being Beyond's prisioner once let him know how badly that felt.

Near couldn't stand it anymore and he tore Matt's blindfold off.

* * *

Mello ran down the corridor hoping he wasn't too late to save his friend, but had a bad feeling that Matt was already gone. He just had that bad feeling nagging at him. Suddenly he heard barking and saw men who held guns ahead of him. The dogs were huge and appeared to be mutts. They looked a lot like hound dogs but were as big as saint bernards and had shaggy black and tan spotted fur and wore spiked collars.

Mello stopped running and raised his own weapon shooting two of the five dogs dead. The other three attacked him with no mercy. He felt teeth sink into his leg and shot a dog dead. The other two attacked him biting him, but killed them with ease.

The men were the harder ones to kill, but Mello killed them and went on his way, covered in blotches of blood, but not caring. He quickly found a large room that contained monitors and a few computers, but mostly monitors, which he guessed viewed everything. He pulled out his cell phone and quickly dialed L's cell phone number. He waited a full minute before he heard the detective answer.

"L this is Mello I've found Matt."

"And I've found your location. I'll be there shortly."

"Kay, but hurry up some crazy shit is going on around here!"

"Understood. I'll be there soon."

Mello closed his cell phone and put it in his back pocket. He looked on the monitors, which all seemed to have been frozen or on replay. What pissed his off was that he didn't know where any of the rooms were on any of the monitors, but he soon found the monitor that was frozen and shown an image that was sent there from the camera in Matt's cell. He stared in anger at the black haired teen, who he guessed was a boy. He wore what appeared to be a button down gray pajama top with dark gray pajama pants. The teen was straddling his friend's waist in the image.

He quickly went to a computer and began typing furiously. He smirked when it gave him access to the building's construction plans. Mello found the room quicker than he anticipated he would. Smirking the blonde took a chocolate bar from his pocket and bit off a corner before running out of the room and heading to save his best friend, who he hoped was going to still be, well, Matt when he found him.

_Hang in there buddy_, he thought hoping his thoughts would somehow reach the redhead, _help is on the way, just stay strong. If not for you, then for me cause I need you to stay you. So don't let that kid make you fall for his sick mind games._

_

* * *

_

****

**Hope ya liked it!**

I worked really hard on this and expect some good reviews!

**;^P**

**~Luv Fairylust~**


	6. Chapter 6

Too bad Mello's thoughts didn't reach Matt, because it was the encouragement the gamer was desperately needing at that moment. He stared wide-eyed at Near who gave him a sad little smile. He tenderly kissed the redhead's forehead. One of his icy cold hands removed his goggles. It seemed like the world had slowed down, because Matt saw everything in slow motion he watched as Near tossed his goggles across the room and watched as they hit the ground. As they broke tears slipped out of Matt's eyes.

He stared up at Near.

Despite the dyed hair and change of clothes and the change in his age Matt knew just by looking at his face that it was Near and he felt as though somebody had tore his heart out, stomped it into the dirt, gave it to an orangutan to chew on, then tossed it to some sharks who tore at it and finally smashed it to dust with a hammer. It just hurt badly. _How could it be? _He wondered not wanting to accept the reality of the matter. _He's dead! He's dead! No! This isn't Near! It can't be!_

"N-Near…." He muttered without realizing it, until the words had slipped from his lips. He was too shocked to say much else.

The younger boy nodded.

"Does Matt, still hate me?" he asked. "Do you love me, Matty?" Near asked smiling sadly, but speaking childishly. Matt didn't attempt to reply at all. The redhead didn't want to accept it. Why would he? It was just too horrible. He didn't want to believe that Near, who had once been a sweet, innocent, happy little kid had become a crazed killer, a monster, a rapist and worst of all Beyond Birthday's partner in crime. How could Near have been so innocent and sweet and have become _this_? Then a thought hit him that made him a bit hopeful.

"D-did he force you to do this? Please, Near, tell me w-was it Beyond w-who made you d-do all of this? Please, say 'yes'. Please, please, Near say none of this was your idea!"

Near looked away sheepishly, "I'm sorry Matty. I did all of this on my own accord. I didn't have to do any of this, but I _wanted_ to. I wanted you to feel my pain. Beyond Birthday hasn't forced me into anything, recently, that is. Beyond _wouldn't_ bother forcing me to dirty my hands with the likes of you. In his eyes you aren't worth the effort. He wouldn't have ordered, or forced me into this. Not with you. He only loved _me_."

"Loved you?"

"Yes. I was his and he was mine, but now he's gone."

"Near, he's fuckin brainwashed you!" Matt shouted forgetting about his aching body and grabbed a fistful of Near's recently dyed black curls. The boy winced but made no attempt to escape. "He made you this way! I just know it! Y-you would never…."

"Matt does not know me." Near said in an emotionless voice that had a hidden anguish behind it. "He does not know how I felt in B's embrace or when I had sex with him. Matt doesn't no anything about me, so how can he say that I would never do any of this?"

Matt felt sickened to his very core.

"And how did you felt?" Matt managed to ask as tears of rage drizzled from the corners of his eyes. "Tell me Near how did you feel when you were in that psycho killer's embrace?"

"Safe and loved."

"You're crazy!" Matt spat releasing Near. "You've gotta be mentally unstable to think that!"

"Perhaps or perhaps not." Near droned out emotionlessly. "Who is and isn't crazy Matt? Nobody really knows. People only assume that because others are different or act strange that they are crazy. How do you know that you aren't the crazy one? I may be the only sane one in this room, as far as you know."

"Shut up! That doesn't make sense! Just shut the hell up!"

"It does." Near whispered with anguish lacing his words. "It really does make sense, Matt. You just have to think about it a lot and then it all makes sense. You must _experiance_ it so that it makes sense."

_Why do you sound so sad all of a sudden?_ Matt asked silently, but then turned his thoughts back to what Near had said about him and Beyond.

"Beyond only thought of you as a sex toy." He said still holding anger in his tone. He looked at Near hoping the boy would believe at least one thing he said. "That's all he could've thought! Don't you get that?"

"No." Near replied brokenly. "Beyond said I was his dove. I was his love, his snowflake, his kitten and much more. I suppose the sick part is that I believe him."

"That's right! That is the sick part!"

"I am his, however, and I will always be his." Near said sorrowfully, but making sure he kept a poker-face. "I'm his precious little L only not as perfect as the real L. I can never be perfect like him. N is not L and L is not N, but B wants L so he has N."

"God, have you always been so naïve, Near? He's been using you!" Matt said trying desperately to get Near to believe him. Anger and feelings of betrayal suddenly took over Near's small frame and he landed a fist directly in the center of Matt's face. "Beyond loved me more than _you_ did!" he snapped and bit deep into Matt's collar bone.

The redhead cried out in agony.

"At least _he_ was there for me!" the boy growled pulling Matt's hair by the roots. Dissatisfied with Matt's weak hisses of pain he began slamming his head into the cot, before lifting it back up forcefully and repeating his action. "At least _he_ was honest! At least _he_ didn't betray me! At least _he_ didn't give me up to another killer! At least _he_ was able to make me feel things you never could, even if it was forced upon me like a damned curse! At least _he_ completed me and made my pain evaporate…if only for a short time."

His anger seemed to lessen, but only slightly. "S-stop!" Matt cried out as Near began to bite into his arm, but no Near couldn't stop, or to be more precise, he wouldn't stop. He was too angry, too blood thirsty to stop. "I-I hate you!" Matt shouted. All seemed to stand still then. Near stared down at him with widened eyes and then he began to kiss his victim's wounds.

He, Matt, didn't like it, none of it, at all. Near muttered something but the redhead couldn't understand what he'd said. He was too quiet. Matt hissed when a kiss was applied to an open wound and the younger started to lick at it. It felt weird. A few minutes later things were still and Near seemed to be emotionless again. "Things don't have to be this way." Matt whispered as Near toyed with a silky black curl. He mused silently to himself for a few silent minutes, then Near spoke.

"My innocence is gone. My childish dreams and hopes have been destroyed and I'm left to alone. I've become numb and only know pain. I cannot be touched or I'll fear. My existance has no meaning to me anymore, Matty. I have just one wish. Now that I'm an an evil, filthy creature the only wish I have is to die. Beyond never counted on that. On me completing my greatest dream. It's one of my best."

"No. It doen'st have to be." Matt protested weakly.

"I've another wish, Matty." he said softly palcing a kiss to Matt's forehead. "I wish that you'll be the one to kill me. If not you, then Mello or L. I'm no fool. I know that B has lied to me some in the past, but I don't know what is true and what is false. My mind is muddled and I just want someone to help me. I-I feel like I'm drowning. I don't want to feel this way, Matty."

"I'll toss you a rope, just please don't hurt any more people."

"I'll use that rope to hang myself."

"Near-"

"No!" Near protested before the redhead could try to persuade him some more. "I must live in my world of death and pain, because it's the only world Beyond let me have and I won't change that. i can't _change_ that. We're enemies, until someone dies."

"Things don't have to be that way."

"Yes it does." The younger said somberly sounding like he was ready to cry. "It's too late to turn back. It was, perhaps, always too late. I realized that the moment I gave in."

_Gave in?_ Matt raised an eyebrow as he thought of what Near was saying.

"Gave in to what?" he asked without realizing he'd asked aloud.

A kiss was placed on his lips, but it was teasing, tender and surprisingly enjoyable. Something dripped onto his face. He quickly realized Near was crying. He wanted to say something soothing or stroke the boy's curls and assure him things would turn out alright, but he couldn't and he wouldn't. Instead Near stroked his red hair and he took the detonator that had been lying beside the bed and placed it gently in Matt's hand.

He forced the hand into a fist and kissed it knowing it would surely lead to his death. Near stroked Matt's hair once more, before he got up and disappeared leaving the redhead in an empty room and with a decision he didn't want to make.

A couple minutes later Mello burst into the room.


	7. Chapter 7

Matt sobbed loudly. Mello stared at him in concern. Hurrying to his friend's side he listened as Matt sobbed his whole story out. Mello was pissed and tempted to push that red button, but Matt begged him not to, and as though it were a dying wish Mello complied. It was unwilling, but he complied.

"Don't worry Matt L will catch that little psycho." Mello said assuring his friend. "Wait and see. He will."

* * *

Near sat quietly in his room, which reeked of death, dried blood, burnt rubber and strangely a hint of vanilla. He didn't know why. It just did, but the corpses and burning rubber tires were cause for the first few smells.

Maybe it was that white colored ice cream smeared all over the walls beginning to smell along with the blood and dark colored ink. He was unsure. He just concentrated on his dice as he stacked them. He looked to a young man who stared at him. He was Chinese and his dark eyes were glazed by death, but frozen in fear. Near was the lion in this room and the man was only prey. He made the mistake of entering. Death was certain the second he stepped inside. Near ignored his corpse after a minute to stack dice. The big metal door abruptly opened. A man entered quietly, but Near knew who had entered.

"Greetings L." he said with a bitter hatred. "Nice of you to visit."

"Near." The detective greeted feeling sympathy for the boy. He looked about the room with distaste and wrinkled his nose in disgust at the smell. "Oh, Near."

"Do you like what I did to the place? A few missing people here and there, but it gives this place a more lively look." He giggled at his little joke. Near was quick to compose himself. "I suppose you're here to arrest me? To question me? To wonder if I'm really who I claim to be? Like you did with Beyond after he was sent to the hospital."

"Near," L said firmly, "your sick. You need help and I believe I can get you that help if you just-"

"Come with you?" Near finished bitterly. "I would be safe. I wouldn't get hurt anymore. I would be…happy…." He suddenly felt anger bubble to the surface he kept himself composed, though. "If people know of the things I've done…they'd lock me up…and throw away the key."

L shifted slightly, but said nothing.

"If I am imprisoned then N does not equal A and that would make L greater than B _and_ N together, therefore my existence would be meaningless, however, you would still have M and M so if I were to cease living they would still be your pampered favorites."

"Near," L said sternly, "you are _not_ A. BB was depressed and driven to madness by his death and has perhaps made you believe that you _are_ A, but he is dead. You cannot be someone you are not. You have been tortured and shaped into something we both know you hate, because BB needed a replacement for the one he loved and lost." He paused watching Near as he tensed up. "You have been used." He concluded.

"I know." The younger said flatly.

L listened trying hard to ignore the smells around him.

"I know all of that. The sad part is that I had a chance to leave, but I…I just couldn't…he's my master and…and…BB can't leave me…he's still here, you know…talking to me in my head…." That statement was all it took to convince the detective that the poor boy had lost his mind, not his gifted intelligence, but his sanity.

"Near you may have BPD." L said softly, quietly. "You do not wish to be abandoned therefore you are refusing to believe BB has left you on your own."

Near kept a grim silence as he listened. L continued, "You're alternating between admiration for Beyond and depression for what he did to you. You're both mentally and emotionally unstable that is certain. I can only guess you've been having recurrent suicidal behaviors and times of impulsivity, but I'm certain you've been having intense, reoccurring anger. I can see you're angry now, but are holding it back. You were always a stoic one, Near." He paused to take a look around. "Your thoughts must be paranoid and strained to have killed all of your subordinates and to have taken Matt hostage and I am positive you've been having inadequate thoughts of yourself."

"No. Matt. It was a mistake you were the one who was to get taken. Not Matt."

"That is a lie." L said darkly. "You told the kidnapper to take the young man he saw in the apartment. If you were monitoring us carefully then you would know that Mello and I left Matt alone. You told the kidnapper that he made a mistake, but in truth he did not. You killed the kidnapper having paranoid thoughts about him betraying you, about him harming Matt in a sexual fashion before bringing him to you. It wasn't true but it was what you wished to believe. You had Matt kidnapped purposefully."

"That is a…clever deduction…L…." he said sullenly.

"You decided to take Matt hostage, perhaps, as a way to see your childhood friend again and hope that it would bring back your innocence or, more likely, so you could torment him with the truth of what you've become. You know, from visiting Beyond in the hospital, that Matt and Mello were upset by knowing of your death, but you wanted to torment them at a different angle. So you took Matt, tortured him and reveled your identity. It crushed him, didn't it?"

"Yes."

"Just as I thought." L said shoving his hands into his jeans pockets. "After you finished with him you regretted what you done, because you realized that you had become no better than Beyond. You were the same as the monster in all of your nightmares. I trust that knowing that you gave Matt a choice to kill you. You've probably deducted that since he is in anguish mentally, emotionally, and physically that he would kill you as revenge. So you came here to live your last moments, but Near…you are wrong…."

Near stared at the ground as he realized that all L had said was true. He did have Borderline Personality Disorder. He _was_ crazy. He _did_ kidnap Matt purposefully. He _did_ kill that man, because he felt he harmed Matt, because he felt that the man was plotting against him. He killed everyone around him, all of his victims, because of some form of misery or fury, because of some form of _insanity_.

Near thought it all over and knew that L was correct. Matt would not kill and Mello, if he bothered to, listened to what the redhead had to say, then the blonde wouldn't try to kill him either. They were cruel in a kind way. His plans were ruined as far as he was concerned, but with L in his presence, possibly, maybe, perhaps, he had an edge.

"I-I want it to end." He said trembling suddenly. It felt very cold. "I just want this all to end. I can't take it. It must end."

"Yes," L agreed. "It must."

"BB won't like this." Near said choking slightly. "H-he's gonna be so mad at me."

"He won't hurt you Near. Not any more." L promised taking a step closer. That was when Near seemed to lose it. He burst out into crazy giggles. Wild laughter. He then started to scream with rage and cry loudly displaying the signs of hysteria. His tugged at his black curls shaking his head. His pale skin glowing eerily in the dim light just like L's skin was. Near calmed himself after a couple minutes.

"Near, please, tell the truth when I ask you my next question." L said gently once Near was calmed down and back to his stoic state. "Is the device inside you…or is it inside Matt? I must know."

Near felt his lips curl into a childish smirk. "You just love ruining my surprises." He said quietly. "It is _not _inside of Matt nor myself." He confessed.

This confused L. "What do you mean?" then realization hit him. His dark eyes widened slightly, then became half-lidded. "You didn't." he muttered.

"I _did_."

There was a deathly silence for several moments.

"It is inside of Mello, close to his heart." Near explained languidly. "I led Matty to believe I was suicidal enough to put one of my own devices inside of myself. Iwas such a good actor that I forgot that I was acting after a while, but after taking a good, long look at my chest I knew I was acting and remembered what happened."

"Why-" L started but was cut off by the balck haired youth.

"So if he pushed the button…Mello would die…and he'd know it was his entire fault. No, I simply lived with planning my own personal suicide after all this was over. Maybe I'd slit my wrists or cut my jugular vein open so I bleed out. I wanted to make Matty suffer. Perhaps, to a breaking point. Anyway, I suppose you are correct in thinking I'd have put it inside Matt or myself, but no, I put it inside my childhood crush. Notice the word '_crush_'."

Near swiped a hand into his dice tower making dice shower down onto him and all around him. "Now that that business is finished I assume you wish to take me prisoner now." He said softly standing a sly light filling his soulless near black eyes.

L shook his head. "No. This is where you attempt to trick me and kill me, but I see through your trick. This, Near, is where we fight and you lose. It is where I show you why I am your mentor and you my student."

"You know me like a book and we have never even met, how…lovely." Near muttered in an irritated, yet sarcastic tone. He then glared at the ground angrily as he took a deep calming breath and stood up.

_It is almost time for our secret to come out, Beyond._ He thought with bitterness.

"Very well." He said grabbing a box, which was lying close by him. "L," he said scornfully turning to face the elder man, "did you know I like to play darts? I do. It is…pleasant…." He said the last word as though it were the most disgusting thing in the world. L watched him curiously, cautiously.

"So, would you like to play a game of darts with me?" Near asked looking towards L, but then looked at something above his head. "Hmm, would you like to play a game with me Lawliet?"

This took L by total and complete surprise.

_How does he know my real name?_ He wondered suddenly. _We never met and I never told anyone my name. Never. Only one man knows my name, but Whammy has nothing to do with this. How does Near know my name? How?_

L watched the boy's movements carefully. The smirk he wore was conceited. No, it was devilish, almost evil yet it was childish at the same time. It was like one of Beyond's smug smirks. And it was unnerving. Near smiled softly as he opened the box of darts and pulled one out. The sharp silvery point was aimed at L and Near smirked. "What do you say, Lawliet?"

There was only silence.

* * *

Elsewhere, Beyond Birthday sat in his cell bandaged and silent.

He chuckled silently to himself as he raised a hand to his eyes and removed the contacts he had been wearing. He blinked once. His near black eyes stared off into the darkness of the cell. His once red eyes were gone. BB smirked as he thought about how nobody noticed. He sure fooled people quite easily. Nobody even noticed that he was wearing contacts. Not the doctors or the ambulance drivers not the guards or psychoanalysts, not even L himself. He covered one eye with his hand and giggled.

_Nate was the only one who knew…._ He thought chuckling to himself. _He's the only person who could tell, but then again…it was his idea…._

He cackled loudly letting his insanity show freely since he was put away where nobody else would be bothered with him. He felt alone, but knew that if things went as he suspected they then Near would come to get him out soon. He had no choice.

Near was BB's slave mind, heart, body, and soul.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mello ran down the halls closing in on L and Near. He'd left Matt, who said that he'd catch up, to disarm the detonator. Mello decided that he should find Near and began to follow his trail as soon as he left. It was easy since he literally left clues. Dice and cards were here and there letting him know where to go, so it was quite easy. He passed corpses and bloodied halls. The blonde saw the state poor Matt was in and knew not to take Near lightly, but he couldn't stop trying to convince himself that it wasn't Near. He tried to convince himself otherwise, but it wasn't his fault.

When Mello thought of Matt's description and of the memories he possessed, nothing made sense. How could a small, white ball of fluff that was sweet and innocent and timid grow into a short, black/gray ball of fluff that is bitter and malicious and bold? It just didn't make any sense, but when Mello reminded himself that there was a gap, which Near had spent with Beyond Birthday, then he started to think it all made perfect sense.

_This is all BB's fault._ He thought running down a corridor_. Near wouldn't have turned out like this if he had not snatched him. I hope that bastard rots in Hell for this._

The blonde just hoped that things weren't as bleak as they truly seemed.

* * *

"Do you wish to know my secret, Lawliet?" Near purred the name in a sickly sweet way that made L shudder. "It's been kept between Beyond and me, but I think you should know what we did. It was really, really amusing." He spat out the word 'amusing' resentfully. L saw his eyes flash dangerously for a moment, before they returned hollow.

L watched silently as the boy lowered his head. He moved a hand to his eyes and after a moment let his hand fall to his side. He backed off slowly until his body was hidden in the shadows. L became suspicious instantly. The next thing he knew red eyes appeared from the darkness staring at him. Then came the awful, inhuman laughter. It reminded L of B's laughter, but this wasn't as harsh. It was softer, much, much softer.

"Near what did he do to you?" L gasped realizing that Near had been wearing contacts and his eyes were truly the same red color as Beyond's had been. "Your eyes…."

"They were taken from me." Near said sadly. The red eyes flashed with anger. "B liked them. He kept going on and on and on about how they were like your eyes. He wanted them, so taht he would be more like you. He kept going on about how if we traded eyes then we would not appear so strange. he pressured me for months on the matter. He kept telling me taht it was normal for albinos to have red eyes, so after some time I consented. I was a child. Ten years old, to be exact, and I was a fool at that age for I made many, many mistakes. I only wanted to make him happy, so I allowed a transplant and when I woke up…those numbers…those _awful_ numbers were there. BB tricked me. He got my nice, _normal_ eyes and gave me these horrid things!"

L cringed a bit unused to the anger Near shown. "It does not matter though." Near said more calmly, apathetically. "It is just one of the many thing he stole from me. Just one."

"…."

"Not surprised, eh?"

"No." he replied quietly. "Beyond is sick. You've only confessed to me, yet _another_, one of his sick actions."

"Hmm, I guess so, but enough chatter. I want to see you bleed."

Without warning a dart came out of the darkness. L ducked but not in enough time. The dart nicked his shoulder. If he had not moved it would have been stuck deep in there. He was lucky and felt so. Another dart came and another he dodged them, but couldn't dodge the fourth one he didn't see coming. It embedded itself into his stomach, not deep enough to puncture organs, but deep enough to draw a good bit of blood. L groaned as he pulled it out. He then noticed Near standing over him with a knife in one hand.

"L. Lawliet you die today!" he declared raising the knife.

That was when Mello appearing in the doorway to the room. His eyes widened in horror as he saw the knife blade go into L's chest. A cry escaped his throat without him realizing it. Scarlet red blood appeared all over L's chest. The detective's eyes went wide in shock as the scarlet red stained the front his white t-shirt.

A gunshot rang out and Near fell to the ground with a cry of pain.


	8. Chapter 8

Near sat on the ground pouting. "You didn't have to shoot me." He said holding his arm, which bled lightly. L recovered from the shock of being stabbed by a fake knife that produced fake blood stood staring down at the young boy. "Why did you do that?" he asked in a monotone voice. Near smirked and giggled, then glared at him, before going back to his black face. L turned to Mello who appeared sympathetic, angered and confused all at once. "Is Matt okay?" he asked.

"Please, Lawli, you can call him Mail!" Near chuckled in a sing-song voice. "Mail and Lawli sitting with Mihael hoping to get something that wouldn't be real, but they can't help but to steal a kiss from BB who is full of zeal!"

"Shut up!" the blonde snapped.

Near opened his mouth ready to speak.

"Shut up!" Both Mello and L snapped in unison.

Near snickered. He'd found their weak spot. "I just wanted to annoy people." He said cutely. "Mello is Mihael in disguise, but Mail is Matt and he's getting high! L let's his brains fry, so there goes Mihael getting high!" He burst into fits of laughter, then went stoic again thinking of what he should do next now that he convinced these two he was absolutely bonkers.

"We've got to get him institutionalized." Mello muttered.

"Agreed." L said with a nod. "Mello I want you to keep a hold of him. I am going to call for reinforcements." L said before he left the room. Mello nodded pulling the boy to his feet. Near blinked his eyes wandering to Mello's real name. He smirked. He knew just how to toy with the blonde, now that they were alone.

"Mihael's numbers are high."

"You're crazy."

"Whose to say I am?" Near snapped angrily. "You're the crazy one! I'm sane! I'm sooooo damn sane that I know how insane you are!"

"Yeah, sure." The blonde said sarcastically rolling his eyes.

"I hate you! Hate you!" Near yelled angrily kicking his feet in the air like a little child would when they didn't get their way. Mello winced slightly noticing that more blood leaked from his bullet wound. Near began yelling a lot of gibberish in Russian making Mello sigh exasperatedly.

"You're sick. You don't mean anything you say."

Near stuck his tongue out at the blonde who rolled his eyes silently hoping L would be back soon. He didn't know how much more of the crazed albino he could handle. And those red eyes…the way they stared at him…it made him uncomfortable. Sad sobs were then heard, echoing off the walls of the gory room. The blonde looked to the younger male curiously. Near had his face covered by his palms. "You…y-you hate me!" he cried loudly. Mello didn't respond. He didn't know if this was trick or not.

"Y-you hate me just like Matty hates me! Ненависть!" He wailed loudly.

There was a brief silence where all Mello heard was Near's ragged breathing. "Stop hurting me!" he suddenly yelled. There was the sound of someone getting slapped. Mello looked down to see Near hitting himself. "Stop hitting me, Mello!" he yelled pleadingly. He hit himself until bruises blossomed. The blonde tried to make him stop, but Near fought back. They struggled and eventually got a hold of the gun. Mello wrestled it away from him though and it got lost in a mass of corpses when Near tossed it away from Mello. Near looked in that direction jokingly, smiling like a small child would on Christmas morning.

"Mello want to retrieve his weapon?"

"No." he growled angrily.

"Does Mello want to have sex?" Near asked innocently. The blonde looked to him stunned by the question, which caught him off guard. "Does Mello want to?" the albino asked keeping up his innocent act. "It'll be fun." He added with a smirk. The blonde shook his head clearing his thoughts.

He didn't want to answer, but knew he could have sex with someone who wouldn't kill him, so the answer was an easy 'no'. He scowled at the younger male, before giving a snide remark and ignoring him. Near pouted and then began to beat himself up again wailing like the blonde was trying to kill him, then to Mello's surprise the albino kicked him in his chest like L and then he bolted for the door. The blonde aimed his weapon at the fleeing boy, but didn't have it in him to pull the trigger. He just couldn't do it.

Running as fast as he could Near didn't stop for a second, but then he heard a loud gunshot and the next thing he knew he was in pain and falling down a stair case. He was falling and falling, down, down, down into the horrible darkness below.

When he hit the ground all went black.

By the time he came to he was tied up tightly to a chair. He struggled to get free, but couldn't. He began to scream and yell in anger and confusion. Near ignored the fact he was wearing white and that all the black dye had been washed from his hair. He just concentrated on escaping. He finally stopped screaming, stopped feeling angry.

When that happened he felt helpless and afraid. Tears ran down his face as he knew BB would be really angry with him for getting caught. Near knew he'd get beaten again when his mentor found out that he allowed L to catch him. He was, in all honesty, more afraid of BB then of anyone else at the moment or maybe it was B who had caught him. He suddenly remembered what happened the last time B had had him tied to a chair. He shuddered wishing he wasn't there anymore.

"D-don't hurt me…." He whimpered to nobody in particular. "P-please don't hurt me."

A while passed and nothing happened. He became angered again. Near yelled some more and swore in all shades and colors until his throat was sore. He fell asleep a while later too tired to keep awake. When he awoke he was still tied up, but this time he was blindfolded. He didn't do anything and didn't feel anything. Near sighed letting his head loll to the side. It was the most boring few hours of his life. Then a door opened and he tensed up. "Whose there?" he asked warily trembling. "BB?"

"No." someone replied in a harsh whisper. "I am worse than Beyond Birthday."

Near let out a scream as he felt something sharp cut into his hand.


	9. Chapter 9

"Okay, so we lost Near and we aren't going to blame anyone." L said calmly watching as the police and medics ran around like crazy. "Mello!" Matt fake-coughed. Mello gave him a sharp glare that made him roll his eyes. L shook his head disproving of their immature behavior. "But on the bright side maybe B would know where he's at. Matt can be the one to convince him." He said so Mello would not kill Matt altogether.

"What? No!"

"Why not?"

"You know why not!"

"Oh, because you were raped by Near?"

He nodded fearfully. "H-he's just a copy of B!"

"No," L disagreed, "he seems to be much worse than Beyond in the sense that he's more intelligent and he doesn't use his emotions, but mind to think of plans, therefore disregards human lives to get where he needs to. Those devices are proof enough that he reasoned using them would lure us in and silence his witnesses."

"That's just worse!" Matt whined.

"L just reassign the cry baby." Mello said teasingly. "It'd do him good to do something minor."

"Fine, then _I'll_ talk to him." L said with a sigh. "Whoever took Near, more than likely, has a score to settle with Beyond. But since he is locked away they took Near, instead and being as unstable as he is his actions are unpredictable."

Mello bit his lip. "If I hadn't shot him in his shoulder he wouldn't have fell down those stairs." He said feeling guilt eat away at him. "And that creep in camo wouldn't have gotten him. Damn!" he slammed a fist against the steel of the wall beside him feeling frustrated. Matt hugged him and pouted when the blonde shoved him away.

"It isn't your fault Mels, like hell you knew some other crazy bastard was after him." He said sternly. He knew the blonde needed the support.

"Agreed." L said with a curt nod.

_I hope he's still alive when we find him_, Mello thought to himself scowling.

**~TIME SKIP!~**

"Where am I?" Near mumbled. He felt dizzy, and his vision was blurry. "You're tied down to a bed, obviously." Matt replied from his position across the room. Near groaned finally feeling better and awake. "Where the hell am I?" he asked hollowly letting his head loll to the side where he saw Matt sitting in a chair. A shotgun was lying across his lap. Near eyed it suspiciously. "Don't worry that is just in case you escape and try to attack." The redhead said. Near noticed he also had a knife and two pistols close to his chair. Near tried to sit up, but was restrained. He noticed that there were some kind of trap beside the bed. He asked Matt about it and the redhead was willing to give him an answer.

"Those are mouse, rat and bear traps. It's just another precaution."

"You think too much of me, its overkill to have all of this, am I really that _big_ of a threat?" Near chuckled dryly.

There was no humor. Matt didn't respond he just grunted a reply. "You can really rip someone open." Matt said after a while. He shown Near a few stitches he had to get on his arm where Near had bitten him. The albino seemed unaffected. He just hummed some, but other than that was rather indifferent. A certain blonde, who was to switch positions with him every two to three hours, called Matt out of the room. There was no conversation between the blonde and albino. It was just silence.

Then Matt came in and Near spoke.

"When will I be sent to an asylum?"

"You won't."

"Why?"

"Because L and Mello have a theory that you'll be put in the same asylum as BB. If that happens they figure you'll attempt to contact Beyond and you'll both plan an escape. Then we'll have to serial killing psychos on the loose."

"Beyond isn't crazy." Near said emotionlessly. "He may be a killer, but he isn't crazy. Murder is an art and it is something he mastered. Me, yes, I am crazy. BB is a genius and acts insane so that he has an excuse to do immoral acts and get away with them in a court of law. Crazies are not put on death row. They are tossed in an asylum and forgotten until they make an escape. If being crazy sounds as ingenious as that then, yes, I suppose BB could be called crazy."

"You're twisting things again."

"What do you mean?"

"One minute you're admiring him, then the next you hate him. You keep changing sides."

"Yes. It seems I am. But I am not on Beyond's side. I am on _my _side and nobody else's."

"Yeah, sure, is that why you were chewing your arm to pieces when we found you?"

Near looked at his arm and noticed that it was bandaged up, pretty tightly, but not so much that it hurt. He sighed shaking his head. "I do not remember that." He said blankly letting his voice remain void of any feeling. He pulled at his bindings slightly, but knew he was tied too tight to get away. "So," Near sighed, "what are you gonna do with me?"

"What do ya mean?"

"It'd be unreasonable to let someone, like myself, stay tied up in some room, when there is a chance that I might escape."

"Nah, even if you were untied you wouldn't escape." Matt said shaking his head. "You have no idea how many traps we've got set up."

"I've seen it all Matt. Even if you had a net outside the door I'd be sure to avoid it. I just hope you didn't do something stupid, like set a trap that is invisible to the eye until it's too late and you're caught. You've no idea how many idiots walk into those."

There was a loud yelp of pain from some other room around that point. Near gave Matt a questioning look. "Why the hell do you gotta be right?" Matt whined leaving the room. Near smirked he started to bite and chew at the rope, which tied his wrists to the bed's headboard. He let out a small hiss of pain when the bindings finally broke. It was a relief to have them off. He sat up wincing a bit. He looked around the bed to see the mouse and bear traps ready for him. Taking a deep breath Near jumped on the bed until he was almost touching the ceiling, then he leapt off and landed gracefully in a crouching position away from the horrible traps. From there he peeked outside the door.

When he saw nobody he took a deep breath and closed the door. It was just too risky to walk out. Near ran over to where Matt had been sitting, as he saw an air vent directly above that chair. It was quite easy for him to open it and climb into the system. He made it to the end of the line and exhaled as he removed the covering and fell into the arms of a familiar blonde, instead of hitting the floor of the hall. "You really shouldn't have done that." Mello said as he carried a struggling Near back to the apartment.

"Now, you know as well as I do, that we have to tie you up even tighter." The blonde said frustrated as he strolled into the bedroom. Near noticed that most of the traps had been set off. "And poor Matty got himself all sorts of hurt now." Mello said with frustration as he handcuffed Near's wrists to the metal bars of the headboard. He gave the boy a small smirk before heading off to attend to the wounded idiots.

"So you admit that L-"

"No, I'm talking about Matt and the idiot doctor, Matsuda, who came by to see you. You were beat up really badly by that psychopath, but he's dead now, so no worries about him coming back. Now, I want you to listen to me when I say that Matt and me are determined to help you."

Yelling from the other room made silence creep in between the albino and the blonde, which wasn't too bad of a problem, seeing as they currently disliked each other on different levels. "You're sick as we all know, but we're gonna help you get better." There was a pause when Near rolled his eyes and stared off into space instead of paying Mello attention. "Look at me when I talk twerp." The blonde hissed angrily.

Near glared angrily at the blonde before turning his off to the side stubbornly. "Fine, be that way, but I tell Matt when and when not to feed you, so keep that in mind." Mello threatened. Near huffed silently glaring at the blonde. "I'd rather starve than be here with the likes of you." He finally said before spitting in the chocoholic's direction.

Ignoring the albino Mello turned on his heel and left out of the room. He slammed the door behind him too angry to really care if it tore down Near's being or not. Matt lay on the couch as Matsuda who was also bandaged pulled some mouse traps off him.

"Now, don't you worry some vodka will make things better." The doctor assured. Matt groaned noticing that Mello was watching. The doctor, meanwhile, cried out in pain as he accidentally stuck himself with a needle. "Oh, well, I-I am sure that that will be okay." He said before trying to get another trap off the poor redhead. Matt screamed in agony as a bear trap was pried off his leg. "Told you that you would regret setting those traps." L said as he continued watching the doctor pull traps off Matt.

A few seconds later as Matsuda was pulling the last trap off Matt, which just so happened to have been latched tightly, very painfully, around his arm, Matsuda fainted. It wasn't passing out, but fainting. Mello stared wide-eyed as he realized that the idiot must have taken a shot of painkillers, which were also a sleeping aid. L, also coming to the same conclusion nudged Matsuda with his foot.

"He may be dead, Matt, which means you'll have to stay like that until we get another doctor." L said without much interest. The redhead whined pathetically as he realized that the panda-eyed detective was being serious.

"Or maybe Matt could remove it himself." Mello mumbled to L feeling annoyed. "He knows some stuff about what and what not to do when something is clamped around his arm. Remember what happened when he-"

"We all remember!" Matt yelled more to distract himself from the pain than to actually show anger towards his best friend.

"You catch Near before he escape?" L questioned.

"Yep." Mello nodded with a sigh. "He almost got away though."

"We'll have to strengthen the security then it'll be a real bother." L said sounding more annoyed than anything else. "No need." Mello said with a negligent smirk. L gave him a questioning look, meanwhile Matt simply stared at him puzzled and dazed. Mello kept a long silence before finishing. He just felt like he had to add tension to the moment. It just gave his answer that dramatic effect he was aiming for. And both L and Matt knew that the blonde loved being brazen _and_ at the same time impressive.

"I'll take care of everything." He said letting a more evil smirk grace his features.


	10. Chapter 10

Phew! Sorry I haven't updated lately. Been sick and feelin down and I've had school work. I just gave up the whole poll thing, so sorry it took so long. Please, enjoy, but I am sorry if there are grammatical errors or if the thoughts aren't italized like I inteneded them to be, but ya know how things are. My computer is acting screwed up, so the italics don't work so well, heck I was lucky to get this first part of the story italized correctly.

As I said before sorry and please do enjoy.

**~Fairylust~**

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Near could feel his stomach churning and his eyes tearing up once more. His wrists hurt badly and his ankles were bleeding. He was sure that the claw marks on his legs and back was beaded by blood, as well. Usually, the white haired boy could hide behind his stone wall of emotionlessness and not let anything leak through, however, it was times such as these, times where Beyond lost his temper, or was having a bad day, or was just his sadistic self, that made Near want to cry until he was drained of tears, but sadly once the tears started it seemed as though there was no end to them. He silently noted that the floor was colder than it usually was beneath his socked feet. Near shivered as a draft of air came from behind him. BB must have left the window open_, he thought to himself._

_Although Beyond had his caring moments those were rather fleeting if BB was set off by something. Lately, the red-eyed psycho had been acting strange, well, stranger than he usually acted. Near couldn't escape, he knew that, so he forced himself to tell himself that despite the cruelty and abuse he loved Beyond nonetheless._

"_Has Nate learned his lesson?"_

"_Y-yes."_

"Is he ready to apologize."

"Ye-yes."

"Then apologize." he hissed sounding strangely apathetic. "Apologize to me, Nate."

"I am so-sorry f-for arguing with you, plea-please let me go."

"Are you in pain?" Beyond cooed in a sickeningly sweet fashion, but Near knew he was taunting him. "Do you hurt?"

"Ye-yes."

"_Will you promise to behave yourself if I untie you?"_

"_Y-yes, yes, please, please untie me."_

"_No crying?"_

"_No crying." Near promised. "I'll be a good boy." he added in a voice that wasn't above a whisper._

"_Good." He said sounding like he was in a good mood. "You're a very good boy, Nate."_

_Near made a mental note to not do anything that would displease Beyond. He didn't want to get punished again. His body was sore and aching and he felt rather lightheaded. Near felt the elder male's pale hands untie his wrists and then his ankles. The albino sniffed wiping the remaining tears away. He stood up hoping to be able to go get some sleep in his room, but as always, Beyond had other plans._

_Cradling Near's face in his hands, Beyond smiled, being abnormally gentle with the younger male, who wondered what put him into such a mild mood. Beyond brought their pale lips together, softly slipping his tongue into Near's mouth. Near gasped at the tenderness of the kiss. It was so different than what he usually had to put up with. _

_It was not vindictive or harsh, but full of lust and warmth. Their tongues didn't battle for dominance, as they usually did, but instead, moved together in a deliberate fashion. Near had to give B credit, seeing as he actually knew how to use tenderness when the mood struck him. Near shuddered as hands moved down to the hem of his white cotton pants ready to get on with the show. Near realized that the softness was now gone. _

_But he had to admit that it was nice while it had lasted._

* * *

"Hey, wake up!" Mello shouted as he watched the small boy writhe in his sleep. His face contorted in agony as he slept, but that just made the blonde want to wake him up even more. It seemed as though the poor albino was trapped in his own personal hell and couldn't escape. "Near! Hey Near! Wake the hell up!" he shouted starting to wonder if he should really be waking the albino.

Yes. he told himself. The younger teen woke with a start letting a fearful cry escape from deep within his throat. The screams didn't stop until sleep had cleared from his eyes and he realized he wasn't with a strange, malicious, psychopath anymore, but was being held prisoner by Mello and his friends, who were all, probably, wanting to punish him for his sins.

And he'd committed a lot of sins.

Oh, joy. He thought bitterly after he let his eyelids slip shut halfway. Mello shuddered as Near's eyes glowed in the dimly lit room like two rubies against silvery moonlight.

"What do you want?" Near mumbled. He didn't sound annoyed as Mello thought he would. In fact, he didn't sound anything, but blank. The blonde was silent as he studied the small boy's blank face. It was as though all the hostility and defiance had been sapped from his small figure. Mello was sure that he was ready to surrender, as he wasn't even trying to struggle against his bonds anymore. The thought would have pleased anyone else, but it just made the blonde feel hollow.

"I was just wondering if you're ready to act right." Mello lied knowing he had really came in to lecture him about getting Matt hurt and trying to escape and all that other stuff that had happened hours ebfore. But now he just couldn't even think of scolding poor, little Near. He just seemed so helpless.

"I will act as I act not as you want me to act."

"I thought you'd say something like that." Mello said scowling. How could Near be so stubborn? "That's why I brought these." The blonde genius said holding up handcuffs and some sort of silver-colored anklet. "I'm going to let you go, but we're going to be spending a lot of time together." Mello said matter-of-factly, as he put the anklet-like thing around Near's left ankle, and then handcuffed both of their wrists. Near tilted his head interested, as to what Mello had put around his ankle. He gave Mello a look of curiosity and confusion.

"It's a tracking device." He explained. "If you get loose then we'll be able to find you and if you attempt to remove it you'll receive a rather painful shock. It's mostly used on criminals and suspects, but you're an exception."

You seem to always be an exception, especially when it comes to the greater things life has to offer. The blonde thought gloomily. Near could sense a trace of sadness on Mello's face and was instantly puzzled. Why was he sad? He wasn't the one who lost everything and was being monitored like a filthy, diseased creature. "Am I?" Near couldn't help but to mutter sounding dazed as he stood up to stretch his numbed muscles.

"Yes." Mello replied nodding. His tone was soft, but Near winced a bit hearing the reply to his question, which he didn't think would have been answered. Looking from his wrist to Near's Mello wondered if this was the best idea. There were other alternatives weren't there? Yes, but perhaps this was the best. It was a gut-feeling Mello got, but he knew that the albino was dangerous and very clever. As he turned his attention back to Near's face he saw, for the briefest of moments, a shattered child that was afraid of everything and angry at everyone in the world. I can fix this. He told himself feeling anger towards Beyond. I know I can fix what he broke. It's just not gonna be easy. And hopefully I can watch BB get the death penalty.

Why did he have to screw around with Near's life? Couldn't he have chosen someone else or was he just that cruel? Was Beyond's aim to really hurt L by claiming one of his successors or was that just more lies? What was the truth and what wasn't? Was Near just a replacement for Beyond's lost friend/lover, as L had suspected? What did he gain from any of this? Did Beyond intend for all of this chaos to ensue or was Near merely a pawn that he secretly manipulated?

Shaking away all the questions Mello knew he could help Near.

He just needed time.

"Come on," he said keeping his tone strong, so he tugging Near forward a bit, "you should see L and Matt. They've been wanting to talk to you."

"I raped him." Near mumbled gloomily. "I hurt people, all the time."

"Matt? Ah, don't worry yourself about that. It's over and done with. I mean, he's a tad uncomfortable about you being around, but overall I think he forgives you for what you did. He knows you aren't...well...how should I say this...sane? Anyway, as for the latter, Near, it's not your fault. Beyond forced you into hurting people. You didn't have any say in the matter. You were forced into it."

"Beyond didn't hold a knife to my throat." the albino said in his monotone voice. "My life wasn't threatened, so that means I did everything of my own free will."

"Shut up." The elder hissed. "Just shut up, Near. He did force you into it, because he forced you to be afraid of him, afraid of failing him, of displeasing him. You don't know what you're talking about when you say it was your own fault. If it was, then I'm a flying raccoon who eats chocolate and can freeze things with my mind."

Near didn't respond, but there was a depressed look about him.

As soon as they were in the living room of the apartment the atmosphere became thick with tension and unease. L was the first to speak, thus he was the one who broke said tension.

"You seem to be all right. Does your eyes hurt?" he asked in his usual monotone voice. Near blinked turning his head away from the three males that had their eyes trained on him. Near couldn't let them see his eyes, not now, he was beginning to feel insecure about having Beyond's eyes as his own now. He nodded once to answer back. "How do they hurt?" L asked with a gaze that didn't waver once.

"The light stings them, but it's normal." Near confessed. "I am quite used to it."

"You should probably have them looked at." L said with a small grin that was meant to be friendly. "It can't be healthy to have eyes that sting when exposed to the light."

It can't be healthy to gobble sugar all the time, either. Near thought feeling a bit insulted.

"I'll get him an appointment with a doctor." Matt said leaving the room hastily. It was obvious he felt edgy and unsettled around the albino. Mello pulled Near over to the sofa and they both sat down there. "Matt, make sure you get a competent doctor this time!" Mello called recalling Matsuda's brief visit. The redhead didn't answer back, but that just let Mello know that he wasn't going to argue. "Can I have my contacts back?" Near asked quietly, breaking the momentary silence, which had engulfed the room for a split second or so. "Sure." Mello said taking the contacts from his pocket. He gave them to Near who stared at them with distain. The blonde noticed this and felt a bit of pity for the albino.

If something had gone wrong he could've been blinded for life. Mello thought grimly. If he had gone blind, then Beyond might have killed him, because he wouldn't have been useful handicapped. And if that had happened...what would I do now or what would be happening if Beyond hadn't killed him? Would things be any different?

Mello forced those unpleasant thoughts from his mind grateful that none of that had actually occured. He kept his eyes on Near watching as Near was careful putting the dark colored contacts in, before he blinked a few times so that his now ebony eyes fully adjusted to having the contacts covering up his self-hated ruby red eyes. "You won't need them soon." L said as he read something from his laptop. Apparently it was good, because it made him grin. Mello felt a bit curious. What had him in such an optimistic mood all of a sudden? L got up silently and stalked off out the front door leaving both Mello and Near wondering where he was going.

**~An Hour Later~**

L stood outside of a specialized cell. Beyond Birthday paced the inside, whilst L watched from behind a bulletproof plastic-like glass wall. Beyond seemed puzzled as to why L was there, but knew it was purely business. It wasn't like him to drop by just for visits.

"Hello." BB finally said appearing slightly angry. "I see you're still alive."

"Yes," L replied with a nod, "that fact alone should let you know we've caught Near. Seeing him as he is makes me wonder how much trouble you went to just to drive him to the state he's in. It also makes me wonder how many lies you've been feeding us."

"Don't worry," B said with a smirk, "it was no trouble at all. He was so fragile. Classic brainwashing techniques work very well. All I had to do was torment him and deprive him of nutrients and sleep. After a while he fell into line and I shaped him to my liking from there on out. It was so easy, so very simple."

"You've taken everything from him."

"And I feel no guilt."

"We're trying our best to rehabilitate him."

"You can't fix a broken mirror." B sneered. "What do you think you can do for him? You cannot make him forget nor can you bring him happiness and you can't ease his fears. Nate knows what he did and he knows what will happen when we meet again."

"Don't deceive yourself Beyond." L said coldly. "You can't escape and we're keeping Near as far from you as we can. He doesn't deserve to be harmed again, not by your hand. He's been through enough. The fact Mello is taking charge of him makes me believe he's been punished quite enough. In truth I believe you've made our job of helping him easier. His will and determination are very strong."

"His soul is mine, L! You can believe that. His soul, body, heart, and mind are all mine! It would do you good to remember whom Nate belongs to."

"He doesn't belong to anyone. He's a person not a thing that can be owned."

"…."

"I honestly feel at fault that you got your hands on him." L confessed glaring at Beyond who didn't appear remorseful at all.

"And you should."

"But I don't, because it isn't me who is at fault, no, it's you."

"Personally," Beyond continued as though he hadn't heard a word L had said, "if I were you I would concentrate on the living rather than the dead, because that is what he is on the inside. Nate is dead, cold, numbed, he is exactly like me."

"He is nothing like you." L said with obvious dislike. "And don't treat me like a fool, Beyond. I know I can't give him the past years back nor can I ease the pain you have caused him, just like I know that I can't make him feel content after all you did to him, after all the things you made him do, but I can damn well make sure that, in the very least, he gets his eyes back."

Beyond narrowed his eyes after pulling his contacts out. "Hmm, Nate wasn't supposed to tell anyone it was to be our little secret." He said scornfully. He was now an exact copy of L and truthfully it creeped the real L out.

"I will have the surgery scheduled for next week." He said biting his thumb gently. "Oh, yes, Beyond did you know that Near had BPD?"

"Yeah. So what?"

"Nothing." He muttered. "It was just a question."

**~*~Back at the apartment~*~**

"Mello, Melly-Mel-Mel-Mello!" Matt called from the kitchen doorway. "I need to ask you something."

"What?" the blonde asked clearly annoyed.

"Why do killers look adorable when they sleep?" he asked looking at Near who had fallen into a silent sleep beside Mello. His face was dusted pink and his lips were parted a bit. He was obviously having good dreams. It just scared Mello and Matt to think of what dreams Near's mind would classify as 'pleasant'. The blonde replied with a shrug, "Dunno, I guess it's the same reasons just about all killers are usually smoking hot."

"Hmm, hey I think he's saying something!" Matt said moving a bit closer. "Yeah, I can barely hear what it is though!"

They both leaned in close to hear what the albino was saying and much to their surprise he whispered out a short list of toys, which were: robots, dice, marbles, legos, puzzles, rubber ducks, action figures, water guns, darts, chess, checkers, cards, and oddly enough, he even mentioned stuffed animals. Mello gave Matt a smirk.

"He's still obsessed with toys." Mello snickered.

His redheaded friend stifled his laughter. The front door opened, and then closed silently. Mello and Matt looked up not at all surprised to see L; however, they were surprised to see that he appeared rather frustrated. Nothing seemed to frustrate him, but as he stalked off past them they noticed how tense he was. What had happened? Neither knew and had a feeling that they didn't want to know.

"What's wrong with him?" Matt asked the blonde quietly.

Of course you'd be so clueless as to ask me something I know nothing about. Mello thought rolling his eyes. "I know as much as you do." He said hoping to not hurt his best friend's feelings by saying what he thought. He really didn't want to get on Matt's bad side. He was the only friend he really had, aside from L, that is. His and Near's status was unknown to him. They clearly weren't friends, but they didn't seem to be enemies either.

So what were they exactly?

Mello shrugged the question away, deciding to think about it later.

"Let's go see." He said taking the key to the handcuffs from his pocket. "Near should be okay on his own. I mean, what can he do when he's asleep? We'll be back before he wakes up. Let's go see what's got L all upset. It might be important."

Matt nodded following the blonde. They went to the kitchen to talk with L about what had him the way he was and L explained everything that occurred before, during, and after his visit with Beyond. He told them what Beyond had said and about his plans to get them (Beyond and Near, no duh-de-duh!) to trade eyes back. And he explained how B wasn't even sorry for what he had done, but that didn't surprise either of them, at all.

"He thinks he's so great," Mello snorted in disgust, "he's not. He's just a monster and I swear if he tries to screw around with Near's mind anymore than what he already has I'll kill that son of a bitch."

"We don't doubt that." Matt said as he got up from the table to stretch his legs that were beginning to cramp up real badly. "You can do whatever you like as long as you've got a gun or, you know, something like that."

"Agreed. I think it'll be best if you went back to Near, Mello, before he wakes up. He is unpredictable, emotionally and mentally unstable, and he may try to make a run for it if he sees a chance."

Nodding in agreement Mello turned and headed back for the living room, hoping that Near hadn't woken up, but that hope was soon destroyed. He froze the moment he stepped into the room. His mouth opened slightly so that he was gaping. Matt noticed his friend was staying as still as a stunned rabbit, so he went to see what had made him freeze. It didn't take a genius to realize what was making Mello freeze up like a stunned rabbit, because in all honesty it made blood start gushing from the redhead's nose. neither expected to see Near, who came off as an insane psycho-bitch, to seem so cute and so, so very hot. Near stared at them blankly removing his hand from his pants, whilst the blush faded from his face.

"Something wrong other than the fact Mello undone the handcuffs?" he asked breathily. After a moment he looked down at his cum covered hand. "Oh, yeah, I got an erection and decided to take care of it. You should already know that, though."

"Piss off!" Mello snapped.

"Screw you!" Matt spat blushing furiously. "Just because that was hot doesn't mean a thing!"

"I'm attractive to Matt and Mello?"

Neither Matt nor Mello responded as they both blushed beet red. They both had major nosebleeds around that point, meanwhile Near sat on the sofa showing off a small, timid grin. _Dammit,_ the blonde thought staggering over to Near and putting the cuff back on his pale wrist, _this is gonna be so much harder than I thought!_

_Gods,_ Matt thought dabbing his nose with a tissue, _he's so damn cute especially when he's masturbating! How could I say something so embarassing? And how the hell can anyone, even Mello, be angry or annoyed or afraid of him when he's like that? Damn! Now I got a boner!_

Near gave them a smirk knowing that he was going to have tons of fun with these two.

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**Hope that was satisfactory! Well, at least ya all know that I'm not dead and that I'm beginning to update my stories again. Oh, and happy Valintine's Day!**

**Wait...was that misspelled?**

**Oh, well, have a happy holiday! And I just want those of you who were begging for me to update Cannibal Land to know that I plan on updating as soon as I can! Please be patient and the updates will be all the sweeter! Sorry, if that sounded wrong or confusing or ya know whatever! Why do I use that word so much? *Rolls eyes* Oh, and soory for grammatical errors I'm currently making, but I'm trying to hurry so I can finish the update for that fanfic!**

**Sorry I fell behind in updates!**

**~Luv Fairylust~**


	11. Chapter 11

**Update! Update! Update!**

**Hope ya'll (you all, duh!) enjoy this! I did my best and really hope it's good enough to _not_ earn me any flamings. Lol. ****And I apologize for not updating sooner, blah, blah, blah, etc. ****I will try to update I Lost My Albino if there are enough votes on the poll thingy I made.**

**So, yea, I'll try to work on that some.**

**~Fairylust~**

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Later that morning after Near managed to pick the lock on the handcuffs using a knife, which he managed to pickpocket from Matt earlier (hugs really do makes things interesting!) after 'apologizing' for kidnapping, torturing, and raping him. Matt accepting, meanwhile he took a pocketknife from the redhead's back pocket sadly Matt didn't seem to realize his mistake until Near was on the loose.

What did L do? Well, as soon as he was loose Near ran for the kitchen and sadly was able to shove the detective out a window. Luckily it wasn't too far up from the ground otherwise L could've been really hurt. Closing the window Near locked it so that he couldn't get back in unless he came through the front door and up the stairwell.

Why didn't Mello do anything? Well, as it turns out being knocked into semi-unconsciousness can render you helpless and incapable of doing much other than groaning and struggling to keep consciousness. Matt was standing beside him trying to help him obtain total consciousness and once they succeeded they both headed for the kitchen. To their puzzlement food was strewn about and Near stood poking at something small, white and round looking.

Marshmallow.

"What the hell?" Mello snapped seeing half of one of his precious chocolate bar hanging from between Near's pale lips. Upon seeing them the albino leapt beneath the table and kept his eyes glued to them, while he nibbled the candy, as though he were a frightened rabbit. "Seems as though he's hungry." Matt whispered to the blonde.

"No, _really_ I would have _never_ guessed!" Mello snapped sarcastically. "What the hell do we do about…this?" he asked motioning all around with his hands. His friend shrugged not seeming too concerned. The blonde wondered why he seemed so careless all of a sudden. "Keep him away from the knives and forks and things should go well for you." Matt said with a small grin. "Good luck." He said turning to leave, but was stopped when Mello grabbed his shoulder.

"What the hell are you-"

"Well, I just guessed that you'd be the one who would better, much rather, feed the little guy." The redhead said grinning and backing out of the room slowly. "You know, because he's handcuffed to _your_ wrist, until we're sure he isn't too, well, not really, very dangerous. Yeah, so good luck with…whatever! Have fun!"

"Matt you moron! Get back here!"

A door slammed shut making the blonde sigh in frustration. "Bastard!" he cursed hoping Matt heard the insult. He averted his icy gaze to Near who was now nibbling on what he guessed was a cracker of some sort. The cracker soon vanished and the boy then had a carrot in his mouth nibbling. Mello wanted to smile as he imagined Near was a small albino rabbit, but his scowl wouldn't let the smile come replace it. He stood observing the younger male as he ate. Near took small, small nibbles as though he were afraid of eating it too fast and he was a bit shaky as he swallowed. Another image soon floated into Mello's mind and oddly enough, instead of a rabbit, the image was of an albino rat eating and then running on its metal wheel, before eating some more.

Mello smirked at that.

Sighing he knelt down so that he was eye level with Near. He made sure to keep a safe distance away. Mello wasn't afraid of Near or anything, but Mello wasn't suicidal either and knew that the boy's actions were unpredictable. He could do anything and he wouldn't suspect so until it was too late, so he decided to be safe rather than sorry.

"Why did you make such a mess?" he asked trying to start a conversation that he hoped would end with them leaving the room handcuffed together once more. "Were you hungry?" Near gave him a nod trying to figure out what the blonde was thinking of accomplishing by asking the insignificant questions he did.

"Then why didn't you tell us?" the blonde demanded suddenly feeling angry. He glanced about the room once and knew it was a mess _he_ would have to clean up. "It'd have saved a lot of time and energy if you just said you were hungry it's not like we're gonna starve you or something unscrupulous like that."

There was a moment where Near's eyes widened slightly in what Mello guessed was incredulity. That was when he pieced it all together. Near didn't ask, because he believed he _couldn't_ ask, because he thought that he _wasn't_ allowed to eat, unless someone decided that he _could_. Mello felt a pang of sadness for the younger teen. "I was just bored." Near said chewing the last of his carrot up. "And…a bit…hungry."

"Sure." The blonde said rolling his eyes.

"Just a bit, sure." He added sarcastically. There was an uncomfortable silence after that. At that time all Mello could do was eye Near up and down as though expecting to notice something he didn't notice before. Slowly, but surely he noticed that Near was thinner than what he originally thought, or noticed, the blonde realized at once that Near's baggy white pajama shirt hung from his body a little too loosely and he could just make out hip bones protruding gaunt from the pajama pants, which also appeared a bit too loose. "God you're so thin." He muttered scowling. "When was the last time you ate?"

Near blinked once appearing blank.

"Do you not answer because you don't know or because you don't want me to know?"

"Why is it even important?" he asked in his monotone voice, appearing as blank, yet as intense as ever. "It seems so irrelevant."

"You could get sick eating all this stuff at once after not eating for a long while."

"I've yet to get sick from not eating." Near said playing with his hair. He seemed blank, but soft in some way the blonde couldn't depict. "I seem to get sick when I eat too much, though. It's why I was never allowed to touch food when I was with _him_, because _he_ said I would make myself fat, sometimes _he_ said I didn't deserve to eat. What I think, though, is that I wasn't trusted to feed myself, because of how inept I am at those small tasks, so I trusted _him_ to tell me what to eat and drink, so that I did not make myself fat or sick."

Mello immediately noticed and appreciated that Near had used the words 'him' and 'he' instead of saying 'Beyond'. Maybe it was a sign he knew what Beyond did to him was both sick and immoral or maybe he just sensed that Mello was fed up with hearing the killer's name? Either way Mello was glad Near had said 'him' and 'he' instead of _that_ name. "Well anyone _will_ get sick if they eat too much, Near, but what would you classify as 'too much'?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"Sometimes a small cup of sushi makes me feel sick. Sometimes a bit of meat or a bowl of soup will get me sick. At certain times all it takes is a soggy bit of bread. Right now I just feel hungry for anything I can eat, so I should be fine for the rest of the day and night, unless I get sick, of course. No need to worry about someone you don't nor _can_ care about. Hmm, carrot."

_Beyond! That bitchy creep!_ Mello thought as he shot him a glare. _He's messed you up on the inside _and_ the outside, gods what else has he done to you?_

"You should see a doctor." Mello said grabbing the carrot from Near who gave him a glare, then starting to eat on another one of Mello's chocolate bars. "Stop that! You're sick and don't need to eat all this if it'll make you sicker."

"No." Near said feeling annoyed when Mello also took the bar of candy from him. "I am just not used to eating too much food. It isn't certain I will get sick, but it's a possibility."

"What you've described is next to nothing, Near, and if _that_ makes you sick, then we'd better get a good look at your insides."

"No." Near whined feeling a cramp in his stomach. "I'm fine!" he said ignoring the intense pain the cramp brought. "No, you aren't." Mello argued seeing Near was in some sort of pain. The younger boy insisted but Mello wasn't about to let him eat himself sick.

"You are anything but." He said sternly. "Come on, Near, if the doc says things are fine, then I'll let you eat as much as you want, but if you aren't then you're going to have to go on some sort of liquid diet and work your way up to solid foods, just to be safe."

"Fine." The albino huffed. "I'm not fine. So what? If I have managed to be okay for a while now then there is no need to panic. It's not like I am pregnant or anything."

"You're seeing a doctor later." The blonde said firmly. "End of discussion." Mello said in a tone that was meant to end the conversation. He expected there to be a retort or protest yet there wasn't. Near didn't argue, but he didn't agree either. He simply kept still while Mello put the handcuffs back on, so that they were once more connected.

Near suddenly felt numb. "Hey are you okay?" Mello asked noticing how the boy looked sort of sick. He was paler than usual.

Laughter filled the air.

Near smiled as his two best friends in the whole world played outside he watched from a window as they played soccer. A certain blonde broke the window when he kicked the ball straight into it by mistake. Near was hit and cut up. Blood flowed everywhere whilst screams of terror and confusion filled the air. He looked into a large mirror that seemed to appear out of nowhere. The distorted screams and cries of pain and fear soon grew louder and louder with every passing minute. Blood soaked his hair and hands.

"_So pretty." Someone said from behind him. Their reflection wasn't in the mirror, but Near knew it was a teenage form of Beyond. "You are pretty, aren't you?"_

"Ye-yes." He whispered in reply. "I-I am Beyond's pretty dove."

Beyond chuckled. Near saw that the blood began to painlessly seep into his eyes slowly changing their color. He wanted to scream, but all he could do was gawp at the mirror. The fact he began to fall backwards for no reason just shocked him all the more. He fell through thin air, meanwhile getting a glance at his slowly changing eyes. Soon they were blood red. His small body smashed into a pool of glass and all he could see was red.

The screams were growing faint, now, at least. They soon died down and the only thing he saw was a bright white above him, just a door of bright white light. The horrible screams and sounds of anguish were replaced by a beautiful silence. Small bits of snow soon fell around his small body, which just seemed to be floating in an empty void of space. All he saw around him was shattered glass, snowflakes, and then there was that wonderful rectangle of light above him.

Am I in Heaven? _He wondered feeling cold, but _warm_. Seeming _alone_, but feeling _complete_ and at _peace_, despite the fact he thought he was _dead_._

Am I just dead? If so, if I _am_ just dead, then I hope everyone else is dead, too._ He thought closing his eyes to bath in the warm, pleasant feelings that surrounded him. There was no pain, no fear, no sense of being lost or unsure. There was only warmth that welcomed him and made him feel as though he could overcome anything._

_It was so perfect, so unreal. _Everyone should feel like this._ He thought with closed eyes. _Everyone should feel so wonderful, so impeccable, and so complete.

"Am I dead?" he moaned opening his eyes a bit. "Please?"

"Thank god no." someone said out of his line of vision. He tried to move, but couldn't, so he just stuck to groaning out questions. "Where am I?" he asked keeping his eyes on the ceiling. His body ached, especially his stomach. "Living room." He mumbled to himself.

"You are one sorry son of a bitch." The same voice said. Near groaned quietly disregarding what had been said. "Gods, you just like to make things troublesome for me, don't you?"

"Is Mello speaking?" he asked quietly, emotionlessly. "Yeah, I am the one speaking." He said not really trying to portray an emotion for once in his life. Near turned his head to the side and saw the blonde was watching him with cold blue eyes.

"I feel sick."

"Yeah, you passed out." Mello said with a harsh gaze. "Apparently from over eating." He said making sure Near saw just how infuriated he was. The albino groaned quietly, clearly in pain. He exhaled almost inaudibly trying to blink away his nausea. "I _did_ eat more than usual." Near confessed holding his stomach with one arm. He looked ready to puke all over the place. "No kidding!" Mello snorted noticing this.

"Sorry, Melly." He groaned in agony. This annoyed the blonde, very much. "Don't call me that." The blonde hissed. "From here on your on a liquid diet, until I think your body can handle solid foods, that is." He said with a nod that seemed to clench it.

"Ugh."

"What? Don't tell me you're gonna blow albino chucks while I'm connected to you!"

"Feel…sick…really…sick…."

Sighing the blonde shook his head in disapproval. He eyed the small body that lay on the couch and couldn't help but remember how he had used to have a small crush on the boy, because his love map, as some adults from other stupid orphanages, said was screwed up because his parents died when he was like three, so he counted on some elder boys who were kind to him at the first orphanage he was sent to, to give him love. No, he didn't think that was it at all. He was just naturally bi and that was that. "I'm sleepy." Near whined. "Sleepy, Mello, I feel so sleepy!" He was definitely cute when he pouted.

_Beyond had good tastes, at least._ Mello thought with a crooked smile. "Keep talking like a five year old and I'll treat you like one." He said exasperated. "We'll go to bed after the mess in the kitchen is all cleaned up."

Near groaned loudly grimacing.

"No, we'll clean up." L said standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "Even though he shoved me from a window and seems hell bent on killing me I can't stand to see him suffer from this illness he is going through. Let Matt and I clean the mess up, you can pay us back next time."

"Okay, thanks." Mello said a bit surprised that L had said what he did and that Matt didn't appear to argue. "I guess we'll just…go to bed, then."

"Please do, maybe _just_ maybe, tomorrow things will be calmer."

"I doubt that!" Matt's snort of laughter came from the kitchen. "Nothing will be calm from here out, I guess."

"Ditto." Mello muttered. He stood, but the albino didn't move an inch. Giving a short frustrated sigh he tugged gently signaling for Near to follow. He didn't move, he just looked up at a Mello with his large, enticing eyes. This albino was infuriating! What was worse was that he was being that way deliberately! It just angered Mello even more so to know this fact. "C'mon Near." He said pulling the small teen from the couch. He watched as Near lay limply on the floor. He gave an infuriated growl, then nudged Near, who simply whimpered a reply.

"It seems you will have to carry him." L said with an amused smirk. "I do not believe he feels like walking, Mello."

Angered, but not willing to argue Mello nodded curtly. Swearing under his breath the blonde picked the small boy up and carried him to his room under one arm. He dropped Near, none too gently on the bed, and then uncuffed himself from the teen.

Anyone with sense would know that it would be a fruitless attempt to sleep while handcuffed to another person. He made sure to cuff Near's hand to the headboard so that he couldn't escape, well, escape easily. Mello exhaled sharply as Near made a helpless whimpering noise. "What's your problem now?" he asked clearly annoyed beyond belief.

"This is uncomfortable."

"Get used to it or I can give you a nice closet to sleep in."

That seemed to do the trick. Near laid still and silent, his eyes half lidded and vacant as though he wasn't there anymore. It kinda creeped Mello out how he could do that on and off. Mello wondered if Near was thinking or if his mind was a blank or if he was reminiscing about something. Surely he was thinking. It'd be boring to just lay around with a blankness running across your mind. And with all honesty Mello felt a bit guilty for making the threat, seeing as Beyond probably did such things and he didn't want to be anything like that vile, no, vicious, yes that described him so much better, person.

"He ever do that?"

The small boy fixed him with a stare that was caught between interest and grimness. He mentally face palmed. The question came out almost automatically. He didn't want to say it, but he did anyway and the expression Near gave him made him wonder what all had been done to him. He had a feeling that it'd be much easier to ask what _hadn't_ been done to him. _Oh, if only I knew. _He thought with a cold, heavy feeling settling in his stomach. Mello felt as though he swallowed a rock or something like that.

"I have been put in a closet." Near replied. "For my own good. It was rather comfortable if I must confess."

"Somehow I doubt that." The blonde found himself saying. "How was it for your own good? How did getting shoved and locked in a closet benefit you, at all?"

"I learned to not fear the dark and to not panic when in a small space with little oxygen."

"Oh." It was all that came from Mello that time. He felt sort of bad for Near, but knew that he couldn't confess that or else he might be caught up in an argument with a stubborn, little albino lunatic. "Yeah, I guess that's useful, sometimes, you know, just sometimes." He forced himself to add on to his previous 'oh' that sounded weak, and pathetic to him. Near didn't seem phased and just seemed to want to sleep.

His eyes kept drooping and opening. What was said next wasn't much of a surprise to the blonde, seeing as he had been surprised enough by Near to take what he heard and learned in stride. "You can let me sleep in the closet tonight if it will make you feel safer."

"Shut up, just shut up and sleep." He growled softly. Near seemed to obey, clearly weary and worn out, he was cramping as well, Mello could tell, but he bared the pain well, only letting little grimaces show through every now and again.

Neither of them made a sound as they lay down facing the opposite sides of each other, both thinking of the other and wondering what the other was thinking. After a while when Mello was certain Near was asleep he let his eyelids close and let himself be carried off into a pleasant sort of darkness, which led to a land of dreams. His dreams were pleasant and not at all filled by misery or bloodshed as Near's was.

They _were_ truly polar opposites.

Meanwhile, L sat in the living room typing furiously on his laptop. Matt and he had just finished cleaning up.


	12. Chapter 12

_Kill him._ The voice in his head ordered excitedly. _Kill him, now! Now, Nate, now!_

"No, not now, Beyond." He mumbled semi-conscious. "I'm wanting to sleep. Kill him yourself."

Bastard!

"I know."

Ugh! K-

"No."

_Yes! Now!_

"No."

_Do it!_

"I'm sleeping."

_Lazy ass!_ The voice hissed angrily. _Wake up and crush that blonde bastard's windpipe!_

"No." he mumbled sleepily. "If you want him dead so badly make me."

_Kill him!_ B's voice growled, then turned soft and gentle._ It'll be easy, c'mon do it for me._

"Maybe later." He sighed exhaling softly. Near groaned a bit opening his eyes. He wished he'd slept better. Still tired he ignored the fading suggestions and orders that kept repeating in the back of his head. He was tired and just wanted to keep sleeping, but he didn't dare go back to sleep knowing that Beyond would lurk there ready to get at him.

_If it'll get me peace and sleep, maybe I should kill Mello,_ Near thought grimly as the voice faded and he became fully awake. _How can I though when I'm handcuffed to the damned bed?_ He wondered listlessly.

Soon Mello was awake and Near's chance to do anything passed. He inhaled deeply and listened as the blonde drew a warm bath. The sounds of water were relaxing enough, well, until he found out whom the bath was meant for. Mello came in and uncuffed him, then to the small boy's surprise dragged him to the bathroom and locked the door.

"Kay, Near, you going to strip and get in the tub or am I going to have to attack and force you?" the blonde asked ready to attack if Near refused, but the smaller boy only took a step back and stared at him defiantly. He seemed uncertain, but then he seemed curious.

"Would Mello explain why he wants to bath me first?" Near said giving the warm bath a look of utter distain. "It is suspicious." Sighing Mello gave a shake of his head, then nodded and began to list his reasons off the top of his head. "Reason one: to get that dye out of your hair," he gave Near a steely look as he continued to list, "reason two: you're filthy, and reason three: you're starting to reek like death, so before I even _think_ about letting you out of here I'm gonna make sure you're squeaky clean."

Near tilted his head to the side thinking about the situation. He liked the sound of the bath, but he didn't like the meaning behind it. Mello must've thought it was well hidden, but Near knew that if he accepted the bath, then he'd have to return to normal, which was literally easier said than done. He wasn't sure if he could go white again.

Running fingers through his greasy, black hair Near knew he needed a bath, but he didn't know if he was wanting to wash out the hair dye. He wasn't sure if he was ready to wear white again. He wasn't sure if he could walk around without his contacts. They were his safety blanket, his shield against the world and against the truth that he was a freak because he was different and not an exact freakin copy of every other normal person.

At least with black hair, gray pajamas, and gray eyes he had color and wasn't some unique, albino genius that everyone could gawk at like he were some walking freak show. He was a troublemaker, dammit! Near thought he deserved to be treated like one, instead of being treated like some little pet.

"I think I will refuse the offer," he said watching the blonde warily, "but seeing as I have no say in the matter I suppose I will have to cooperate."

"Good choice."

Near started to unbutton his gray pajama shirt making sure to take his time, so that the bath was prolonged, but Mello wasn't known for patience and ended up 'helping' him undress. His shirt ended up getting ripped and his pants were quickly yanked down and off. Mello seemed to take a moment to take the boy's figure in. His eyes portrayed only disgust at the marks on the smaller boy's body. When the blonde was done looking at him Near was shoved down into the bathtub and the water was burning his flesh and wounds despite the fact he was sure that it wasn't very hot. Mello could see he wasn't used to the temperature and that he was uncomfortable from the way he squirmed.

"Can't you do anything?" he growled in annoyance. "Be still."

"It's hard to be still when you're hurting me, you prick!" Near snapped. His eyes were filled by fury. "Stop it! Go away!" he shouted shoving the blonde away, but Mello wasn't about to trust the smaller male to actually clean himself correctly, yet it was annoying to be shoved about. "Stop shoving!" he yelled angrily, once he was fed up enough.

"I will when you leave me alone!"

"And I'll leave you alone when you learn how to take care of yourself!" Mello retorted trying to rub soap on the boy's face. Near smacked his hand away and shifted in the tub.

"Maybe I would if you would piss off!" he growled avoiding the blonde's harsh gaze. "I can care for myself."

"I would leave, but, oh that's right, I can't trust a word you say!"

"Mello is about to get hit."

"Try it and see what you get." He challenged.

Sure enough Near smacked him across the face. Anger took over and he hit the smaller boy hard enough to make his head snap back abruptly after receiving the blow. Near gave a sharp exhale and banged his head against the back wall. He let his body go limp and stared down at the water after feeling something break. He wasn't sure what, but knew something had broken again.

He let Mello's hands wander on his head as he examined the damage, which was done. The blonde was surprised there was no struggling, but he didn't know that it was just normal that he be obedient after a thrashing. He didn't register that Mello was apologizing for hurting him. All that he really registered was that the water was starting to turn scarlet and that the back of his head hurt like hell. Near was sure he'd heard a crack beforehand as well. _Oh, I must have busted it open again._ He realized with a dazed look upon his face.

"Gods, you might need stitching."

"No, I won't."

"Yes, you _will_."

"Fine, but I better get to pick the band-aid."

"Shut up! Don't you realize how serious this is?"

"How can I? I'm _insane_. I _can't_ take care of _myself_. I'm too _stupid_ to do _anything_ right."

"Look, I am sorry if I offended you or whatever, but this isn't anytime for your damn indifference."

"Just wash the blood out and it'll be fine, probably just a shallow cut."

"Fine, but if it's still bleeding by the time you get out we're getting it stitched."

Near gave a curt nod. He let Mello do as he pleased after that. He squirmed some when soap and shampoo was applied and he didn't enjoy getting rinsed and dried off too much either. Mello was much too rough and it hurt the smaller boy to be handled roughly, but he was able to feign composure well enough. He certainly didn't like getting forced into some white pajamas. When Mello shown him a trash can he gave the blonde a curious, confused look, and then was forced to toss his contacts. He felt insecure. The fact Mello blow-dried his hair so that it was nice and fluffy didn't help his tart mood much, either.

He drew the line when the blonde brought out a bottle of rubbing alcohol and band-aids. There was no way he was about to let Mello look over his body and rub some liquid on his wounds just so he could whimper and cringe at the stinging pain. He wouldn't have it.

So he locked himself in a closet. "Open up!" Mello shouted as he attempted to open the door. It didn't budge, so he started to pound on it. Near sat inside defiant and pissed that the blonde was even attempting to drag him out. His anger grew when he realized that the door was bound to give way any minute and break off its hinges. "Go away!" he shouted hoping that by some miracle it'd work and Mello would just leave him be.

No such luck.

"I'll go away when you let me clean those scrapes and cuts!" the blonde yelled.

_No, then you'll handcuff me to you and I'll be drug around like your pet._ He thought sulkily. He glared at the white he wore cursing himself for letting Mello dress him up in such an untainted color. The banging continued, so he moved further back into the closet letting himself go further and further back until his back touched the cool, firm wall of the very back. He kept huddled up hoping that his size and the clothes above and around him would provide enough cover. _Why can't they just leave me alone?_ He thought letting his head lay on his knees, which were drawn up to his chest. He started to mumble to himself ignoring the fact that the hinges gave way and Mello was enraged with him.

Mello gave a sharp exhale and moved some clothes aside not too surprised to find Near huddled up in the very back of the not too big, not too small closet mumbling something or another to himself. Grabbing a hold of the boy's arm he yanked him to his feet forcing him from the closet. The albino didn't even seem to realize he had been brought out and continued to mumble to himself, so Mello led him over to the bed, and he made him sit before getting the rubbing alcohol, dabbing it on some cotton balls, and then dabbing at all of Near's cuts and scraps. He was careful the whole time even when he put the band aids on, because he had no idea when Near would snap out of his trance-like state.

Well, Mello got worried when he left Near alone to get a quick shower and came back to find that he was still mumbling to himself. Handcuffing the small boy to him he led Near out of the bedroom and was greeted by a certain redhead. "Hi!" he said more to Mello than Near who kept mumbling to himself like nobody was around. Green eyes were soon on the smaller boy and Matt tossed his best friend a confused look of inquisitiveness.

"Um…I think…I think I broke him…." Mello confessed jerking Near a little.

He came forward, but continued to mumble. Matt's eyes widened. He poked the boy's forehead, but nothing seemed to happen. When he and Mello started to poke and prod with him, however, he seemed to snap out of his trance and began to bite, scratch, kick, and slap at them with ferocity equal to Mello's on one of his worst days.

They calmed down after a minute or so, but that was just because Matt and Mello had managed to pin Near down to the floor. Struggling was futile, but he still attempted thrash about, despite the fact he knew he couldn't get free from their grasp.

Near yelled muffled words through Matt's leather gloved hand. The redhead was soon glad it was gloved, because the albino started to bite. Things were pretty awkward, seeing as Mello straddled the boy's hips and Matt held him from behind. Gods, if a fangirl was present they knew she'd think that they were about to make yaoi. The situation seemed to get even more awkward when L walked in. His large owl-panda-like eyes seemed to question why it appeared as though the two elder teens were in their current position.

"Hmm, this is…normal…."

"Yeah, on what planet?" Mello spat snidely. "The planet of awkward porno positions?"

Near gave a muffled reply, but it was ignored.

"So, how does he look?" Matt asked to change the subject. "Mels seems to have done a good job, don't you think?"

"He does look more like himself, but something is missing…."

Near bit down particularly hard on the redhead's gloved hand. His teeth went through the leather and sank into Matt's flesh. He winced, but didn't move his hand. "Yeah, maybe it's the fact he's insane or that he has Beyond's eyes." Matt grimaced doing his best to not move his hand due to the pain he was feeling.

"Mello, I trust you'll have him under control when we take him in for surgery."

Near's eyes widened and he looked to Mello. "Surgery?" the blonde questioned. He wasn't informed of surgery and the look of surprise Near displayed let him know that Near was in the dark, as well. L nodded and Matt rolled his eyes. So, they both knew and planned. Mello felt a bit upset that they hadn't included him in their secret plan.

"Yes, Mello, surgery, which is very important." L said giving a curt nod. "I believe it'd benefit both you and Near, perhaps, in a positive way."

"What surgery?" Mello demanded. "Lobotomy? No, I don't think so. He's a pain in the ass, but I don't think making him stupid would help anything or anyone."

"No," L sighed shaking his head, "Mello, not lobotomy."

"It's a surprise!" Matt chimed in. "It'll be great, trust us."

Near didn't seem to think so, as he yelled something that sounding close to swearing or maybe he was simply expressing his own thoughts in a threatening manner. Either way Mello wasn't sure he wanted to find out for himself. He just nodded and hoped Near would trust him. Well, you can hope to move the moon, but unfortunately it doesn't budge. Near held onto the side of the doorway stubbornly when they attempted to leave.

"Stop being such a baby!" Mello grunted as he tugged on the younger teen. His arms were wrapped around Near's waist, but the younger boy wasn't about to let his hold weaken. "C'mon this is for your own good!" he said pulling on Near harder. His grip slipped and both Near and Mello tumbled backwards.

Lying on the ground with an albino on top of you really doesn't improve somebody's mood. He shoved Near off him and was glad that Matt helped him (he just opened the car door) while Mello shoved the albino into the back seat. _I wonder if this is what it's like to have a pet._ The blonde wondered as he got in right behind Near who sat trembling and silent. About an hour later when they were halfway there Matt noticed that Near had laid his head on the blonde's lap and was still shaking and still staying silent. It seemed to please Mello, but it really creeped Matt out seeing as Near seemed to be afraid.

"Hey, is there a particular reason he's so freaked out?"

"Dunno." Mello shrugged, and then added more darkly, "B might know, though."

Both friends shuddered, meanwhile Near squirmed against Mello refusing to collaborate with them. He didn't want to go to the doctor or morgue or hospital or wherever they were sending him for the 'surprise' as they so called it!

It wasn't just a few bad experiences that made him hate those places it was a constant reminder that death was everywhere. Then there was that smell of various chemicals and then there were the germs and there were the doctors who were supposed to save lives, but instead thought they could play god and decide who lived and died. It was the medical tools that were so tempting, yet frightening to him, because they reminded him more of tools that tortured people rather than tools used to save lives. Basically, it was just everything about hospitals that made him feel like 'freaking out' as Mello and Matt put it.

"Well, we're here." Matt said as they parked in front of a hospital. Near whimpered and refused to budge from where he sat. In the end Mello and Matt had to force him from the car and Mello had to carry him in. He retaliated by making his body go limp and despite his age he wasn't at all heavy. Then again he had had to be on a liquid diet.

They walked down halls and were forced to endure strange stares and quiet whispers of confusion. They entered silence once they got to an empty room where L was speaking with a doctor. There was somebody else there. Somebody who made both Mello and Matt freeze in their tracks and made a grin spread itself on Near's face.

Beyond was still bandaged up a bit, but not too much. He had healed up very well since the last encounter with L, Mello, and Matt. Neither he nor Near wore contacts so their _real_ eye colors were showing. His eyes met with Near's and both Mello and Matt felt uneasy about that. Neither moved from where they were they just stared as though holding some private conversation with their eyes.

"Matt," the blonde whispered to his friend, "go speak to L about…you know…I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Trust him, Mels."

"I do, but I find it hard to trust them." He said through gritted teeth. "They just make me ill at ease."

"I know what you mean, bud." He said.

They were both now watching as the intent eye contact continued between Near and Beyond. The albino tugged at his shirt collar teasingly. B nodded to him. He unbuttoned the first button on his shirt. B licked his lips and Near let his head loll to the side to reveal an unmarked portion of his neck. It was a dare. Mello, who abruptly dropped Near to the ground, immediately understood that, but he was taken down as well.

"Why did Mello do that?" he asked pouting slightly. "That was mean."

"Stop acting like a little whore!" he hissed quietly. "Are you crazy teasing him like that?"

"No. It is normal and I enjoy it."

Groaning he hauled Near to his white socked feet. Near looked at him with a small, rebellious grin. His eyes held nothing at all, but that grin made Mello feel a bit uneasy and gave him the need to be even more cautious. "Behave or God help me I'll slap sense into you." He growled quietly to the younger boy. The albino turned away from him rudely. Near didn't seem ready to listen to what the blonde had to say.

"If you two are finished chatting," l said breaking into their quiet quarrel, "it is time for surgery."

Both Mello and Matt looked at the two patients. Beyond seemed reluctant and a bit angry, meanwhile Near looked nervous, but attempted to hide that under a blank mask, which didn't hide much in the end. It was easy to see neither wanted the surgery.

Too bad they had no say in the matter.


	13. Chapter 13

**My dear readers, I truly hope you haven't given up hope on me or this story. ****I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while but I got lazy and writer's block contributed, plus there is school and a ton of other factors working against me.**

**Sorry if this is too short for your tastes, but I _did_ try, ya know. Give me credit for that, at least.**

**Anywayz, this is my update and I hope it will be enjoyed by all! I'll update again soon I hope, but for now...ya know what to do...**

**X^P**

**~Luffles, Fairylust~**

* * *

The whole surgery thing went worse than was initially, or otherwise, expected. And originally it was thought out to turn out pretty badly for everyone involved, mostly because of who were being operated on. Both Near and B was like dangerous predators who refused to go down. They both fought with all they had in them and more, making the process a lot harder for everyone.

Neither wanted to take any medication, nor did either of them want to cooperate when being asked questions. They both refused to be physically examined. And they both had separate reasons. Beyond claimed it was due to paranoia, while Near refused to specify his reason, which L, Mello, and Matt suspected was because B was giving him a glare that clearly meant, 'If you say a single word to anyone about it I'll slit your throat'. But even when they had them in separate rooks the teen refused to specify his reasons for not cooperating just stating, more like muttering, that it brought up unpleasant memories.

They refused to cooperate when it was time to lay down on the metal tables. Near seemed to put up the most of a fight. It looked like he was lashing out from anger at first, but it didn't take long before his fear was apparent. People tried to calm him. It did no good and in the end he had to be given sedatives just like Beyond, who had to be given three sedatives before he was out. Near was given two. His fear was too strong, though. It seemed he just couldn't relax. Near fought the sedatives effects the best he could, annoying the surgeons all the more.

If that wasn't bad enough the room was small and had only one means of escape, which seemed to be guarded by a chain of blue-clothed nurses. The lights were dimmed and flashing every few seconds. There were sharp operating tools and a sterile smell. The fact that the room was freezing cold only added to the creepiness of it all. Mello guessed it all caused Near to panic, but being forced down was probably what brought the violence out of him the most.

Mello didn't blame him, since he was given the choice once before some rough looking doctors tried to force him down onto the operating table. He screamed and struggled against them, but his body was already weakening from the sedatives taking effect. And all the while a drowsy looking B watched with an amused smirk. Near didn't seem to notice as his attempts to get away became even more desperate. He even struck one of them, earning a slap in return. That had him stunned for a moment. And it _was_ just a moment. After the moment passed he began to cry and scream struggling even more than before, but the doctors had already began to strap him down. A few of the doctors looked apologetic whispering that they only wanted to help, some seemed sympathetic giving the teen a pitiful look, but the majority of them just seemed annoyed glaring down at him as they struggled to strap him down.

His wrists were the first, and then his ankles. Tears were running down his face. His eyes that were wide in panic kept scanning around the room searching for an escape route…or a new threat. They had somehow obtained a feral appearance like he was a frightened animal ready to fight for his freedom. It did him no good to struggle, though. He was much too weak against all the doctors, the drugs taking their toll on his body, and the restraints that held him down to the metal table.

And, Near being forced down onto the table, in turn made Mello feel like the doctors shouldn't be fully trusted. They were frightening the poor boy, which they should have known by the way the teen was screaming and fighting and crying, by doing that they were showing ignorance and ignorance can't be tolerated. Not when the operation was so vital to helping Near get better. Matt was able to make Mello only a little bit feel better by reminding him that if they didn't restrain him, then L would be on Mello's case later about teaching Near to cooperate or whatever.

He still put up a struggle though, up until he was given another shot that made him quiet down and lose whatever remaining strength he had. He whimpered and made mewling noises as the doctors caught their breaths and went around the room to prepare for the surgery. Not long before the surgery Mello was called back, being told the smaller boy wanted him to be there.

The look in Near's eyes was shocking to the blonde. He looked scared and tired, no longer seeming to be the rebellious loon he'd been when he was drug into the hospital to begin with. "Stop…stop them, Mello, please…." He said in a weary voice looking at him pleadingly, body shaking in what the blonde guessed was terror.

"I can't." he said quietly feeling oddly numbed by all this. "I'm sorry, Near, but I can't."

"Why…?"

His voice softened, quieted down a tad bit. "This is for your best interest, okay?" He meant it to sound soothing but it did no good. Near was still greatly upset and shaking and crying. He whimpered staring up at Mello crossly, though his eyes seemed to be sadder rather than angry. "It hurts." He whispered, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes as he was thrown into a flashback.

Chains. Cold table. Locks and cement walls. Fear. Pain. Anger. Sadness. Hatred. Screaming and begging that went ignored by someone who was apparently a crazed sociopath. Then the tools came out. Cold and slender, deadly in appearance, yet had a beautiful silvery glow beneath the dim light. Blood. Cuts. Scabs. Healing. Scars. Flesh. The process then repeated itself for two full weeks.

It was all so painful that he was soon sobbing eyes squeezed shut.

Mello saw the straps were pulled too tight and were going to leave bruises. The tranquilizers finally took their toll on Near and his head lulled to the side as he lost consciousness. Mello left after giving the doctors the go-ahead nod and telling them to remove the straps from the poor boy's limbs. They done as told, and then they dismissed him. He left feeling like a total jerk for leaving Near scared like that.

He should have done something about it.

The operation took over two hours and it was three days before bandages could be removed from around his eyes. By the time things were completely finished, however, Near had his old dark colored eyes and B had his red eyes again. Neither seemed too pleased with the results. Near actually grimaced and gave a stiff glance over to the red-eyed man, who was sneaking a glare his way. He was clearly mad, without a doubt Matt, who sat beside Near believed that Beyond probably thought Near wanted this. It wouldn't be surprising, seeing as he was so sick and twisted. Near shook his head as B mouthed the word, 'Traitor.'

"Don't worry about him." Matt said quietly, putting a hand on Near's. "Like you, Near, he doesn't have a say in any of this. You don't have to be scared of him and his little threatening act. Besides, those eyes make you look appealing in a good way." Near gave a little, detached grin but refused to show any other signs of gratefulness. "See? Nothing bad will happen to you if you show you're content."

"So do you like it?" Matt asked after a minute or so of silence. "The contacts were nice but the real deal is so much better, just so you know."

"No." Near muttered, blankly staring into space. "I do not like it. I did not want this."

"Wait, but I thought-"

"Don't bother trying to figure it out." Mello said stepping into the doorway. "He's too fickle."

Near mumbled crossly, "No, I am not."

"Yes." The blonde argued with much fervor. "You _are_."

"No, Mello, I am _not_."

They glared at each other for a few moments, before they looked away from each other in what Matt decoded as disgust. _They so like each other._ The redhead thought sarcastically with a sardonic smirk. _I can see them getting along swimmingly in the future._

"Yes." The blonde argued. "You _are_."

The albino made no attempt to argue. He just glared.

Things didn't improve later. If anything they got slightly worse. When they got back to the apartment Near was reluctant to do anything whether asked or threatened. He just went limp and had Mello literally drag him around like he was a dead dog on a leash.

At one point the blonde carried him but after a while his arms got sore so he just dropped Near, which ended up with him falling down along with him. When they finally managed got back up and was seated on the couch Matt whispered to Mello and before Near could figure out what they were saying they had him handcuffed to the kitchen table. After a while he was handcuffed to the headboard of the bed in the other room.

That's where he slept and stayed for the next week or so. Mello or Matt would go in to talk with him. Sometimes L would sit with him and they would stare at each other having a silent conversation with their blank looking eyes, one that almost always ended with Near turning away from L's gaze looking either angry or upset. His spite towards the older male made patching things up especially difficult. The one conversation they had wasn't exactly long or important. L said hello and Near greeted him back then they went on with their staring.

Mostly, though, it was Mello or Matt who spoke to him or took him around to other places. This seemed to become a routine, actually. Mello would usually be the one to look after him but Matt would sometimes do things with him. The whole rape incident made things between the redhead and albino rather tense. Mello repeatedly got Near to apologize. He never sounded sincere but Matt never complained about it. This just became an everyday thing after a while.

Mello would either get up to get Near or to go shower and then get Near. He treated the boy as gently as he could when getting him up in the mornings. After the first few weeks there Near had gotten comfortable. And whenever he woke up he was too tired to fight or resist much, so Mello was able to drag him around like a child does a stuffed animal. And after a bit the whole rehabilitation thing became a morning practice, seeing as Near didn't really resist as much as he did later in the day.

And then the unthinkable happened after two or so months when they had gotten too comfortable with this routine.

* * *

**Please R&R.**

**And again, I'm sorry for not updating in such a long while. I hope you enjoyed this chappie. ;^3**

**~Luv, Fairylust~**


	14. Chapter 14

**Here's a new update for you guys! It's a bit longer than the last so I hope it is satisfactory.**

**X^3**

**~Luv, Fairylust~**

* * *

Mello walked into the room to check in on Near and found that he was gone. The handcuffs lay discarded on the bed. "Matt!" He shouted running from the room. "Matt the little psycho is loose!"

"Oh, dammit! How-"

"I don't know!" he exclaimed. He tried to clam down as they headed for the living room where they separated. Matt went to the bedroom to search for evidence or clues that would suggest where he would go and Mello headed out to look for him. We've gotta start looking around for him, before somebody gets killed. He thought darkly, blue eyes narrowed.

**(A/N:** Just a side note, okay, try reading some of this listening to the song Impossible by Manafest. I think it's pretty awesome. Than again, to each his own opinion**)**

Walking down the street hugging himself Near stared at the ground. He hurt. His eyes were still aching a bit, not yet adjusted to. The pinkie finger he had used to pick the lock of his handcuffs hurt too, actually, it was broken and bleeding. His body ached and his legs had pens and needles from staying still so long. He had to rest in the alley after escaping through the air ducts. Near hadn't moved for a full two hours, then decided he better get going while the getting was good. He already knew where he was going.

He was going to get Beyond out of the asylum.

He just couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't resist L, Mello, or even Matt's attempts at rehabilitating him. They were making him feel strange and different than he had felt before. They were treating him so different than he was used to and it puzzled him as to why they would do that. He was confused, tired, in a delicate state of mind, and he was slipping. He knew all of this very well as he walked down the street feeling sick and chilled by fright. He had never slipped before to his knowledge. Sure he had his moments of insanity but that was normal. This was…different.

That was why he needed Beyond. He was the one who gave him purpose, who loved him, let him live, and taught him everything he knew. Of course, even _he_ knew that some of what he as told were lies, but as long as it had meaning to what he had been put through he didn't care. Feeling sick he suddenly collapsed to his knees on the hard, yet fairly warm pavement of the sidewalk.

Holding his stomach and trembling all over he started to vomit. Tears cascaded down his face, and then a firm hand on his shoulder caused him to squeal and jump away. It felt like his body was moving faster than his mind. He could hear his own heartbeat thundering in his ears and he was scared. Near attacked swiftly, grabbing hold of the penknife he'd grabbed before leaving. He slashed at the unknown person with it. A spray of crimson sprayed him staining his white appearance.

After that he bolted.

Meanwhile, Mello drove down the road looking out for trouble. It came to him that he was on the right trail when he saw police and an ambulance on the side of a curb tending to a wounded man. He stopped and flashed a fake badge and they told him everything. Apparently, the young man had stopped to check on some kid that was throwing up, looking sick and the next thing he knew the kid had slashed a deep gash in the side of the man's face, starting from where his ear was and ending in a curve-like shape snaking up the man's cheekbone, ending below his eye. He'd lost a lot of blood but he was going to be okay.

Mello wondered where Near was heading. He really wished he had some clue as to where the boy was heading. Because from what Matt had found he'd hurt himself to get out of the handcuffs, plus a penknife was missing, meaning that Near was armed and ready for a fight. It was clear to the blonde that the gun he had in the passenger seat might be needed. It was a thought he didn't want to carry out, but he knew….

He knew Near was a mad, wounded dog and to end his pain would be to put him out of his misery. It was a nauseating, yet strangely promising idea to the blonde. That wasn't something he wanted to do, though. He cared about Near more than he let on. The boy needed help. He knew that Near wasn't the way he was just because he chose to be that way. Sure, he had a choice in the matter but fear of abuse probably kept him in line.

And now that he was away from that very same abuse and neglect he probably felt a little recovery working its magic across his damaged body, mind, and emotions. Maybe he was feeling shame for his past actions or having second thoughts about being the way he was. Mello was willing to give him as much help as he could, but seeing as Near was purposely making things difficult it looked like he was running out of options.

Near stood holding a bloodied knife just outside the white brick building with the high chain-linked fence that had another, taller barbed wire fence within it. He read the sign, which read '_Bigg's Asylum for The Criminally Insane_' in bold red letters. Exhaling he snuck past the guards and fences with relative ease. Using the air ducts once more he quickly found himself in the middle of a pure white hallway. The air smelled of cleaning chemicals. It was also cold and crisp, but he decided it was breathable.

He found his way to where the seriously disturbed, homicidal psychos were kept, from there it was just a matter of finding the right cell that wasn't currently guarded. Unfortunately, apparently the asylum had two things that Near hadn't noticed before, despite he had been so careful. They apparently had hidden cameras and no shortage of guards. He found that out soon enough.

The cell rang loudly. It was a random suspenseful music theme Matt had uploaded fort him, since he really didn't care if the phone's ring were like any other phone's or not. He answered it quickly, still keeping his eyes on the road. "Yeah?" he said, finding L was on the other end instead of Matt. He did not sound happy, but then again he never really did sound very 'jovial'. "I've been told that Near has escaped." He said and Mello could practically _hear_ the scowl of annoyance he must have been wearing.

"Yeah, sorry." Mello sighed pushing his foot on the accelerator a bit in frustration, and then easing up on it. "He must've gotten a bit stir crazy or something. He was obviously desperate to get away from the bit of blood found. I think he might be on edge because he attacked someone."

"Were they dead?"

"No. It was just some random attack. Out of panic, I think. The guy said he had sneaked up on him and the way he looked…wasn't too good. The blood trail he left started one way then headed another and just stopped immediately in one other direction. I don't know where to look. It's like he's purposely trying to throw us off."

"Yes…it would, wouldn't it?" he said quietly, like thinking deeply about this, and then he added in an eloquent tone, "You better find him before he hurts someone else. The last thing we need is someone to start an investigation into all this."

"What? You think I don't know that?"

There was a long telling pause. It made Mello feel unnerved, as he stopped at a red light, glad he had time to just sit and think, instead of having to concentrate on two things at once. Exhaling slowly he sat and waited for L to speak and the light to change. It seemed like ages before one of the two happened. And that one thing wasn't the light shifting its colors to yellow, then green.

"From what I understand," L said slowly as though coming out of deep thought, "Near is desperate, frightened, and uncertain. Your attempts to change him must have been working to some extent. He's weak in all states of being, therefore feels panicked."

"Wow, so then that's good, right?"

"No, Mello, that's emotional thinking on your half. I need you to think about this realistically for a long moment. Who do you think he's become used to running to in times like this? Who do you think he trusts to set him straight when he questions himself or what he has been taught? He has a father-figure in his mind, Mello, don't you think he'll be angry when they finally meet?"

"Oh, damn…he's going after BB?"

L's silence was enough to tell him his answer was correct.

"I'm heading there, L. I just hope I'm not too late."

Staring in at the mature red-eyed man Near felt a little shaky and nervous. "Are you here to help me get out or to just stand there?" he asked in annoyance as the small boy stared in at him. Swallowing he nodded a bit, realizing he was holding a silver key in a blood drenched hand.

_How did that happen?_ He wondered curiously. _Did I really cut my hand open in the air vents escaping the apartment? I thought it was just my imagination…._

Mechanically his arm moved upward and slid the key into the lock, turning it, so that the iron padlocks all made a clicking noise before opening and hitting the ground. The last one was there, waiting to be unlocked and Near took a few steps back suddenly feeling timid. B tried to open the door but that one padlock kept it from coming all the way open and it only opened a very small fraction of the way. He slammed his body against it a few good times, before realizing it wasn't gonna budge without that last lock coming off.

"What the hell are you doing?" he growled glaring at Near. "Get rid of that last damn lock. Now!"

Suddenly it felt like he couldn't breath. Shaking he felt frozen where he stood as though someone was holding him in place. His eyes were wide in fear. What was happening? He had to undo that last lock! His body, unfortunately, disagreed with him staying still while B shouted for him to hurry up before more guards came. "I-I can't." he whispered shaking all over and feeling tears flood his vision getting ready to leak free.

"Yes. You. Can."

"N-no, I can't."

"I swear if you don't, Nate, I'll tear you to pieces as soon as I get out of here myself!"

"N-no…p-please…."

"Then hurry the hell up and unlock this damn door!"

Whimpering the small boy took a few stiff, timid steps forward. He slid the key into the last lock. It was like slow motion. The iron lock came undone and slowly fell hitting the ground soundlessly. All this while he hadn't been able to breath. It was like his mind was on a blinding fast-forward, but his body was stuck in an eternal pause unable to move or correctly process what was happening accurately. It felt like his mind was blanking out, but his consciousness wasn't letting that happen and so he stood there feeling utter nothingness until what felt like one or two eternities later.

The next thing that happened _didn't_ really happen. Near didn't feel it nor did he hear it. He didn't _really_ just stand there as Beyond jumped from the cell after shoving the door open and rushed him, shoving him to the ground and falling on top of him, clearly angry that he had hesitated.

It _must_ have been all in his head.

Beyond _wasn't_ really on top of him pinning him down so he was unable to struggle or break free from his rough grasp. His hands wrapped tightly around his throat. No, the oxygen _wasn't_ really cut off from his lungs. He _wasn't_ really starting to see darkness around the corners of his vision. It was all a dream. It _must_ have been a sick dream he was having back at the apartment. Soon, Mello or Matt would shake him awake, and then question him about his nightmares asking how they applied to reality. He wouldn't say anything. They wouldn't really care, but they would continue to prod him for answers in a caring or annoyed fashion.

Things would be okay, though, because _none_ of this was really happening.

* * *

**Wowz...just...wowz...**

**I'm cruel aren't I? *Evil smirk* Will Near die? Or shall he survive? Let's face facts in all honesty I could kill him off and end the story or-**

**I said 'OR'**

**Or he could survive and we can continue with the story. What shall it be? I'll let YOU, the reader, decide, kay?**

**Please PM me or Review to let me know what YOU think.**

**;^P**

**Aren't I just so deliciously cruel today? Mwahaha!**

**P.S. I shall not update until enough votes are in and until then I'll work on the story some more so I'll have future chappies already done, kay? So don't freak out. Lol.**

**X^3**

**Anywayz, I truly hope you enjoyed this chappie.**

**~With Luv, Fairylust~**


	15. Chapter 15

The hands loosened and eventually were gone.

He lay there frozen. Wide-eyed staring up at the ceiling feeling like everything was crashing down around and on him. His body shuddered a few times as spasms racked his body. He coughed out sobs, but other than that he seemed to be utterly gone. There were no speech or swift movements in an effort to escape. There were no signs whatsoever that he were still conscious of what was happening around him.

He could only stare up at the various ceilings as he was pushed to some sort of infirmary. Everything was muted, his breathing rapid and heart thundering in his chest while his eyes kept wide appearing fearful. His body felt a million degrees hotter. His muscles ached and he just wanted to make noise. Body trembling he felt that this perfect silence was impossible, too fake to be real. Involuntarily, he found some noise in the silent world. It took him a moment to realize it was he who made the clamor that shattered the silent world to pieces. He thrashed and screamed and sobbed and fought back as hard as he could.

"Calm down, kid!" a blonde woman shouted. "We need some anesthetic, quick!" She shouted to a man who stood busy across the room. He nodded and ran to get the medicine for the poor boy. "Hurry!" she called after him. Looking back to her young patient she hoped he would calm down, but no such things happened.

Wailing and fighting Near soon found himself on the ground unable to stand. What was that stinging feeling? He looked to see his knees were sliced open. _How did that happen?_ His mind screamed as he struggled to get away from all these people. The blood was pooling on the floor and he screamed even louder more from terror than the pain. _None of this is real._ The small boy thought distressed not too long before he found himself unconscious. _It is all a dream. I'll wake up, soon. I'll wake up._

Mello was surprised when he finally arrived. The small boy was tied down to a bed in the infirmary, heavily sedated. His knees were seriously bandaged. Though bloodstains could be seen behind the smooth, white bandages. There was visible bruising around his pale neck. He had bloodied welts on his torso, as well. Apparently, he had succeeded in getting B out of his cell and as feared the older male was enraged with him.

Apparently, Beyond had escaped before anyone could get to the room in time. They were lucky, a nurse said, they got help there for the wounded guards and Near. He had been strangled, lashed with a chain, and beat on while he lay there semi-conscious from what he had been told, anyway. The head physician said she guessed Near was really out of it when they got a hold of him. It was like he wasn't even there. His stormy eyes fluttered open, and then shut for a few minutes after they got him onto a stretcher, then his eyes snapped open and stayed open like he were in shock.

Near must have been in a severe state of shock because as soon as he grabbed a hold of his senses to move and talk they already had him dosed with tranquilizers and he was muttering about how he was in a bad dream. Mello figured it was an attempt for him to block out the bloodshed he caused, as well as B's betrayal. It probably really hurt him to be let down like he had been when all he needed from the older male was some help.

Mello wanted to ask the younger boy so many questions. He wanted the answers to some that puzzled and exasperated him. Mello truly wanted to grab hold of his pale, emaciated shoulders and shake him awake, and then yell at him for running off. He wanted to reprimand him. Or maybe thrash him black and blue for being senseless and letting B escape his imprisonment in the psycho ward.

Why couldn't he just have accepted their help in the first place? He was just so frustrating! Sitting next to him, waiting for him to wake up Mello kept his thoughts silent and to himself. There was so much to cover up and so much to speak with L about. They needed to help Near get out of this dilemma he got himself in. As it turns out court and society actually didn't take liberating a psychopathic serial killer too lightly…or kindly for that matter.

It was two and a half hours before Near gained consciousness. Taking a spot standing beside him Mello sighed watching as the albino's fingers moved slowly, grabbing the soft white sheets of the bed he had been left in by the infirmary staff. His owlish eyes blinked open and he stared at the young fair-haired man, who stood over him. For a mere moment he grinned, but then he realized he wasn't in the bedroom and scowled knowing something wasn't quite right.

How much had he imagined? What was real? Near felt so confused as he stared up at Mello. "Where am I?" He asked, groggily. "Why is Mello here?"

"You're in the asylum's infirmary. You broke in but you were caught on some cameras and the guards beat you up. I came here to get you, before you could get Beyond out of his cell."

"So," Near said slowly, "I did not succeed? That was just apart of the dream?"

Mello wanted more than anything to help Near get better, really badly, but Mello felt that if he told Near B was on the loose, then he'd lose whatever rational senses he had left in that thick skull of his and utterly lose it. "No, you sure didn't," he lied, "you are lucky you failed, actually. Anyway, just in case you don't recall I'll fill you in on some of the…uh…other details of your activities. Basically, you hurt yourself escaping and somehow got outside. You ran off from the apartment building. It really was an inconvenience when I found out that you cut somebody."

Near stared at him with a troubled look, ignoring it he continued speaking. "Long story short, until I saw you lying here all beat up, I was pissed. My overall plan was to get here to take you home, and then I had planned on beating some sense into your thick albino skull. I figure, though, that maybe you've been punished enough for one day. No doubt L will want to scold you or something. I'll leave it up to him and Matt to take action."

"I am sorry I escaped." Near whispered. "It was my fault. I had to see him. I figured he could help me remember…."

"Remember? Remember what, Near?"

"Why I am here. He always gave me a purpose."

"You mean he made you think you were his property and then gave you the thought that your purpose was to kill L?"

"It is…I mean…was, no…I don't know!" he said quietly, voice shaking and expression uncertain. "I'm…." He stopped himself at the last minute. He couldn't tell Mello how he was feeling. He'd never really told Beyond how he felt, unless forced to of course. It was so unnatural. It made him feel sick and wary and made him want to cry like a little kid at how pathetic he was just then. Mello picked up on his fear rather quickly. He let a gloved hand gently rest on Near's hand.

"It's okay. Don't be afraid. Whatever you're about to say just say it. I promise nothing bad will happen, okay?"

His cryptic gray eyes stared up at him doubtfully but he spoke up anyway deciding to just chance it. How could Mello hurt him any worse than Beyond used to? "I'm scared." He whispered looking sheepish and uncomfortable. Mello understood his feelings of embarrassment and stood silent. Near continued ignoring the fact a pale pink blush had spread on his face. "Matt and Mello tell me so many different things that make sense and appeal to my insides, but not to my brain. It's confusing and-"

"And you are beginning to doubt the path B laid out for you?"

He nodded. "I have never questioned it before." He looked at Mello with widened eyes that were slowly filling with tears, as his breathing grew rapid and unsteady. "I am scared. I could not stand hearing bad things about B nor could I stand being restrained to the bed anymore. I did not know what to do, Mello."

"Hmm, that all sounds depressing. I am sorry for your confusion but before I can help you I need to ask a few questions, kay?"

Near nodded.

"What insides are you referring to, exactly, Near?"

Near raised a shaky hand and placed his index finger to his chest where his heart was beating unsteadily. "This is where my insides agree and if I think different an unpleasant feeling arises. I try to not feel this way but I have recently discovered that I have no choice in the matter. If I ignore the unpleasant feeling it starts to become an ache and I fear I will die from heart failure."

"That's okay, Near, I understand what you're saying completely." Mello said brightly, smiling somewhat. Near stared at him in amazement, not originally thinking the blonde would agree with him. The younger boy had thought, secretly, Mello was perfect, now he was confessing to feeling such an unpleasant feeling and it made Near feel…not that different from him. "This is okay. It's good. It means you are starting to get better, Near."

"It does?"

"Yeah. Now, tell me if you've ever before felt like that, but Beyond somehow made you feel differently. Is that why you came here, subconsciously, maybe?"

Near thought about that and realized that could have been it, so he nodded. Mello seemed to give this thought before saying, "Would you tell me about it?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"For once, yes."

He looked incredulous. "Really?"

Mello nodded.

"Okay." He whispered. "I do not want to regret it, but I will tell, only if Mello promises to not to tell Matt or L anything said here."

"Sure." He said quietly. "I promise."

Taking a deep breath Near closed his eyes. His pale face looked so weary and delicate like that of a porcelain doll. In his mind, Mello guessed, he was going back in his memories and thinking of that day. It must have been painful. A pained look came to his face for a mere few seconds, then vanished and he seemed blank, though his eyes kept closed while he summoned up the memory he was so desperately trying to recall for Mello, who stood silently hoping he wasn't causing Near too much pain by having him remember something from his past with Beyond, but being as smart as he was Mello knew that no matter how much he hoped, Near was constantly going to be in pain when thinking back to being with Beyond. Causing pain was all the manic ever done to the poor boy. Near was quick to bring the blonde from his dour thoughts.

"Once, when I was ten Beyond brought home two puppies and a tiny kitten. He told me to play with them. I was hesitant to do so, but done as told and grew to like them. Then after about a month he made me watch as he dissected one of the puppies alive. I tried to hide the kitten and other puppy from him, but he got angry and made me give them to him, and then he shoved me in a closet. He locked the other puppy in with me after beating it to death with a boot. When he finally let me out he told me to kill the kitten. I didn't want to and got that ache in my chest. In the end, however, I done as told."

He opened his eyes staring up at the ceiling. Mello let out a shaky breath, having held his breath the entire time Near spoke. He felt bad for Near but didn't say anything until his judgment wasn't clouded by sympathy. It was like L said. He needed to think reasonably, not emotionally like he was used to. "Do you want to be like Beyond Birthday?" he asked coolly once he had reminded himself of who, Near, his once upon a time friend/secret crush, and what, a psychopathic albino youth in need of guidance, he was talking to. "Do you want to be a crazed, despondent serial killer like he intended?"

"No!" Near sobbed a bit, starting to fall apart. "I can't say I don't regret harming anyone because I do, but don't really give the people I have maimed, murdered, stolen from, or harmed in any other way a second though half the time, save for Matt, but that's just because…because…he's just Matt! Mello _must_ understand that! I hate myself. I don't want to be like Beyond. I don't want to be a monster anymore. I-I just don't understand why I am starting to feel these things…what's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you it's because the rehabilitation is beginning to work, I guess. You're mind is trying to tell you to do as you've been taught, but the respectable part of you knows better than that, despite what your mind may tell you. Your heart knows the difference between what is right and wrong. You choose right and that's great. I'm willing to help you stay on this path if and only if you will do, at least, two of three things for me."

"What are they?"

"One: I want you to promise to stick with Matt and me and do as we say. You must behave yourself if you're going to get help through this rough patch you're going through, okay? Another thing you must do is trust us. We aren't like Beyond, Near, we just want to help you. Nobody has any intentions to harm you, okay?"

Near nodded.

"Okay, second: you have to be open. I don't you saying you can't tell us something or that you have forgotten, because we both know you have a damn good memory. Being open will help you in the long run, too, okay?"

"Very well." Near grumbled. "I'll consider it. What is the third circumstance?"

"Try, you don't have to if you don't want to, but try to get along with us. We are your friends whether you want us to be or not. Despite torturing and raping him, Matt still wants to have something to do with you and I'm sticking by the both of you jerks until we die or decide to separate for the betterment of our lives. The psychotherapy thing can be a once a week thing if you try to be sane. Think about before Beyond and about when you were happy. Think of your mother. I remember you used to blab about how happy you were with her. Just think, would she be happy with how you've turned out?"

"No." Near murmured. He hadn't thought of his mother in the longest of times. "She would be disappointed." And he knew deep within himself that this was the truth.

She had been thin, graceful in movement. Her hair was bordering on white and her eyes had been a muddy red. She hid them behind forest green contacts she had bought for a fair price. She had only made two mistakes in her lifetime that Near knew of before child services separated them. Her first was getting involved with a worthless jerk, Near's father, who two-timed her and abandoned her a week before their child was born. And her second was giving up her dream to be a ballerina in order to care for a sickly child. The years took their toll as she faced choosing between a nice boyfriend, who on the downside had a dislike of children, and her own five-year-old son.

Well, after ten days of being absent from kindergarten an investigation revealed that Nate River had been staying at home, laying in bed with bandages wrapped around his head and a wet rag draped over his eyes, because his mother's boyfriend had cracked his skull open in a fit of jealousy. His mother was too panicked to take him to a hospital, afraid she would be blamed, and then lose her son. But when the matter was taken to court there seemed to not be any excuse for her actions. The man responsible for causing the injury claimed the boy's mother favored her child over her lover and so he tried to 'compel' her to change her mind and things just got carried away when the small boy tried to interfere.

When nice-looking adults asked him questions he answered them honestly. He could still remember those questions so well.

_"Does your mother take good care of you?"_

_"Yes ma'am. Mama always watches me and kisses me and hugs me. Mama is really nice and perfect."_

_"Has she been at home recently?"_

_"No sir, she's been with her boyfriend, but always locks doors and plays with me before she goes."_

_"Does she ever have her boyfriend at your house?"_

_"Uh-huh, but she tells me to stay in my room."_

_"Has your mother ever hit you before?"_

_"Only when I back-talk or take something that isn't mine from a store. She gets red-faced and yells and smacks me. I have to say 'I am sorry' and give the stuff back. But I know that when she hits it's just because I am being bad."_

_"Does your mother ever cook for you before she leaves the house?"_

_"Yes, sir, Mama always makes me a snack or tells me where I can get a small snack in case I am hungry."_

_"Does she take care of you when you're sick?"_

"Uh-huh. Mama always takes me to the doctor and he gives me some indecent medicine that I take and get better."

The one he could never forget was the one that changed his life and helped seal the deal that he and his mother would be separated.

_"What happened to your head? Did you fall down some stairs?"_

_"No, ma'am. My mama's boyfriend got angry because she said she had to stay home with me Saturday. She promised we would play kites together. He hit mama and I got scared, so I tried to make him stop, but he hit me and I went comatose for a bit. When I woke up Mama said I should keep still because my head was hurt. I said 'okay' and she sat with me singing until I went to sleep."_

They never got to fly kites together that Saturday.

It was part of that statement they used in court to claim his mother had neglected to get him the proper medical care he needed. Her lawyer claimed that she was a good mother, just confused about how to take action when the law would blame her for the abuse when it wasn't her fault. This did not hold when the jury heard that his mother could have stopped the abuse on her child but failed to do so, instead she stood by and watched, too horrified to do anything, though they did not mention _that_ in court. She was a single mother and knew of her lover's resentment towards children, the prosecutor claimed, therefore she was unfit to keep Nate River in her custody because she was negligent and refused to do the right thing when the chance had presented itself.

If she had cared for her son, the prosecutor had also claim, she would have called the police when the infuriated man was abusing him.

She had not called the police or an ambulance or anything. She risked the life of her own five-year-old child to cover up for her boyfriend's stupid mistake. Near knew this wasn't true, though. She loved him more than anything else in the world, but she also loved her stupid, abusive boyfriend. It was hard for her to choose, so she tried her best to care for him and hoped that nobody would find out about the abuse they both endured, him physically and her emotionally, as well as physically.

Well, a person did and as soon as they finished with them in court a man in a gray suit was assigned to go to their home and remove the boy as soon as possible. Near still recalled how his mother had held his tiny hand, crying as she led him down the stairs and to the front door where the man stood. "Be a good boy, please, be a good boy." she had sobbed sadly. "I love you, Nate."

He'd cried and begged and pleaded to stay with her but he was carried off and sat in the backseat of a car. He tried to get out but the doors were locked. He recalled being scared and sad and a bunch of other emotions that he no longer really felt as strongly. He recalled looking through the window at his mother who stood on the porch of their home sobbing, shoulders heaving, hands covering her face. And that was the last he saw of his mother, ever.

From there it was just getting kicked around foster homes, orphanages, and agencies, until finally Quillish Whammy discovered him. He got shipped to Whammy's and the rest was, as they say, history. Now, in the present, as he lay there with Mello beside him he decided that he wouldn't last much longer if he kept it up.

He needed help.


	16. Chapter 16

**Update time! This is an update that I hope isn't too long or short because it sucks when people nag me about screwing up the length of the story or chappie, which I hope isn't much of a problem here.**

**Anywayz, as stated before: UPDATE TIME!**

**Who's excited? Me! You, too?**

**Yayz! I'm glad.**

**;3**

**~Luffles,** **Fairylust~**

* * *

Before he would have scoffed or swore at anyone who said, let alone thought that. But as he thought about it Near realized he couldn't discern what was real and what wasn't. He had imagined hurting a bunch of guards and releasing Beyond from his prison. Not to mention, he had murdered people because of paranoia, a need to have a purpose, and a psychotic drive for revenge that was for Beyond Birthday, not him. He had given up his body, plus his soul, time and time again to feel accepted and loved by the one person who made his life hell. He was distant and frightened of people, because of the abuse forced on him.

His imagination ran away with him, far too much, he knew. For cripes sake, he had imagined Beyond was talking to him telling him to kill Mello just a few months beforehand!

Yeah…he needed help, he was sure of that now.

Sucking in a breath of cool, sterile air he looked into soft blue eyes before turning his gaze away. He wanted to change. It wasn't like it was going to be easy. B had taught him pretty good. Near was too tired. He was just too tired to do it anymore.

All he wanted was some happiness to return to his life, maybe a bit of freedom wouldn't hurt either. He was feeling drained. Yet he was also at peace now as his breathing steadied out and he made up his mind about what to do next. Near stared up at the ceiling of the room. The albino teen was pretty sure Mello thought he was a freak and didn't want to make eye contact with him anymore. His breathing had slowed and his eyes hung half lidded, there was a hazy quality to their stormy gray depths that Mello hadn't noticed before. He was curious about what Near was thinking as his eyes closed, he was in serious thought that much was obvious, as the younger boy's body tensed Mello got a good guess about what it was that Near was thinking of.

Near seemed to snap out of his thoughts with a small whimper staring up at Mello shakily, unsure if it were the wise thing to do. "I-I want to…change…but I can't…."

"Sure you can, stupid."

"No, I _can't_. I may want to but how could I ever forget-"

"What B taught you? How do you erase your past? Why try? It seems pointless seeing as the damage has already been done? Sins and Hell and all that other stuff?"

Near gave a small, weary nod.

"You can't forget, Near. That is the blunt, undeniable truth. You can only try and change and forget about everything Beyond has done to you, which will probably be seared in your memory for like, ever. That doesn't mean that you necessarily have to be corrupt like him. Please, Near, just give getting better a try and I promise Matt and me will do our best to help."

The albino child looked ready to argue. Mello beat him to speaking, fixing him with a cold, azure glare. "He's not going to hurt you ever again if I have anything to say about it, Near. I care about you and when I care about people I do my best to protect them, you got that?"

Near felt a jolt of shock and appeared utterly amazed with what Mello had said. Did he really mean that? He sounded so fierce and somber about it that it was hard to say he was lying or just making something up. It made Near's icy blood melt and his heart speed up a bit. It was clear Mello wasn't comfortable with their situation now, probably embarrassed by what he just said to the younger boy. Taking a small step back the blonde hoped Near didn't view him as being weak or anything, because he would _so_ snap the younger boy's arm to prove he wasn't.

"What?" he asked seeing Near looking at him. It made him even more uncomfortable with the situation. "Stop staring at me like I'm a bloody freak! What the hell is your deal?"

"I assumed Mello hated me."

"What made you assume that?"

"He hits me." Near murmured avoiding eye contact with the blonde. "And yells at me. Mello ties me up to the bedpost and he forces me to eat only liquid meals."

"Near, that is all for your own good. The reason for the yelling and hitting is because you are so damn stubborn." He paused, sighed, and then turned to look sympathetically at the younger boy. "I'm sorry, but I am not about to let you walk all over me. I don't take kindly to anyone who thinks they can." Near looked at him wearily, seeming to not have anything to really say back to him about that.

"Anyway, I'm gonna trust you, Near."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm gonna trust that you mean what you say and aren't just lying to get away from me…and try to let B out…again."

"No." Near muttered with a small, empty grin. "I promise to behave. I really do mean what I say, Mello. I really don't and never did want to be this way. Who wants to be an evil murdering psychopath? It's just that torture and time don't work that well on a person's psyche, Mello. I do want to change…really…I want to be different than what B made me."

"Yeah, you really look like it." Mello muttered giving the boy a hard stare. Near looked utterly hopeless and in some way mortified. His face was changing to a light pink color and his eyes avoided contact with Mello's at all costs, it seemed. What did he have to be embarrassed about? "Sorry, but you just don't look serious about this."

"Oh, but I am, Mello, really I am." He insisted quietly, and then said with an undertone of despair, "I just feel that I am a broken puzzle Matt and Mello won't ever bring together."

"Hmm, we aren't good with puzzles but we're smart enough to solve one, so I think we'll manage to put you together just fine."

Near didn't respond. He just stared into space, looking desolate. Mello talked to him some more but he never responded. He seemed lost in his own little world. It worried Mello to a certain extent, but also made him a bit happy. Near didn't really seem like anything and that was okay, because judging from the small spark of serenity in his eyes he was happy about his choice, too.

Once they got back to the apartment Mello had Near sitting on the couch, ankles tied up and hands cuffed behind his back, because he still didn't trust him fully. Both Matt and L sat with him in the kitchen. They spoke quietly, so he couldn't hear anything they said. He just sat there staring into space feeling like he really messed everything up. It was like all the things wrong in life were his fault…yet he knew they weren't and he felt more than just discontent because of this.

"So," Matt said glancing into the other room, "you honestly think he'll behave?"

"I dunno." Mello replied quietly. "I'm willing to give him a chance though. I mean, back in the infirmary it was like he really didn't want to be the way he is, but it was also like he didn't know any other way to act. He seemed scared and confused and remorseful, so I'm willing to give him another chance."

"What of Beyond? Do you think he won't be after him? As far as he is concerned Near is an experiment…a loose end. He will kill him if he knew about any of this. Though I do agree with your sentiments Mello. Near deserves a chance to prove he can change. The fact he has admitted to wanting to change his ways implies that he needs your help now more than ever."

"Our help?" Matt snorted. "Why us? Why not you?"

"Well, if he wasn't so obsessed with slitting my throat I would gladly help, besides I can't stay here much longer. I've work to do elsewhere."

"Nice excuse."

"Thank you."

"Listen!" Mello hissed. "How are we supposed to protect him if B finds a way in here? I mean, I promised him I would keep him from getting and lied to him about B getting away. He thinks it was all some crazy dream or something!"

"Seriously?"

"Oh dear."

"Yeah. What am I gonna do if Beyond finds us here and decides to take Near back? It isn't like Matt and me are gonna be able to stop him if he catches us off guard. And if I break this promise to Near I'm afraid he might snap under the shock and misfortune of it all."

"Be careful and discreet until I can find and trap him. He will kill again and as soon as he does I'll assume he'll make his self-known if not for me then to let Near know he's out there waiting for him. Anyway, Mello, Matt if you can question him inconspicuously, thoroughly about where Beyond and he might have met up if they had ever planned a break out."

"Right." Matt muttered. "What if he asks why?"

"Be conspicuous about it!" Mello snapped sardonically. He lowered his voice when he saw Near was peeking in at them from where he sat. "No, seriously, Matt, be subtle and make up a lie. If you can't do that right then let me do it."

"Fine." Matt said rolling his eyes. "I can do that."

"I trust the two of you will protect him and teach him how to behave properly. I give you my trust more so than Matt, Mello, seeing as you are clearly, somewhat, sane and determined to help Near. I just hope you realize how crucial it is that you help him get better. He is very smart and would do more good if you manage to fully restore his sanity."

"I understand, L. And am willing to do whatever it takes to get him back to sanity."

"That's an excellent attitude you have, Mello." He commented with a smirk, though his eyes just looked bored with the situation. "It's a good thing to hear."

In the living room Near could only make out a few words. He was straining to hear, but still got the message that L was leaving. Putting him in the custody of Matt and Mello, who both seemed sort of unnerved at the idea, thought Matt more than Mello.

Staring at the carpeted floor he felt rather upset and worried. Did they know he was beyond saving? That it was much too late for him? Did they know he was already much too far gone to be helped? If they did he wondered why they even bothered bringing him back here. Why not dump him in the asylum with B? Or just tie a rope around his neck take him deep into some woods where nobody would hear the sound of a shotgun going off.

Wouldn't that solve their problem?

Feeling real uncomfortable he flinched when the three entered the room. What were their plans for him? He had no idea, but stared from one to the other feeling like he did when he first awoke in his clutches. L waved to him before leaving. The door closed behind him with an almost silent sound as the wood scraped against the doorway and the lock clicked into place. His attention quickly went to the two other teens.

Suddenly, Mello took hold of his arms making him whimper. Matt undid the bonds on his ankles, but he kicked at him causing the redhead to growl quietly in frustration. Mello kept hold of his waist when Matt finally managed to get to the handcuffs. He struggled a bit at first, making a strange droning humming noise.

"Shhh, it's okay." Mello whispered keeping hold of the younger boy. "Take it easy, Near."

"That is hard when Mello is holding me this way."

"Sorry but it is necessary to insure you won't try to claw Matt to death or escape."

"Hmm, so you do not trust me?"

"Hardly."

"Wise decision."

"Chatter, chatter, chatter!" Matt said with a smirk as he continued with his work finding amusement in how the two exchanged short sentences that seemed to make up a whole conversation. "Is that all you two lovebirds can do?" he teased. "I can just tell you love each other so much!" he laughed with sarcasm.

"Oh, shut your gob Matt!" Mello snapped blushing. "The sooner Near gets better the sooner we can dump his sorry ass somewhere else."

"Not an orphanage or foster home, I hope." Near muttered. "Those places would mop the floor with someone like me. It would be horrible and I just might have a relapse."

"Oh, shut up. If you relapse then I'll relapse you black and blue."

Near ignored him. "It would be dreadful if I slaughtered them all as they slept or beheaded a disciplinarian. I would get scared and run away. I could never feel safe anywhere without knowing whom I am with. I get paranoid, at times, you know."

"Well, then why not stick around with us?" Matt asked. "It'll be interesting."

"Okay." Near said.

"No!" Mello snapped.

"Yeah!" Matt cheered. "Kay let's go!" he said practically grabbing Near from Mello and dragging him to the kitchen. Mello sighed crossly, following thinking and starting to believe they were stuck with Near for good.

* * *

**Did this chappie make you smile or what? *Sarcasm* I've got a good feeling about this.**

***Winks***

**Don't you?**

**X3**

**Well, I hope that this was satisfying and that you will love the next few chappies I've got waiting for you as much as the previous.**

**~Sincerely, Fairylust~**


	17. Chapter 17

**Finished Nearly Gone, figured I'd best get to work on this one.**

**;D**

**If anyone has any ideas, then please submit them to me. I need all the help I can get. ****Please enjoy this chappie.**

**:3**

**~Luv, Fairylust~**

* * *

Later that same week Mello and Matt realized that Near was actually, really, honestly, and truly trying to make an effort in getting better. He done as told…most of the time, he done his best to restrain any sarcastic or smart comments half the time, and he also seemed to give the liquid diet a try up until Mello told him he could stop and try eating solid foods, which at first made him a little sick.

Near seemed to struggle with being as humanly normal as he possibly could. He tried to sit normally and talk normally and move about normally, hell he even tried to _breathe_ normally and Mello wasn't sure how his breathing was considered strange! But sure enough if he was sitting and thinking to himself and someone asked what he was up to he would say he was practicing his breathing. It was dreary to hear him say, but always a bit bright as well, seeing as he was attempting to try something different.

After a while though, Mello dismissed this breathing idea as being utter nonsense, seeing as it was normal to just breathe if you were alive. Near was asked to come up with a better excuse for doing nothing but staring and thinking, which he really didn't even attempt. Any excuse would be unnecessary. He would just say he was thinking about something if asked what then he would shrug and say it wasn't anyone's business but his own to know what he was thinking. This earned him an amused smirk from Matt and a long icy glare from a pouting Mello, but in the end they both shrugged and went off to do something else.

"You better not hog all the warm water!" Mello shouted to Near, who was currently in the shower. "Evil brat." He muttered to himself, exhaling quietly. The blonde knew that by saying the words 'not to' Near would do it to just spite him and Matt. It was sometimes hilarious but not so much under certain circumstances. He smirked recalling when he'd told Near to leave Matt's games alone, but he did the opposite and got scolded by the redhead. Mello chuckled quietly to himself as he got his hidden laptop from underneath the bed and started to type.

"I'm serious, Near!" he shouted. "You better leave us some hot water tonight!"

"Fine." He heard Near's empty reply over the sounds of running water behind the closed bathroom door. Mello knew what he actually meant and only a few moments later were those words spoken. "Whatever, Mello. It's not like I care." Near called back much to the blonde's partial annoyance while an amused smirk played on his lips.

He actually liked Near's newfound defiance. It was so normal for his age and fit him well, though he were a bit hesitant to backtalk or purposely anger someone with his actions. Mello was about to yell for Matt when he remembered that Matt was out with L helping him hack into some computer system that Beyond had raided for information some time ago. After that it's security and anti-hacking software had been upgraded, so Matt was actually having one hell of a time getting in. "What were you after, you sick freak." The blonde wondered aloud to himself.

Meanwhile, Near stepped from the shower figuring to not tempt either Mello or Matt to be angry at him. They never really hit him out of anger, not since that night he was brought back there bandaged up and sobbing how sorry he was for running away. The two older boys were actually more patient with him. Still, he recalled the treatment he received while with Beyond and the treatment they gave him the first few nights and he felt it was best to not risk doing anything to make them too upset at him. They were only trying to help him, after all. He thought he could cut them some slack for once.

Sighing Near stepped out of the bathroom wrapped up in soft, fluffy white towels that were very nice against his skin. Smiling a bit he noticed that the blonde across the room was watching something on the laptop he kept hidden underneath the bed. Being as quiet as he could he soon found himself stooped over and watching as some dark figure moved about in dark rooms. "What is that?" he asked curiously making Mello jump.

The blonde was quick to slam the laptop shut so hard that Near thought it was broken from how much force was used to simply close it. Near backed away a bit seeing the cold glare Mello gave him. Mello couldn't really believe the way Near looked. His face was flushed a pinkish red color and droplets of water slid down his face a bit from his white hair that was probably sopping wet beneath that towel cap he had fashioned. Blue eyes suddenly found themselves going down. I never realized how girlish his figure is. Mello realized feeling a bit disgusted with himself afterwards. I wondered

Staring down at the carpeted floor, as if he were some guilty toddler, of their room Near figured it was about time that he got yelled at, but instead Mello looked him over once and then he left the room with the laptop. Not saying a word. Feeling confused Near got dressed as quickly as he could and followed him out the door to the living room where he sat typing furiously. "Is everything okay?" he forced himself to say not used to asking such a question.

"You know, whatever."

"Okay." He muttered twiddling a strand of white hair. "Are you sure? Mello seems to be a bit troubled about something." He let his hand fall to his side and noticed that the blonde teen refused to look at him anymore and seemed to be trying his best to ignore his presence. "No, not really." He replied trying to ignore Near. He was very irritated, mostly at himself. "Go to bed and be good." Pouting Near crossed his arms in front of his chest defiantly.

"Why should I?" he demanded.

"Just do it!" Mello snapped glaring up at him from his seat on the sofa. One hand closed the laptop while the other was balled into a fist at his side on a cushion, pressing down into the soft fabric. Surprised at the sudden burst of anger Near nodded meekly, promptly disappearing quickly. Sitting there he growled angrily at himself.

_Near was so cute._ He thought looking at the boy's moist, pale skin that was light pink and still damp from the hot water. His hair was no doubt soaked and lying down as though it was neatly combed, but wasn't really. And his lips were….

_Oh, hell, no!_ He screamed at himself before getting up. "Stupid, evil little seductive brat." He muttered to himself. _Why am I thinking this way he's Near, he's a…a…a…._

"Stupid brat!" he shouted kicking the nearby coffee table over.

* * *

**Timeskip!**

Sitting on the sofa a few afternoons later with Matt's small blue ipod in his lap and white earphones sort of blending in against his skin and hair Near silently memorized the lyrics to the song Impossible by some singer called Shontelle. As that song ended he realized the beginning music for Dare You to Move. It was by some band that decided to call itself Switchfoot. _It's a weird name._ Near thought reciting the lyrics to himself. It ended after a few minutes. That was when Manafest came on and he recognized this song as the one called Impossible. He had decided the first few times he listened to it that he liked it. It seemed to sum up how he felt about his life thus far. Near tensed when he felt someone plop down beside him.

"How are you?" Mello's voice asked. Near glanced to him to see he was watching him from the corner of his eye. "Are you okay or not?" he asked running a hand through his blonde hair for a moment before resting it beside his leg on the cushion of the couch. He sounded impatient when he asked. "Matt thinks you're depressed." He stated bluntly, looking uncomfortable. "Hmm." Was all Near said in reply. It was a sound of musing and uncertainty.

It was fairly annoying to Mello.

Here he was showing concern for the little psychotic brat and he wouldn't even level with him. It was so frustrating! Sighing and crossing his arms at his chest the blonde glared into space. Near stared blankly into space listening to the lyrics and no longer thinking of anything other than how annoyed the blonde seemed to be with him. "Why does Mello hate me?" he asked quietly after half of a minute. "I can understand the past why, but…why now? I am trying just like he said I should. I try my best to behave and follow Matt and Mello's rules. I do my best to not make them mad, so why is Mello angry with me?"

"I just asked how you were doing."

"Fine."

"Are you sure about that?"

"No."

"Uh-huh."

"Mello dodged my last question." Near pointed out, looking at Mello sharply. "Why does he hate me now?"

"I don't hate you, Near." Mello murmured. He squirmed a bit where he sat, still looking more than uncomfortable now. His blue orbs looked embarrassed and angry. Near wasn't sure why but felt the anger and shame were his fault. Why not? Mello seemed okay before he ever came into the picture. He poisoned the poor blonde and was probably ruining his life. Mello didn't say anything for a few minutes trying to compile his thoughts into words.

"I feel frustrated with myself." Mello admitted. "I can see you are trying and doing your best but I keep thinking back to the one thing I know you're doing wrong and it bothers me. I know to trust you, but…." His voice trailed off prompting Near to lean towards him a bit, and then move back when the blonde gave him a look of exasperation. "Look, all the time we've been spending together has been bringing some feelings to surface. And then I start the self-doubt and question myself, which then makes room for questioning you, and then that brings the self-loathing." His face was flushed a light shade of rosy red at this point. "I-it's just confusing, Near, you wouldn't understand."

Near didn't question him. He knew Mello was right. He knew nothing of feelings whatsoever seeing as he learned to block them out a long time ago. It was best to not question the blonde, he decided and focused on what bothered, as well as worried him the most. "What have I done wrong?" he asked quietly pausing the ipod once the song he currently listened to ended.

"You've said it yourself." He said looking to Near still a little flushed at what he said before. "You are playing by our rules, Near. Not your own. And that's just not how things really work. You have got to do what _you_ believe to be right not what others tell you is right. If you think one of the rules are unfair then feel free to break it or whatever, you know. Rules are made to be broken, you know."

"They are?"

"Of course they are!" Mello nodded and started to tell Near of some of the times he and Matt broke the rules back at the orphanage. The younger boy listened in a manner that was rather patient. He smiled a bit and laughed a little some other times. It was nice to hear a pleasant sound come from him for once. He was such a great kid, Mello realized, once he got better and he got to know him a bit better. Smiling, the blonde wrapped an arm around the smaller boy's shoulders happily.

Near flinched a bit but relaxed after a few minutes. He had learned as well as accepted to trust Mello by now. After a few minutes of silence between them Near was about to say something when the door slammed opened and Matt came in tossing a load of clothes at them grumpily. Both noticed the bubbles in his short red hair. Mello looked ready to ask when Matt snapped at him, "Next time do your own damn laundry!" he headed off grumbling, the only words Near could make out were, "Stupid bitch…."

"Mello…"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you holding me so close?" he asked blushing a bit. Near found that he blushed a lot around Mello and Matt too much. Around Mello he blushed real easily. He didn't understand why, but felt that he should have. "Oh, my bad!" he got up quickly rubbing the back of his head awkwardly before heading off to find Matt and discuss the matter of what happened at the Laundromat.

Toying with the earphones a bit he sat thinking of why he was so shy around the blonde. It wasn't like they were that close or really knew all too much about each other to be very close. All he really knew was that Mello liked sweets, had a thing for dark colors, seemed to like violence, and was rather nice despite his harsh words and tough actions.

Sounds of fighting from the other room drew Near to his feet. Gently tossing the ipod to the couch the violence was soon reeling him in towards the kitchen, slowly. He peered in to see Mello holding Matt in a headlock for some unknown reason, apparently having a 'small' disagreement with him. He stepped in timidly being noticed almost immediately by the two scuffling teens.

"I will be going to bed now…." He said rather emotionlessly, misery clouding his eyes blotting out whatever brightness might have shone. "Please, don't kill each other while I am asleep. If you do then please make sure that you kill me first." He was probably kidding but the blank misery made it sound more serious than what he probably intended.

"Okay." Matt muttered awkwardly. He tried to grin, but being in a headlock made it sort of difficult for him. "Yeah, sure, if that's what you want then we could use a hammer and-" He was trying to joke, but Mello cut him off with a sharp squeeze to his throat that made him temporarily choke.

"Night." Mello said not making any promises. He let Matt go and straightened himself up brushing his shirt like he was wiping off some invisible filth. "I'm gonna be there soon to make sure the room is sealed tight. Sleep well. See you tomorrow. And whatever else will get you through the night."

"Hopefully." Matt mumbled giving a yawn from where he was across the room, leaning against the counter. As soon as Near was gone he stretched his arms out for a minute. "I don't get why we have to keep watching him. I mean, he's made excellent progress. Sure the kid is kinda depressed and at times overly anxious, but why are we still watching him?"

"Because L told us to."

"And? We've disobeyed him before. If you don't recall, then I shall gladly remind you of the time we were caught doing some pretty-"

"Shut up!" the blonde snapped, blushing a bit. After a full minute or so he relaxed looking his friend over for a trace of shame, but only found amusement. "Are you talking about that Easter? When you were like twelve? Or are you talking about the day before Christmas incident? Or maybe you mean the whole Labor Day misunderstanding?"

"Noooo." His friend said slowly, shaking his head for a minute, as he stretched the word out. "I mean Easter. When Linda walked in on us with Abby and Jackie. I mean when you were going through that…confused phase? I mean when we-"

"I know! Okay? I remember! Just shut up about it! And if I recall you swore to not ever tell anyone."

"Yeah, but I _didn't_ have to because those stupid girls _did_!" He laughed, ducking when a chair was thrown his way. It smashed a hole in the wall behind him, breaking some items on the counter and losing two legs in the process. "Calm down, Mello! I was just messing around!"

"Shut the hell up! You might have no shame about it but it's still bugging me, so just shut up about it! You have no idea what sort of disgrace and humiliation I went through that year and the next year's spring!"

"Please, maybe if you weren't so self-conscious then you wouldn't have been so easily taunted. I mean, they bugged me about what we did too but I just shrugged them off, you know? Not like it really meant anything."

"Well keep your mouth shut about it around any and everyone else we may come in contact with."

"Even Near?" Matt asked, getting an inquisitive look upon his face. He watched as Mello's face went a bright red. It was obvious what his answer was going to be before he even spoke it.

"Especially not Near!"

"You mean, Near can't even know about it? I mean, really who is the kid gonna tell and why would he? He's a recovering psycho genius that basically just lays around here depressed all day, sometimes muttering to himself."

"He could use it to screw around with my mind and escape, you blockhead!"

"Well, you guys already sleep together, so does it really matter?"

"You're sick. You're a sick bastard, Matt! Why the hell are you, of all people, my best friend? Out of like eighteen other genius kids at Whammy's why did I pick you? Tell me how that happened! Because at the moment I have a hard time believing we could ever really have formed a friendship."

"Well, some kids were teasing me because I was shy my first day there and you stopped them from harassing me and I started to tag around you because I realized all the other kids tried to not make you angry and you said if I did that then we were friends forever. However, Mello, I do recall that short period where I kept my distance after seeing you beat up an older boy during one of you infamous temper tantrums. You got lonely and eventually asked me to be your _best_ friend. That's how it happened if I do recall."

"Why did I screw my life up?" the blonde muttered. "Why couldn't I have made friends with someone who didn't grow to have such a vulgar sense of humor? How were you the third smartest kid at Whammy's?"

"Umm, natural ability to absorb knowledge when I only pay half-attention?"

"You suck."

"Oh, what was that?" Matt asked in a quiet tone like he hadn't heard what was said. "I suck you? I believe I did…that Easter!"

"Again will you shut the hell up about it? God, that was just a one time thing and you know it you filthy pervert!"

Sticking his tongue out Matt looked ready to make a run for it. "Make me!" he shouted childishly heading for the doorway.

* * *

**Humorous? Yay or Nay?**

**I tried to add some humor to the darkness of this story. A little while after posting this I'm gonna put up a poll that I hope you will all vote at. It's vital to the completion of this story, kay?**

**~Luffles, Fairylust~**


	18. Chapter 18

**Update! No suggestions? Anybody? *Shrugs* Oh, well, guess I'll have to keep up with this course and to be honest I like where it's heading. Sorry if this is too short for your tastes but I did this quick-like because, you know, it was the holidays.**

**I did edit and I think that improved it.**

**;)**

**Hope this chappie satisfies and I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving! 83**

**~Luffles, Fairylust~**

* * *

Near panted quietly as he slept.

The noises outside the room made his already bad dreams take a _very_ bad turn. Secretly, he'd been having these dreams for a long while, ever since he returned from the hospital, actually. Sometimes he woke up feeling like vomiting or he'd just lay staring at the ceiling or, if they were really bad, Near would just…cry. He never told anyone, though. Near didn't want to make the dreams a reality or chance it by telling Mello or Matt. Neither of them _had_ to know. They would just want to. So he just kept quiet about it and continued to suffer through them as he slept, waking to confusion and emotional agony. Near whimpered a little, his head turning sharply to the side while the rest of his body shook in fear, tears slipping from the corners of his eyes.

"_Please don't hurt me anymore." He whispered to the new tormenter of his dreams, yet the same person seemed to be the only angel in his life. "I didn't…mean to…to hurt anyone…."_

"_Are you afraid?" He asked. His lips brushed against Near's pale ones, tongue licking a bit at them trying to entice Near to give him access. He obeyed and immediately felt that tongue feeling around the inside of his mouth. It made his stomach lurch and body quake in more than fear. His fingers entangled in snowy locks. He gave a sharp tug when he received no answer from his defenseless prisoner. "Well? Are you?"_

"_Yes…."_

"_What did you say?"_

"_Yes! Yes! I am scared."_

"_Scared of what?" he asked, looking the pale body over excitedly. It was such a familiar look. Hands were soon roaming and he couldn't help but to try and shove his tormenter away before he hurt him. A hand promptly slapped him across the face. "Stop fighting! Answer the damn question, you little brat!"_

"_I'm scared! I'm just scared!"_

_He watched as a thoughtful look came over his new master's face. He shrugged and kept with the touching but then started kissing. Near squirmed whimpering at the touches, face turning a hue of reddish pink. He didn't know what to do anymore. The fear was overwhelming. Whimpering and sobbing he tried more feebly to push away the elder male. He didn't want these heated touches to continue up his beaten frail frame that was shaking all over in a combination of anxiety and panic._

"_Please, stop it!"_

"_Why should I? You haven't addressed me properly. You deserve punishment for that and much more."_

_He looked up at his tormentor, his master, and his angel all in one, through a veil of black lashes. He whimpered seeing his master, who suddenly held a knife letting it caress pale skin. First it was below his knee then traced up to his thigh and up to his hip and paused when it stopped just below his belly. Ebony eyes scanned the room for his previous torture weapon. The tormenter had already discarded the whip that he'd used to beat his victim into submission with. It was nowhere in sight and it made him quake a bit harder. Better the blunt sharp bite of a whip than a slow, cruel stinging cut of a knife. Near whimpered a bit too loudly as a hand stroked his naked thigh. Black painted nails were soon dragging up said thigh letting droplets of blood to blossom in their path. He disserved everything he got, though he couldn't help but to flinch away at the fiercely passionate touch._

"_I am waiting." He said, sounding a bit impatient. "Or do you want me to keep up this torment?"_

"_Please, master, please…stop it."_

_He screamed in agony as he felt arms pin him down. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he yelped struggling to get out of this hold. "Please, Mello, I'm sorry!" he felt the knife as it sliced through his soft skin. _My fault!_ His mind screamed. He knew it was because he knew to never address his master by his name._

_Screaming in terror he only saw through a thin veil of red and gold afterwards._

He sat straight up soon after his eyes tore open. Tears were pouring down his face and he felt chilled to his bones. He wasn't alone in the room. A light was on in the bathroom pouring from beneath the door. Swallowing, heart pounding in his chest he got up and realized he wasn't wearing a pajama shirt. Blushing an even brighter red he grabbed it from where he'd tossed it on the floor and put it on buttoning it up.

He went to the bedroom door, attempted to open it but found that it was locked. He was sure they'd began to trust him, but quickly realized it wasn't meant to be real, just good enough so he didn't snap at them or do something they labeled as crazy. Frustrated, he tried to climb into the vent again, only to find it was bolted shut tight. And any other means of escape had been corrected.

He realized immediately that he was truly trapped in the room.

As if that realization, which sent dread and trepidation throughout his being a sudden unnoticed noise became louder and he froze. "What do you think you're doing?" a voice asked as the bathroom door opened. He turned slowly knowing that voice too well from his nightmare. He stared meekly at the blonde, as he stood halfway across the room. "Gods, are you trying to escape again? What the hell? I thought you'd gotten over this, Near!"

"I-I did. I was just seeing if…if things have changed."

"No." he sighed. "And they probably won't for a long while, not until we're sure your sanity is at least halfway back. And as you may have guessed we really don't think it is." he then added looking rather morose, "You should get back to sleep."

"I'm not tired, Mello." He said, flushing more so knowing what awaited him once he was asleep. "I want to go outside and get fresh air to think."

"Tomorrow." Mello said sounding rather weary of him. It made Near realize how big of a nuisance he was. "Sleep now. It's not like the world is gonna go anywhere. It is, after all, already today in Austria. Or something like that."

Nodding Near climbed onto the bed, not the least bit surprised when handcuffs were placed on him. At first, he was surprised at this, but then he remembered that the only reason they weren't there before was because he'd fallen asleep alone in there. He didn't feel safe. He knew that there was some truth to his dreams. Mello was strong enough and smart enough to do as he pleased and not get in trouble for it. While he slept Mello could touch and fondle him. He wouldn't know and nobody would really care if he tried to mention it.

_No_, he screamed at his cautious, wariness that pooled in some dark corner of his mind warning him when something appeared off about the older teens, _Mello would not do that! He wants to help…but what's the price for helping me? There must be some sort of condition I know nothing about! Or is there am I just feeling paranoid?_ He looked to the blonde with silent fear welling up like his confused tears welled in his eyes.

Near wanted more than anything to believe he was safe but no matter how hard he tried it always came back to 'well Beyond did that before' or 'Beyond said something like that just before' and it really made him dwell on the fact that he could be a victim of abuse even with Matt and Mello, who seemed willing to abuse if angered or frustrated by something or someone.

"Something wrong?" the blonde mumbled seeing how pale Near looked. "You look like you've seen a monster walk out of the closet or something."

"I'm fine."

Mello looked at him skeptically.

"Really Mello. I'm okay. Can we just go to sleep?"

"Whatever. You'd just better not try any escape attempts again. Or wake me up with your whimpering and crying. You aren't a baby, you know."

"I am the baby here, you know, being the youngest."

"No excuses."

"…."

He knew he wasn't making an excuse, but also knew Mello was right. He was seventeen and needed to act like he was seventeen, instead of acting like he was seven. Near felt embarrassed but winced away from Mello's touch and stayed silent, closing his eyes waiting for sleep to take him.

Soon the two were asleep in their own separate worlds.

The next morning Near woke up to find he was on the couch. Groaning he sat up and rubbed his head, which felt sore. "Hey, bud." Matt said standing nearby, having gone unnoticed by Near. "You okay? Mello hit you pretty hard."

"Hit me?"

"Yeah." he said nodding for a moment to show Near he'd heard right. "He said you'd tried to bite him, so he slammed his fist upside your head. We were sure you were in a coma! Or something close to that, which would still be real bad."

Near gave him a look of doubt and curiousity.

"You've been out cold for the past twelve hours." Matt explained. Near's eyes widened at this. "Mello is real sorry, but he's also sorta pissed, ya know. Oh, don't look so shocked, Near! Dammit, you know you shouldn't have bit him."

"I recall doing no such thing!" he snapped. "All I know is I was sleeping and woke up here in pain!"

"So what? You were sleep-biting?"

"I don't know!" he scoffed looking away in something close to embarrassment and muttered, "Maybe…."

Sighing Matt gave him a rather doubtful look, rubbing the back of his neck before he shuffled off to the kitchen.

* * *

**Promise that things are gonna get a little more intense next chappie! Just you guys wait...**

**~Luv To All, Fairylust~**


	19. Chapter 19

**Update! I can't wait to post again! I know it was just yesterday but it feels like forever since I last posted. I really like where this is heading.**

**Next chappie is coming soon!**

**~Luffles, Fairylust~**

* * *

Sighing Matt went and explained to Mello Near's position on things.

This led to an argument taht was rather heated where the blonde decided he should revoke Near's freedom to be alone at times unless he talked about why he'd be biting in his sleep. Of course eating was out of the excuse book because Mello knew Near didn't care much for food not like one would imagine anyway. He just ate what he needed and would have no reason to feel the need to think of food as anything other than nutrients. It was something bigger and badder than an eating dream.

"Fine!" Near huffed having enough of the interrogation. "If Mello can get Matt to leave then I will tell him everything. However, if Matt refuses to go then I will exercise the 5th amendment and not speak until the situation suits me."

"Please go Matt or so help me I'll-" Matt left before Mello could make the threat to kick his ass. The blonde seemed surprised at how swift his best bud was when the time suited him to move. Sighing he quickly gathered his thoughts. "Okay," he muttered turning to Near, who stared up at him defiantly hiding his despair and weariness very well, "what the hell is your problem? What were dreaming about last night, huh?"

"I-I was dreaming about…." He blushed a light pink color. He couldn't say it. Near was too embarrassed. "I was dreaming of…while showering with…." He paused leaving blanks, which only irritated Mello more.

"Who?" he asked curiously trying not to show how pissed he was and failing sadly causing Near to wince. "What? When? Where? Answer the questions Near! You've got me in suspense here."

"M-Mello pulled me into the shower and made me…do things…he started to hurt me, so I bit him but I guess that made me bite him in real life. I am sorry!"

The blonde blinked after hearing the truth that spilt from Near's mouth like a waterfall. He gaped slightly at the younger male, and then just stood there feeling as flustered, as he must have looked with his reddening face. Near knew he was angry and felt ready to cry worried that a beating was in store for him for having such dreams. To his surprise though Mello asked the last thing he expected to hear.

"What sort of things?"

His eyes shot open and he stared at Mello in shock. "Wha-what?"

"What sort of things, Near?"

"Umm, well, must I explain?" he asked blush intensifying. "Why would Mello want to know about something horrible like that?"

"Horrible? What is horrible? It's perfectly normal."

"I-It is?"

Mello nodded with a smirk as he leaned against a counter across from Near their eyes not meeting seeing as Near kept his eyes looking downward. "Of course it's normal!" he exclaimed like it were basic knowledge that even a small child knew. "Perfectly natural to be honest. Your gay so your mind is making you have yoai dreams. It happens. Next thing you know you'll be dreaming about Matt."

Blushing even more so Near sighed twisted a curl of hair. "Mello made me suck on him. He choked me really bad." He said blushing. He looked away from the blonde who was blushing also, but a brighter red. He rolled his eyes brushing it off and using the same line he did before.

"That's natural for you. It doesn't mean anything. Just don't think much about it."

The problem with that situation was: Near did think about it. He thought about it and hated himself for it. Humiliation made him look away from Mello and anger forced him to keep quiet. He was truly embarrassed that he'd said anything. Near wished he was dead then so that he wouldn't have to feel that intense stare Mello was surely giving him, seeing as he knew how perverse the pale boy was. _Probably thinking that he should stay away from the freak._ Near thought bitterly. I hate him…so much….

"Can I be excused now?"

"Do you want to be?" Mello asked. He was so tired of Near asking for permission. He had to become independent. Near looked at him quizzically before he got up and left the room in a sulking manner. "See you later don't miss me too much!" he called with a chuckle, only adding to the burning rage Near felt stain his face red.

_Tomorrow he will pay._ He thought darkly just a moment before he slammed the door to the bedroom shut.

It was the only sanctuary he had.

The next day Mello was surprised to wake up finding Near had, yet again, escaped and hearing screaming from another room. Getting up he ran to the door and was greeted by Near who suddenly slammed a vase to his head. When he came to he was greeted by the sight of Matt tied up on the couch. He soon realized he was tied to a chair and given how uncomfortable it was he guessed it was from the kitchen. Groaning he looked to Matt, who was actually staring at him and seemed to be bored. "What the hell happened?" Mello asked wishing he were free so he could hold his head in pain. It felt like he had just woke up from a freakin hangover!

"Near said you humiliated him yesterday. So, he's basically pissed at you and wants to get revenge. He said he isn't made at me so he gave me the comfortable seat."

"Gods, why did he have to do that? I didn't do a damn thing to him."

Mello suddenly noticed Matt was giving him a look. He swallowed a mouthful of air before he dared to figure out what the look was for mostly because it was the dirtiest look Matt had ever given him before in his life. It seemed like he was silently saying how disgusted he was with the blonde, which was very unMatt-like. "Why the hell are you giving me that damned look Matt?" he asked. That look was really getting on his nerves he was getting looked at like he were some rapist or something.

"He said you molested him." Matt said almost too quietly for him to hear. "Near said that you made him 'sexually gratify' you against his will. My gods, Mello, I knew you were hot for the kid but I didn't think you would go and rape him! Now he's snapped and acting all evil and stuff…damn why'd you have to get him all messed up and junk?"

"What the hell?" the blonde shouted blushing and trying not to smirk at how funny Matt made it all sound. He managed to keep a serious look upon his face as he spoke. "It's not my fault Near's all messed up and junk, Matt! That's all B's fault and you know it! And just to be clear I'll say it once and only once: I haven't raped anybody! Damn it, Matt, you perverted blockhead you should know that! If I raped anyone it might as well be you because there is no way in Heaven or Hell that I will _ever_ touch Near! It was some stupid sex dream he had and told me about yesterday!"

"Then why is he so pissed?"

"Like I should know what goes on in the mind of a psychotic seventeen year old kid! How are you so sure he isn't pissed at something you did, huh?"

"I-"

The sound of something breaking caused them both to become silent. Near entered the room in a rather slow, threatening manner glaring angrily at Mello, who noticed he was carrying some sort of tray that was covered by a cloth. The blond struggled to get free for a minute, and then gave up to glare at the albino once more. "What the hell is going on Near?" he demanded watching as the younger teen took a seat on the floor, for the first time in a while sitting in his usual odd sitting position. He uncovered the tray to reveal a plate with two forks, a tape recorder, and two separate pairs of earplugs. He looked up to Mello as though the answer was clear from that revelation. When it became obvious that his reasons were not at all clear to either Mello or Matt he sighed.

"I have decided that since you want to humiliate me so much, Mello, that I will take my revenge by torturing you. The hatred you show towards me has been apparent and I have been carrying it on my shoulders, until yesterday when you chose to offend as well as humiliate me. I never hurt Mello too much. Maybe I threatened his life but I never done him no other wrong. He had no right to degrade me the way he did." He paused and then added quietly, "In my most honest opinion you deserve this, Mello."

"O-okay," Matt sputtered from where he lay on the couch, imagining the worst case scenario of what Near planned on doing with the plate and silverware, "so Mello hurt your feelings, you know that's no reason to torture us both!"

"No, Matt." Near sighed looking at the plate. "You haven't humiliated me the way Mello has, so I got you a pair of earplugs, too. I just had to keep you out of the way so you wouldn't stop me. I know how much you care about Mello given what I read from your laptop."

"Wha-what? You looked at my laptop?"

"You looked at his laptop? What were you doing that for?"

"Well," he said twisting a curl of hair, "I was bored. Mello hadn't woken from his bashing and Matt was still unconscious from taking the chloroform effect directly to his entire face, really he shouldn't have struggled so much, otherwise it'd have just been his mouth and nose."

"What did you freakin read on my damn laptop, you creepy jackass?" Matt exclaimed in unison with Mello's question, "Why the hell did he get off easy with chloroform, you dick?"

Near sighed again, shrugging. He quickly decided to answer Matt first, looking to him with a soft smile and slight blush. "I read about your and Mello's records at Whammy's, seeing as Mello said you broke rules and…."

Matt guessed, "Easter?"

He nodded, while Mello gaped in silent shock, blushing as badly as Near was.

"We should begin before someone interrupts."

"Wait-!" Matt exclaimed hoping to stall some more. This attempt was ended when Near put his earplugs in and glared at Matt. "Don't tempt me to torture you too." He warned angrily glaring at him. The redhead was silent remembering the past abuse he'd been put through and the fact he was laying tied up on a couch just made those memories worse, and so he shut up. Near put the earplugs in his ears before he took a fork in each hand and stared down at the plate.

"Mello," he said calmly not giving the curious looking blonde so much as a glance. "Seeing as there is a shortage of proper torture equipment here I've decided to be primitive about this. To be blunt…I'll scratch this plate up with these forks, record it on that tape recorder, and then see where that takes me. Perhaps, just perhaps, I shall take it easy on you…."

As Mello opened his mouth to speak Near started to scrape the plate with the forks. It was so horrible! It was like nails on a chalkboard, but ten times worse. He gritted his teeth together struggling to get loose wanting nothing more than to cover his ears. The torture was primitive but effective. And once it ended he looked over to a grim looking Near, who picked up the tape recorder and stood. He walked over to where Mello sat and with a swift, graceful movement shoved Mello backwards. If he though the chair was uncomfortable before he was just kidding. He realized lying in the chair was much worse than sitting upright in it, which was already a form of torture when he thought about it. "I thought you said you'd take it easy on me!" he shouted as Near placed the tape recorder beside his head.

Reading Mello's lips Near closed his eyes in thought for a moment. Looking down at the fiery blonde with a blank face he shrugged. "I said maybe…but that's just not who I am, now is it, Mello?" He then pressed the play button and sauntered from the room to the bedroom slamming the door behind him. It was only when L came by to check on them about an hour later that Mello's torture ended.

And he felt half deaf by then, luckily upon inspection nothing was badly damaged though he was having one hell of a headache. He later found Near had barricaded himself in the closet and refused to come out, apparently aware that Mello planned on beating the hell out of him. While in the closet he stayed at the back, hidden and secretly afraid. He wondered why he even done what he did. Sure he wanted to pay Mello back but he decided it really wasn't worth getting beaten half to death. He'd have never considered doing such a thing while with B. And when he thought about it Mello was most likely planning on ripping him to pieces the second he stepped out.

_I'll just wait until he isn't angry anymore._ He thought curled up and shaking all over. _He can't stay mad forever, right? Tomorrow he'll forget. And it will be like a bad dream._

On the outside Mello sat on the bed glaring at the closet door. His cold blue eyes were radiating murder. He was determined to pummel Near to a bloody pulp the second he stepped outside of the damned closet. Nothing Matt or L said or did made a difference. He still sat and watched and waited, until he fell asleep.

Near kept wide awake too upset to sleep.

* * *

**I hope nobody is too depressed. I bet you can't wait and see what's in store, well, please be patient and I'll get back to you on this. I'll soon be updating Family Matters and feel great about all these recent updates!**

**~Luffly Luv To Ya, Fairylust~**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Own Nothing! By this I mean DN anime & manga series. I DO own this storyline and WON'T like it one bit if anyone plagierizes!**

**Anywayz, thanks for being such awesome readers and I hope you guys have been enjoying this story but I MUST know how to continue the story. I have it worked out in my mind, however I realize there is a gaping hole somwhere, which just so happens to be the next chappie, so I have options on the poll I hope some of you will choose.**

**I have decided to give it three days from today before taking the poll down and adding anotehr chappie, kay?**

**~Luv, Fairylust~**

* * *

The next morning Near stayed exactly where he was hiding. The darkness of the closet was his sanctuary from Mello. He knew that he had crossed a line. And boy did he regret it. He was scared out of his mind and wanting to go to sleep more than anything else in the world, but he was still feeling guarded about Mello killing him so he laid his head on his arm and stretched himself out on the carpeted floor of the closet.

He let out a small sigh staring at the light coming from the crack beneath the doorway. It was sometime later when it sounded like somebody was doing something to the door from the outside and him seeing the dark shape of feet beneath the doorway that Near began to panic a little. He sat up and looked around hoping to find someplace to hide. Unfortunately there was nowhere for him to really hide, so he pressed his back against the back of the wall and waited ready to put up a struggle if Mello and Matt tried to drag him out.

Much to his surprise, however, it wasn't Mello and Matt. It was Mello and L. He found himself frozen. He didn't know what to do or how to react. All he knew was he wasn't going to move a muscle until he was sure they weren't about to tie him up and torture him for torturing Mello. He felt like a machine when he finally did react as Mello grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

The reaction he displayed upon being grabbed by Mello was expected by L who watched in mild interest as Mello dragged a screaming, squirming Near from the closet. He looked like a small child being abducted. He didn't resort to the biting L expected until Mello had him in the living room that made him drop the small boy who scrambled to his feet and made a dash for the kitchen. Near was stopped by Matt who was perfect in his timing, leaving the kitchen. He caught Near in his arms and held him tight in a firm hold that could have been mistaken for a comforting hug, seeing as Near didn't struggle so much against him.

"Near, shhh," Matt whispered in the smaller boy's ear, holding him as tightly as he could because even though it didn't look it Near was squirming to get away, "Near, it's okay, it's okay. Nobody is going to hurt you. I promise. Mello isn't that mad at you anymore, so there is no reason to be so freaked out."

"H-he wants to torture me!" Near sobbed into Matt's chest. His hands grasped at his shirt and the now flowing tears wetted the striped fabric. "I-I don't want m-my nails p-pulled out again! P-please, M-Matt, I'm sorry!"

Looking to L and Mello unsurely he hoped they'd tell him what to do because he was getting more than uncomfortable. They did not say a word. L stood watching and Mello stood by him looking cold, yet oddly blank in some emotional unreadable way. Near eventually stopped his crying and was eventually left lying on the couch looking rather embarrassed, yet eerily calm as he stared at the three older males that conversed quietly across the room.

"Just like we said, L, he's still violent and his lid is still flipped." Mello whispered. "We should just give up on the brat and dump him in some professional's lap."

"I was hoping he'd make improvement and he has. It would seem he is more stable than before, if only slightly. Perhaps, Mello, you can find it in yourself to forgive and forget this once. And show him you don't think badly of him."

"Once? I've been doing it since we invited the little psycho here! And you have no idea how frustrating he is L! He's always being so…so…so infuriating I mean he bit me in his sleep and has been having sex dreams about me! I supposedly humiliated him somehow and have no idea how and I am convinced that he will hate me forever. I've seriously tried to be nice and firm at the same time and it isn't working. All I've tried to do is help the little bastard out. You should know that!"

"He's got a point L. Near just isn't responding too well."

"Maybe you should be more…intimate."

"Intimate? Where the hell did that come from!"

"Well, it's in your nature you can't deny that."

"What are you talking about?" the blonde whispered, eyes narrowed. "I'm not gay and refuse to be 'intimate' with that little creep!"

"If you aren't gay then why have the only women you've been with have either turned out to be lesbians or hookers? And why is it that the only relationships with girls I've seen you with lasted only for a total of three or less weeks? You seem to stay unavailable a lot of the time. Besides, your and Matt's activities as minors disagree with what you're saying."

"Where the hell did you come up with that conclusion?" he whisper shouted.

"Mello. Easter. Remember? L isn't stupid. He can draw conclusions."

Blushing Mello glared over at Near. "Do I really have to?" he asked sounding begrudged. Matt wrapped a reassuring arm around his shoulders. "C'mon Mels! It isn't like you don't want to screw him!" He said jovially, prompting Mello to curse at him for saying that.

L frowned. "No." he said firmly. "You don't have to have sex with him, in fact it may be best if you don't have sex with him. He has been taught that having sex is a way to control another person. You can just be gentle with him and show him affection, and then if he wants to take the relationship further and you feel the same go for it. I really don't care, but recommend kissing. That can be a good start."

"Ugh!" he exclaimed making Near jump a bit on the couch. "I'm surrounded by a lot of bloody freakin perverts!" He shouted as he stormed off to the kitchen. Near got up and followed him seeming to not want to keep in the same room with L. It made sense that he would be uncomfortable, so that left L with Matt to speak in private about their Beyond problem.

He saw the blonde seething over the kitchen sink. He moved over to where he was behind the blonde feeling wary as well as a bit curious as to what they had said to set him off. "Is there something wrong Mel-" he never got a chance to finish his sentence. A strong, firm hand grabbed hold of his pajama shirt pulling him close and lips covered his. Any attempts he made to escape ended when another hand went and pressed into the small of his back. Near finally managed to get away when the blonde released him so they could both get much needed oxygen.

"Wha-what was that?" he muttered looking mistrustfully at Mello, who was looking at him with some emotion Near couldn't decipher at the time. "Why did Mello do that? I didn't do anything!"

"Yeah, so? I just felt like it."

"L-like what?"

"Showing affection…and stuff, you know." He said face tinted pink. "Showing you that I care and…and that I like you…and stuff."

"Mello…likes me?"

"Uh…yeah…yeah I do."

Near looked at him with an expression that was a combination of confusion, disbelief, and curiosity. Why would Mello like him? He didn't get that at all. Why pick a mentally damaged-a totally traumatized-kid when there were so many other options for him to look at? Matt was sane. And there were plenty of other sane people in the world that the blonde could have chosen over him. Near felt extremely doubtful that Mello would have any positive feelings toward him, seeing as he was a huge burden and annoyance. Near gave him a look that most likely read 'are you kidding me' and Mello quickly picked up on this.

"Yeah." He said struggling to keep his composure. "I forgive you for…being a damn jackass and all. Not your fault, you know. You're still a bit…crazy. So, forget about it and just…keep being nice and I'll keep being nice and things will work themselves out, you know?"

"No. I don't know. Why is it that Mello is being so…nervously calm?"

Mello smirked, ruffling Near's hair much to the younger boy's annoyance. "Nice oxymoron, Near, but I honestly have no clue about what you're talking about." He said with a smile that was surprisingly natural as he subconsciously examined the smaller boy's cute face. _If one surely knew nothing of Near they would think he was some adorable ten-year-old._ Mello thought to himself, actually managing to creep himself out with that thought.

"He does not seem to have forced the supposed 'affection' onto me," Near continued oblivious to Mello's feelings or silent actions, "yet he doesn't seem to be willing to be composed now that he has committed said act. Is he planning something against me? If so then I would like to know. However, if what he says is true then I would like to know when his 'feelings' began to blossom. I am very intrigued that someone like Mello would be interested in someone like me."

"I'm just trying to show affection, Near!" Mello snapped. "It's not like I'm committing to some serious engagement, like I'm not raping you or anything, now am I? You should really learn to trust others, brat. Anyway, you shouldn't be giving me the third degree because of that seeing as it's no real reason to question me about anything. If anyone should be questioned it should be Matt…or you, at the very least."

Near sighed, looking unsure about it.

His time away with Beyond made him untrusting of others displaying such affections but the rational part of his mind told him that Mello wouldn't harm him, unless provoked or really agitated because of something he had done and Mello seemed sincere, although a bit too uncomfortable as well as a tad awkward when he apologized and said he wasn't bothered by what Near had done to him. Near wasn't too certain he wanted to speak with Mello anymore. He seemed different when they spoke nowadays. It was like he was preoccupied with other thoughts whenever Near stood before him. And that really made Near feel uncomfortable. No, it was something worse, as though a million prickly spiders were crawling all over his skin and stinging him with their venomous bites.

Looking at the blonde with suspicion Near backed away until he was at the doorway. He knew what he wanted then and that was space away from Mello, who he no longer knew what to really think of. He then turned and ran for the safety of the bedroom where he locked himself in hoping to put space between him and his next possible rapist.

* * *

**Who wants me to just get on with it and make them a couple? Or just go ahead and mention Beyond again. I can't stand all this badgering! I really just want to wrap this up in a nice little bow before Christmas so I can finish up with Cannibal Land.**

**I probably already should seeing as I only have one or two chappies left, but what are ya gonna do when school and other activites weigh you down?**

**Thanks for reading! I am proud of all those who have read this story up until now.**

**~Luv, Fairylust~**


	21. Chapter 21

**No votes? No votes! HOW DARE YOU ALL?**

***Sighs***

***Smiles, speaks cheerily* Okay, okay. I'll take this in my hands seeing as you're all so busy with your lives and stuff. Whatever. I get that. I've been busy a lot myself lately.**

**So, yea, please understand I wish you all a merry Christmas & VERY happy New Year!**

**83**

**X3**

**~Still Luffles, Fairylust~**

* * *

The next few days went something like that. They would get up, Mello would display 'affection', Near would run back to the room sometimes barricading himself in (like it was a freakin zombie apocalypse or something), and then Matt would have to coax the small boy out. Eventually, he did so with promises of taking him out for something, usually to buy him a new toy. The first time worked perfectly so they just stuck with that one, until Mello found himself buying a toy chest for the younger boy and realized it was already halfway full when they first got it. Matt was told to find a new coaxing method or he'd be strangled.

It was safe to say that Near already had too many toys for the apartment to handle. Near didn't see a problem but then again he was also the one who dumped the toys out and threw them about, sometimes 'forgetting' where he put one or two of them, until someone (usually Matt) slipped or tripped over one.

"We've got to get rid of some of those things." Mello said, one night after taking a fall due to a toy train being randomly left in the middle of the kitchen doorway. "It's that or you tell him to stop leaving his playthings about."

"Yeah, well, I've tried that and he threatens, I think, to kill me in my sleep if I try to get rid of any of them."

"Like he'd know if one or two is missing."

"He said he had a total of sixty-seven toys, not counting cards or the dart board. And that he arranges them in a specific order in the toy box, so yeah, Mello, he'll notice and I bet you know that he will blame me."

"This _is_ all your fault you know." Mello sighed shrugging like it was no big deal if Matt took a fall for the team, again. "What was ice cream not a good bribe?"

"He didn't go for it when I offered." Matt sighed. He looked over to the door where Near kept himself locked in nowadays messing around with his toys. "By then I think he had forty-two toys in his possession."

"You think we should call L? I mean, this seems like an addiction type thing. You know, him asking for more and locking himself in that room for days on end just to play with those things. I have been sleeping on this damned couch for who knows how long now because he discovered Legoes. Do you even realize how stupid and babyish that is?"

"You mean considering he's seventeen? Yeah."

"What the hell do you think he's doing, exactly? I mean with all those Legoes you bought for him?"

"I think his real joy is Tarot cards. I saw him stacking them in there the other day. He was pretty pissed when I knocked his tower over."

"Go figure."

Matt was about to say something else to his friend when Near came out of the room eyeing Mello warily. He was holding what appeared to be a die in his hand, rolling it between his spindly fingers. Ebony eyes locked with blue in a silent, yet enraged demand that Mello sensed, but was curious as to why Near had to question him. Seeing the two more or less glaring at each other Matt sighed making a quick escape in case they got into a fistfight or something. "What do you want, twerp?" Mello asked, fixing him with an unsympathetic gaze. His sympathy for Near wore out the same time his patience had. The same could be said about Near's compassion, save that it was years before that moment that he lost that.

"I have just finished a scenario of my break in at the asylum, Mello. And from my calculations I should have been able to free Beyond without much hassle, so what stopped me?"

"We've done been over this, Near. You were overconfident and overlooked the idea that there were cameras. You were spotted on some hidden cameras and guards were sent after you. End of story."

"No. That isn't the end, Mello. Something else happened. I-I remember holding keys in my hand. And I remember using them…to unlock B's cell…and that would mean that I did succeed in letting him go."

"Near, that was a dream. You had a panic attack, went into shock, and dreamed all of that stuff up. I've told you all of this before."

"Yes, yes, you have but my scenario says different, therefore-"

"What's your scenario based off, Near, some stupid toys?" He snapped watching as Near opened his mouth to argue but Mello gave him no chance to reply. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Poor, little Near made a make-believe scenario out of his stupid, babyish toy collection, which holds no real properties in any way."

Clenching his teeth Near felt like a baby as tears or rage welled up in his eyes. He glared at Mello angrily. The chill of the look seeping into Mello's resisting mind, before stomping off, and then slamming the bedroom door behind him as he fled to his only means of escape from Mello and Matt when they made him angry.

Lying on the bed he buried his face into his pillow too angry to think straight. He wished they would just say he was better and let him go wherever he wanted. He hated living there with them. They were always treating him like he was some delicate infant that just had to be under constant surveillance. Lying alone, however, gave him some time to think and calm down. He was able to think of how his situation was good, rather than bad, which really helped him cool off. Sighing he eventually got up and looked around the room, tears starting to slide down his pale face.

Falling to the floor he started to play with some of his toys. Lining three soldier men up around a mostly white stuffed hamster. The only thing he didn't like about said hamster was that it wore blue bows. He was able to ignore that, though. Bringing forth a purple red-eyed monster-like figurine he thought things over and with a smile thumped over a soldier before thumping over another.

And with a dour expression slapped the monster to the side staring dejectedly at the soldiers.

Later that night around ten or so when Mello went to check in on Near he ended up tripping over the younger boy, who had fallen asleep, hidden halfway under the bed with only his socked feet showing. It was sort of comical not that Mello would admit it, however. Sighing, unable to hold back a smile as it grace his face he moved forwards on his hands and knees like some sort of predator stalking his prey.

Grabbing hold of the boy's ankles he pulled Near out, stunned when spindly pale fingers entangled in his hair tugging so that his head went down and his lips met with Near's. Eyes widened greatly and gasping in surprise Mello soon found the kiss turning more intense as Near tried to get his tongue inside of his mouth. Groaning at realizing this Mello scowled, shoving Near away causing him to pout in disappointment.

"Why did Mello do that?"

"I should ask you the same!" he spat. Grabbing Near's shirt collar he hoisted the boy up from where he lay so their faces were only inches apart. "What the hell did you think you were doing?" He shouted angrily, despite the fact he was grinning at the mischief Near had just carried out. "You can't just hide and snog somebody when they pull you out from hiding that's just sick and _not_ in the good way, mister!"

"Well, seeing as I had time to think I decided that Mello has been rather nice and if he wants to show his affection then I should get to show mine. Or is there something wrong with me doing that?"

"Well, yeah…I mean, you can't just smooch someone without warning, Near!"

"Mello did."

"That was different."

"How so?"

"Well, it…it was…umm…it just was!"

"Oh. You mean because Mello is superior?"

"No! I mean, well, you know!"

Near looked at Mello in confusion not sure what he was meaning. "I am confused." He admitted looking rather perplexed. "What is it that I should know, Mello?"

"That…that…you are my equal…and that you deserve to do stuff that I do…and that…I HAVE BOUNDRIES, NEAR!"

Looking stricken Near nodded, feeling a bit ashamed to have done as he did, while also a little happy. Mello smiled a bit, wrapping an arm around Near's shoulders noting that the albino didn't tense up like usual and instead blushed a light color of pink. He looked so adorable and innocent that it was hard to believe he had committed mass murder, kidnapping, torture, and rape prior to that moment. It was sort of creepy, like Mello was seeing a side he had never let anyone else see before. In a way, it made Mello feel very important, as though only he could do something that nobody else could possibly conceive.

Smiling Near cuddled up against the blonde timidly, not feeling too bold to do much more after having Mello yell at him. He liked being close to Mello. It made him feel safe as well as contented, even more contented than he had ever felt before in his life. It brought up a memory that he did not know existed. It had been buried in the deepest part of his mind and until then he had no idea it was still important.

It was a thunderstorm. The place seemed unfamiliar in his mind but he was running down a long stretching hallway, panting quietly scared of waking someone up.

_Who am I afraid of waking?_ Near wondered back in the present feeling a bit disturbed, Mello took notice of this as Near shrank away from his touch, though he still cuddled up against him.

* * *

**Time to sing!**

**Joy to the world this Christmas year**

**May joy fill all who inhabit it!**

**and also**

**May your day not suck**

**Too bad!**

**Lol. Sorry if this was offensive to anyone, but seriously have a nice Christmas holiday and hope to hear from you guys sooner or later.**

**~Luffly Luvs, Fairylust~**


	22. Chapter 22

**11/20/11 at 8:17 p.m.**

**Not much to write, I guess. Oh, yea, except that my frequent updates may begin to slow down a tad bit, probably, seeing as I will have some Christmas things to tend to, besides that I'm starting to get a case of writer's block. Sorry, but that's the truth.**

**~Luv, Fairylust~**

* * *

Thunder made him cringe as he stopped hesitantly outside of a door. He looked around timidly to make sure someone, no by something, wasn't following after him. He gave the door an almost silent knock, noting how tiny his fist was Near supposed he was a toddler, at least, or somewhere around that, perhaps he was four or five. Shaking away these thoughts Near concentrated on that scene. The door creaked open and a voice whispered to him from the other side, "Are you being followed?" it wasn't comforting or warm, in fact, it was just the opposite: cold and hollow, only asking a question that mattered to their well-being.

_Who did I…did_ we_…think was following me?_ He wondered staring down at his socked feet with partially closed eyes that were seeing an entirely different scene. _Who spoke to me? Was that Mello…or Matt? Wait, where was I?_ Near remembered looking around behind him once more to be sure. And he nodded to the slightly open door.

"I'm scared." He whispered. "The monsters are going to get me." There was a loud thump down the hall behind him that made him whimper. "Please let me in!" he pleaded shaking all over. "The monsters are out here!"

"I don't think I should."

"Please, Rue, let me in!"

"Rue!" Near yelped in the present jumping away from Mello, who stared at him in wide-eyed shock. He watched as Near stumbled away shaking all over and looking like somebody had just slugged him in the stomach. He looked sick and depressed, seeming drained of all energy.

"Are you sure you want in?" the same voice asked. "This place, this place is real messed up and dark."

Confused he nodded quickly in reply and the door creaked open a bit more. He took half a step forwards but was stopped when a firm hand grabbed his pale wrist. Whimpering and feeling tears start to run down his face Near managed to hold his screams back. Looking he saw an unfamiliar form. It was a tall boy, who was older than he by about two or so years with pale blue eyes that had not yet taken on their bright hue and short blonde hair that had not yet had the chance to grow out.

"What ya doing?" he hissed jerking Near's small body backwards, off the side. "You aren't supposed to be here." He said glaring at the now closed door. "Bad place to be at night." He muttered and jerked Near's small form back again causing the tiny boy to lose his balance and fall forwards. Lying on the wooden floor, hearing thunder roar outside loud enough to make the place shake, as though it were quaking in fear of the storm, Near started crying, knowing the monsters were going to get him for sure now.

"Oh, shut up!" the blonde snapped, arms angrily crossed at his thin chest. "I didn't shove you that hard, you stupid baby. Get up and wipe your face or else"

"Or else what?" the small boy cried. He was now sitting up and staring at the older boy through a veil of white curly bangs, voice shaking, and tears still flowing. His large owlish eyes scanned the hallway once or twice to make sure the monsters weren't there.

"Or else I'll beat you up." He said. His arms were still crossed at his chest. Doing as told Near stood up, still breathing shakily and unable to control his tears. "That's better. Now what were you doin there at B's room? Everyone knows he is a weirdo." He studied Near and cocked his head to the side curiously. "Are you two related or something?"

Shaking his head Near stared at the blonde sadly. "He said the monsters are going to eat me." He said shaking all over. "I am scared!"

"Okaaaaay." The blonde said elongating the word with a smirk. "Well, what if I told you that the only monsters around here is me."

"You?"

"Uh-huh." He said rocking back and forth on his heels, grinning as he desperately struggled to restrain his mischievous giggles. "I beat other kids up during the day time and run around messing with stuff at night. Lots of the stupid people here think there is a raccoon loose or something!"

"Raccoon?"

"Yeah." He said nodding, and then stopped to look Near over and sigh. "Oh wait, you're a baby, right, which means you're too stupid to understand what a raccoon is. Well, you see," he began to explain as he dragged the smaller boy down the hall behind him, "a raccoon, it is a cat-like animal with a black mask on its face, big dark eyes that look like black pools of darkness, and black rings on its tail and it has sharp claws and teeth and hisses and growls and can bite you and get you sick and has soft fur that it won't let you touch and a raccoon eats innocent baby animals like birds and mice and kittens and puppies and turtles and fish and…it might even eat baby people!"

With wide eyes and a stumbling walk Near stared at the blonde, who continued to drag him along. He seemed to know a lot and Near made sure then and there that if ever he met a raccoon he would run for his life. Mostly because of how evil this older boy made them out to be. "Anyway," the blonde said to end the conversation, "I'm called Mello. What are you called, kid?"

"Nia."

"Nia? No way! That's a girl's name!"

"Nia!" he insisted though with more effort. "Merro, I'm Nia." He said pronouncing the other boy's pseudonym in the same awkward, garbled way he said his own. Laughing the blonde wrapped him in a hug. His smile was warmer than sunshine and he seemed to calm down. "Your speech is all garbled and messed up!" He giggled. "You're really funny, Nia…or, no…Nia kinda sounds sorta like…near! Your name is Near, right? Is that what you mean?"

Nodding the smaller boy blushed as the elder took his hand in his. He blushed prompting Mello to ask him why he did that. Near covered his face with his tiny pale hands and shook his head like he didn't want to reply. Nevertheless, he smiled and held one of Mello's hands in a slightly tighter, more demonstrative grip.

"Merro is hansum." He said in that garbled, confused sounding speech of his. "Merro is very pweety." Blushing a bit himself the blonde shrugged this off as Near being a weirdo. There were lots of those around Whammy's. He had just found Near about to enter the room of possibly the second biggest weirdo in Whammy's, Near now outranking him.

"Well, you stick by me, Near, and I promise I won't give you a hard time because, you know, friends don't give each other hard times." He said leading him down the hall and into The Common Room where he then shown Near some games that the small boy quickly took a liking to, the main being the puzzle collection at the bottom of a shelf.

"Hey, Near!" Mello shouted. "Wake the hell up!"

He tried to shake the younger, entranced boy from whatever world he had fallen into. He jolted a bit where he lay_. That was…my first friend, but…why was B there?_ He wondered back in the present finding himself on the floor, suddenly. He looked at Mello and studied him watching as a relived grin spread over his still attractive features, bright blue eyes looking at him in concern and suspicion. The concern, Near silently noted, was greater than his suspicion. Did that mean Mello trusted him to not be faking this? He hoped so because he wasn't sure how to handle all of what was happening to him at the time.

_What did he have to do with anything? _He thought wearily as Mello helped him stand up, steadying him as his body shook and tried to tilt forwards._ Why didn't I remember that…oh, Mello…he might know…._ He thought to himself the words coming to him sluggishly, as he soon found himself shaking all over and becoming teary-eyed.

Mello tried to figure out what was wrong with the small albino, but he didn't say much and mostly shrugged like he had no clue to what had happened or why it happened or even what made him act so dazed and embarrassed. A pink dusted his face that quickly became wet from tearstains. He was kinda worried for the younger teen, who seemed to have mentally shut down.

"Mello-"

"Huh?"

"Do you remember when you first met me? In the hallways one stormy night?"

"Yeah. What about it? That was ages ago."

"I was talking with B and about to go into his dorm room before you stopped me. I-I don't know what could have happened, b-but I thank you for st-stopping me. I just wish that I knew why I was there…why I-"

"Don't think about it." He whispered covering Near's mouth with a gloved hand, blue eyes warning him to not disobey. "For your sake just let it go, Near."

* * *

**Gonna update _Family Matters_ next if I can, you know because of the slowing progress. I truly hope that I'll be able to finish a couple more stories before New Years. I can already say that Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve, & New Years I'll be with my family celebrating and stuff.**

**Wish me some luck.**

**~Luv, Fairylust~**


	23. Chapter 23

Normally, Near wouldn't have dared disobeyed what Mello told him, especially when giving him such a harsh look, but he was unwilling to let this go. Pushing Mello's black leather-clad hand away from his mouth he looked at him hesitantly, keenly wanting to see if he could catch a trace of knowledge within the blue depths looking back at him or if he could, at least, find some…some…guilt.

"Do you know?" he asked quietly, wondering if Mello knew his reasons for being there at B's room that night. Perhaps that was why he wasn't willing to continue the conversation, knowing the answer to a disturbing question. "If you know why I was there, Mello, then I want to know."

"Yeah." He sighed, knowing this wasn't going to be let go. "Sort of."

"What does Mello mean by 'sort of' is he not sure or does he just not wish to tell me?"

"I sort of know why you were there and can guess…I can guess…you know, I can determine B's reasons for letting you be there during the time he was losing his mind from what I currently know. I just don't want to say it."

"Would you tell me if I asked?"

"I might as well." He said giving Near a dark look. "If you think you can handle it then I'll tell you what was going on inside the mind of a monster."

"I already know about what goes on in that mind."

Shrugging he looked at Near carefully, leaning against the far wall while Near sat on the floor in his own unusual position. "The mind of a madman is an interesting thing to study, don't you think?" he inquired. "As it turns out L predicted B would lose it. He was only forty percent sure at the time but…well, just look at how things turned out."

Giving an awkwardly nervous laugh Mello stared at the floor. Near realized that not only was Mello uncomfortable with this subject, but he was stalling the answer Near wanted to hear. "Save me the details and the stalling, just get to the point. I can deduct my own details from whatever Mello has to say so there is no need for him to prolong what he has to say."

"L believes Beyond was, umm, grooming you."

"Grooming me?"

"Yeah. You get what I mean, right?"

"Let us pretend that I don't." Near sniffled rubbing away the tears in his eyes and looked to Mello sadly needing to hear the blonde say it. He expected disgust from the blonde standing across from him but there was, much to his surprise, partially veiled empathy in his eyes. "What would Mello say then?"

"He was preparing to take you but he was trying to get you molded to his liking first, but you know what happened. A finally died and he ran off. Most likely he forgot about you until a few weeks after, but then he had to make plans to somehow get you back."

"But he couldn't wait. He needed to take me then because L was wanting to find him, so he…he…."

"He stalked you. We found proof of that. He had chosen you and was only contented with snatching you, but as you were surely about to say he could no longer wait and had to act fast, so he just grabbed you up when the first chance presented itself to him."

"Yes, that all makes perfect sense, b-but why me? It just had to be me?"

"Yeah." Mello said looking ashamed to be answering, his head was down so that his bangs veiled his eyes from Near's view, but that was okay because he wasn't looking at Mello anyway. He was staring at the floor, thinking about it all. "You were his pick and I think you know the answer to the why."

"He said he wanted to keep me safe, so I didn't end up like A. He wanted to protect me, he-"

"Do you honestly believe those were his intentions?"

"I don't know!" He whined, hands flying up to cover his pallid face. "Maybe, he was sometimes nice to me, Mello. He didn't hit me too hard some days and let me have a say in activities sometimes. Other times he wouldn't make me eat scrapes if I didn't want."

"My god, do you hear yourself, Near?" Mello exclaimed suddenly staring at the younger boy in disbelief. "You're really defending him? After all the hell he put you through you're using those weak grounds to try and defend him, of all people?"

"I-I don't…I am sorry! But every time I start to think of my life Beyond was there! He has always been there, Mello! You have no idea how it feels to know the things I know and have to believe the one person you thought loved you was actually using you!"

Hands covering his face Near blushed brightly at the outburst. Sighing Mello went over and sat beside the younger boy, putting a comforting arm around his shoulders. Near felt him place his other hand on his thigh, making him tense up a little. "What does it feel like?" Mello asked, whispering into the small albino's ear. Near removed his hands from his burning face and leaned his head against Mello's shoulder, silently hoping this action was okay with the blonde. He felt uncertain about replying. It was like Mello sensed this immediately. "It's okay you can tell me what it feels like. It's okay, Near, I promise I won't tell anyone."

"It is the worst feeling imaginable."

"Hmm, well, you don't have to feel so bad," he said lightly kissing Near's lips, seeing as neither had any qualms about it, "because Beyond won't ever hurt you again."

"Is that, ah, a promise, M-Mello?" Near asked trembling as Mello found a sensitive spot on his neck that had never really been messed with before. Smirking Mello repeated the action that made Near falter as he just did. Pulling away he found Near had his arms wrapped around him like he were a lifeline. Once Near realized that the kissing had stopped he pulled away, face turned a fierce pink color. "S-sorry, but c-can Mello keep the promise if he m-makes it?"

"Yeah." Mello chuckled. He loved watching the reaction he managed to draw out from the smaller boy, who seemed rather unsure and embarrassed about what just happened. "Near, I can promise and I can keep that promise, Near. Beyond is locked up tight. I can guarantee you that he won't ever know where we are, let alone you." He promised, though he knew it was all a lie and was worried that maybe he was wrong in saying that last sentence. "Okay, I-I will…I will…umm…I shall t-t-tr-trust Mello." Near said having to practically spit the word 'trust' out. Rolling his eyes Mello lightly ran his nails over that sensitive spot on Near's neck watching as his body shuddered at the affectionate, yet rough contact.

"Hasn't this spot ever been touched?"

"N-not really."

"Hmm, so I take it that is where you're most sensitive?"

Near nodded.

"I was pretty sure he had touched you everywhere. That's kind of how you've made things out anyway."

"St-stop it!" Near snapped, trying in vain to shove Mello away. "I don't want to talk about anything or let Mello touch me anymore! It's too upsetting for me to let Mello continue."

"Why can't you trust me?"

"Why can't Mello be honest with me?"

"I am, I-"

"Liar!" Near hissed. "You are hiding things from me and I hate that. Once Mello is honest with me, then I shall try to start trusting him."

"I'm NOT hiding anything from you, Near, I swear!"

Looking at him intently Near searched the blonde's eyes for a trace of a lie. He saw nothing. There was no guilt hidden in the sapphire depths. There was no deceitfulness there or any shame or any other sign that he may have been lying to him. Their gazes didn't waver for a moment, but when they did it was obvious Near believed him. Sighing he ran a hand through his white curls, pausing to twiddle a curl between thumb and forefinger. Mello watched him sure that he was feeling a bit frustrated.

"I can trust people."

"Sure you can."

"I can. And I will prove it."

"I'm looking forward to that." He said quietly, leaning over to the younger teen. "I suppose it'll be good to start exercising that valuable social tool because you're about to really need it. Seeing as you'll have to trust me when I say…umm…you know, that I love you and stuff."

Mello cupped his face with both hands before he could make any attempts to escape or show a sign of surprise, kissing him firmly on his pallid lips as he ran his fingers through Near's messy white hair. He was enjoying the soft, fluffy feel on the pads of his fingers when Near suddenly pulled away. He seemed surprised and very confused, but instead of running off or screaming like Mello had expected of him Near grabbed the front of Mello's black shirt and pulled him forwards, so that their lips melted together the second they made contact.

He gave a surprised squeak when the feeling of his partner's tongue licking at his lower lip sent shivers down his body. Near wasn't sure if he should take it any further or not. In the end he decided that he really didn't have anything to really lose, save his pride, which he figured would be easy enough to regain. Pressing his tongue against Mello's as it tried to coax a reaction from his Near wondered if this had been planned, but quickly discarded that thought, wrapping his arms around Mello's neck. He breathed out softly, blushing when Mello finally pulled away.

"Damn, Near," he said breathing shakily, wiping his lips with the back of his hand, as though wiping away saliva or something like that. "You're a great kisser."

He stiffened at that a bit mumbling, "I've had plenty of practice."

"Right." He muttered. Pushing the smaller boy down to the floor he straddled his waist now wanting to make Near forget all that nasty business of the past. He nipped at that sensitive spot on the pallid teen's neck making him squirm and mewl weakly. A hand grasped the front of Mello's black t-shirt tightly while the other went to Near's mouth. He bit down on the bottom part of his hand, so that his noises were muffled.

"Don't do that." The blonde whispered, kissing the smaller boy's neck. "I like your little noises, Near, they are _so_ adorable."

Blushing Near shied away a bit. He wasn't used to such nice treatment and felt rather embarrassed and frightened. Near had said he would try to be more trusting but he had to question the kindness. Why did Mello want to make him feel this way, no strings attached? It wasn't very beneficial to him unless…unless there was some motive behind his actions. Whimpering loudly Near tried to shove those thoughts aside, succeeding after a few minutes of struggling mentally.

There was a sudden loud knocking that caused the both of them to jump, shaken from their dazed stupor. Blushing Mello got up and left out quickly, silently glad Matt had interrupted before he could do something he knew he'd regret. Blushing Near realized then that his shirt was open and hickeys were blossoming. He cursed Matt internally for disrupting his and Mello's fun. Sighing he got up and buttoned his shirt back up, going over to play with his toys some more, using one to plan his escape from that lovely, yet at the same instance, horrid room/prison.


	24. Chapter 24

"Mels," Matt said ignoring the visible love mark on his friend's neck, "Beyond is getting closer. An informant emailed me some info saying that a guy by B's description was asking around some thugs about us. He was just a block away from here."

"Does L know?"

"Yeah. I told him first. He said that we either have to find B fast or move Near, which would likely make him an open target for Beyond."

"I say we find B!" Mello spat stomping a foot, provoking Matt to raise an eyebrow curiously. "I mean," he said in a manner that was calmer than his tone before, "Near isn't stupid and will question us if just up and move him someplace else. Besides, he is way sane now, almost totally. We can't let Beyond get back into the picture."

"Yeah, plus you totally want to have sex with the little snowflake."

"Yeah I-I do not, you sick perverted freak!"

"Too late you done said 'yeah' meaning you totally do!"

"Oh, shut up!" He huffed. "I do not…."

"Whatever! Let's get the show on the road and start looking around for you know who."

Mello sighed, shrugging. _Sooner the better._ He thought. Mello was very worried about this, scared for Near, and he just wanted it to get over and done with. And even if what Matt said was true, Mello wasn't ready to admit it. Not yet, anyway.

Maybe he would never be ready...

The next morning Near finally decided to leave the room. He had thought he heard Mello and Matt leave, but wasn't sure. Things were awfully quiet. That was for sure. He came out to find that no one was in sight, though he did hear a faint typing noise from someplace. Assuming it was Matt typing on his laptop he sighed quietly, glancing around to see where Mello could be. Curious as to what Matt was up to he walked carefully across the apartment towards the kitchen and peeked in, eyes widening a small fraction before narrowing down halfway.

Hearing a low noise L looked over to the doorway sighing upon seeing the small teen glaring at him like he was some interloper sneaking about where he didn't belong. L closed the laptop slowly, while his eyes stayed charily on Near, who was now biting the white sleeve of his shirt as though that would help him relieve whatever sort of tension it was he was feeling.

"Hello, Near."

"What are you doing here? What happened to Mello and Matt?"

"They went out. I am here to watch over you while they're gone. I don't suppose you'll make things easy for me?"

"When will they get back?"

"Nine, ten, possibly around eleven tonight."

"Why couldn't I go with them?"

"You already know why." He said bluntly. Near looked at him crossly. L, who sighed feeling exasperated with the whole situation, didn't miss the bitterness and mistrust shining in his eyes. "What? Don't you want my company? Or do you still hate me as fiercely as you did before?"

"Who are you kidding?"

"Hmm?"

"You aren't a good guy. You just hide behind the title and actions of one. You do what you do for the enjoyment of it, for the thrill. L, you don't care about anything except for winning. Similarly, I believe the same can be said about me, but at least I can admit it instead of pretending to be something I am not."

"While you do have a point, Near, I will point out that if I didn't care about your well-being, then I wouldn't have came here. I could have, instead, had cameras or bugs planted around places in the apartment, yet I didn't, and so here I am."

Staring at him Near didn't seem to think much differently. He just rolled his eyes and mentally dismissed him. Before he could leave a question bounced its way into his mind making him freeze. He looked over his shoulder to see that L was typing on the laptop once more. "Oh, L?"

"Yes?"

"What exactly are Mello and Matt up to?"

"They are currently out."

"Doing what?"

"They are helping me on a case. That is all you need to know."

Frowning Near shrugged and headed to the living room where he fell onto the sofa and stared at L through the kitchen doorway. He didn't look down on him that much anymore, but he sure didn't like him, either. Near didn't like anyone as much as he did Mello. And he knew that as an undeniable fact. The blonde had become close to him and he felt that he may have gotten too close, but wasn't about to argue about how he felt about Mello. It was impossible to deny that he had found somebody he truly did like without being forced to like. Sighing Near closed his eyes and decided it'd be best to just rest, seeing as there was nothing for him to really do.

* * *

Walking in after receiving the call Mello noticed Near was sound asleep on the couch. He passed him by hoping that things weren't about to take a total turn for the worst. The call had sounded urgent. L had called them several hundred minutes prior.

He had said some very vague things, but they knew that the bottom line was that Beyond had somehow managed to contact L, via a laptop someplace. Entering the kitchen Mello felt like the temperature dropped down below zero within seconds. Was he really that nervous? Or was he that frightened? He didn't know, nor did he want to. They walked in and saw that a grotesque looking, crimson colored B graced the screen of L's laptop.

"Hello there, Mihael, Mail."

"What the hell do you want?" Mello spat. "And how the hell did you manage to get into L's network?"

"Never doubt my analytical abilities or how persuasive I can be when dealing with reluctant hackers."

"What do you want, Beyond?"

"What you stole from me. What else? I want you to give me Nate or I'll kill you all collecting him myself."

"Yeah!" He spat sarcastically, giving a snide smirk. "Like we'd even consider-"

"Mello!" Matt hissed slapping a hand to his mouth. "Hush! Don't let him lead you into some sort of psychological trap!" Shoving Matt away Mello glared at him coldly, rolling his eyes and leaning back against the counter of the sink. "If we refuse to hand Near over to you, then what will you do, exactly?" L inquired carefully, though he was tapping his fingers on the tabletop to busy himself with something else, as so he wouldn't think too much on the situation at hand.

"I will paint this neighborhood red and tear anyone who gets in my way to pieces! You think I'm crazy? Then I'll show you crazy! Unless…"

"Hmm?"

"Unless…you give me what I want. I had him to begin with, so I think I should decide what to do with him, that's the only way." B said, and then the screen went black leaving the three young men standing around the kitchen staring in grimness and shock.

* * *

It wasn't until an hour or so later when he regained consciousness that he realized something was horribly wrong. He heard voices talking…eerily familiar voices that chilled his blood and made his skin crawl. Shivering he felt his fingers entangle in his hair, whilst managing to cover his ear, while his free hand clawed silently at the fabric of the couch.

"…that's the only way."

"No way!"

"Don't be so quick to say that."

"He's right. You've gotten too close to him."

"Just think it over."

There was the faint sound of a laptop closing and Near then dared to move. He sat up and peered into the kitchen managing to go unnoticed as he spied on the three within the kitchen. He saw Mello, Matt, and L all there. L sitting while the other two stood close by him. Near realized they must have been speaking with B through the laptop and felt less panicked, but his heart still raced as he decided to listen to what they had been talking about.

Glaring at the laptop Mello shook his head. "There is no way we are going to do that." He said, and then swore under his breath. "How could either of you even think of agreeing to Beyond's terms? He's a freakin lunatic!"

"Yes, but this could be helpful."

"That's right, Mels. We need to finish this and fast and if that means-"

"What?" he snapped with venom in his eyes. "What does it mean Matt? If it means putting Near in danger? Risking _his_ life after _we_ promised nothing bad would happen to him?"

"First of all," stated the redhead, "you promised him that, not me. I was realistic and kept my space from him like you might have done in case something like this happened."

"Pfft, whatever." Mello scoffed. "What do you think L?"

"Well, perhaps, if we were careful, then we could-"

"No, no, no! This is out of the question! We're not using Near as bait to lure B out of hiding, no damn way!"

"Mello-"

"You liar!" Near snapped making his appearance known to the three shocked males as they each turned to stare at the albino's sudden appearance. "You told me Beyond was locked away! Mello lied to me! And after he told me I could trust him!"

"Near-"

"Don't." Matt warned, but was ignored.

"-I meant what I said and I've never lied to you!"

"You said B was still locked up." He said, eyes accusing and arms still crossed angrily at his chest. "You said I failed and was stopped and that Beyond was still locked up, unable to escape, so how is it he got out if you didn't lie?"

"You just misunderstand this situation." Mello stated. "You only heard part of what was said, Near."

"Paranoid delusions?" Matt offered.

"Mello lied to you." L said truthfully. "You've got the right idea about everything thus far."

"_He_ is more honest than Mello." Near said with disgust. "Matt is no better than Mello and Mello is no better than-"

"May the gods help you if you say it!" the blonde spat angrily. "I am nothing like him and you know it."

"Mello sure lies like him."

"I was just-"

"Okay, okay," Matt said coming between the two, "will you two boyfriends knock it off before someone gets hurt? You're both obviously really pissed so I think it'll be best if you are separated for a little while, kay?"

"No-"

"Yes." Near sighed backing away seeming rather weary. "I think being away from all of you would do wonders for my nerves. But if any of you think for a second I'm going to see Beyond again then you've gone stark raving mad. If what lies Mello spouted were indeed lies then the bruises on my throat are proof enough that Beyond no longer has a use for me…or maybe he's just lost it completely…." Looking to them with reluctance in his ebony eyes he began to leave but paused to add, "Either way, I'm not going anywhere near him again and as soon as you correct your mistakes and let me go, hopefully, I won't have to see any of you ever again, either."

"Nice." Matt murmured. "Well, Mels, looks like you've blown it with him."

"Me? You were the ones who-"

"We didn't lie to him," L pointed out, "and risked his life for our own gain."


	25. Chapter 25

**The final chapter in Lost and Found! I hope you all enjoy it and have a very happy New Year.**

**Warnings: This chapter contains general angst, a bit of crude humor, abuse, torment, torture, rape, guyxguy pairing, violence, fighting, swearing, lying, cheating, implications, some vulgar language, character death, unclear details, and there very well may be some rather heavy emotional/psychological drama.**

**Lotta warnings, huh? Lol.**

**x3**

**Now, you've read the warnings, right? Well, get off this page if you don't like reading that stuff cause I promise it's in this chapter one way or another. Oh, and I also hope you won't mind it being so long, but then again I figured some of you would like that. Enjoy!**

**~Love, Fairylust~**

* * *

"We didn't lie to him," L pointed out, "and risked his life for our own gain."

"What gain?"

"Well," Matt said smirking suggestively, "you do have some nice looking hickeys on your neck. Perhaps, you wanted to get down in Near's pants?"

"_Really_?" L muttered, looking at Mello suspiciously. "You aren't really trying to take advantage of him are you?"

"No! That's just sick and wrong!"

"But true?"

"No, Matt, no, no way! You've got cabbage for brains if you think that!"

"Pretty smart cabbage." Matt muttered rolling his eyes. "Look, just think about it. It makes a ton of sense if you were thinking about doing it. I mean, he's cute and stuff and you really liked him as a kid, so ya know…."

Huffing the blonde stormed off from the room feeling regally pissed with his two supposed allies. Mello tried his best to speak with Near but the albino didn't want anything to do with him even when he didn't seem so mad anymore. It annoyed as well as worried Mello, who persisted in getting the younger boy to speak with him again.

It was in vain, however, Near just ignored him and stacked dice or something like that. He didn't move around much for the next eight or so days seeming to lack the motivation or desire to do much of anything anymore, so nobody really gave it much thought to locking the apartment door when the three detectives all went out to try and catch BB on a hunch given to them by an anonymous tipper. They were willing to risk it just being a trick by Near or something. Something told them that this would get them closer to B in no time at all.

How wrong they were…how wrong….

* * *

Humming quietly to himself Near stared at the solider he had chosen to play around with for the time being. He sat it on top of a block castle and then turned his attention to a small, plastic white cat-like creature that had the appearance of a cat, yet had pink wings on its back. Sighing he flicked it with his index finger, knocking it aside. Taking a little white soldier and placing it next to the green he twisted a curl around his index finger thinking of how sorry Mello seemed, but every time he thought of that he soon thought of why he was angry. Softly sighing he moved a hand to knock the block castle over but a soft, faint sound made him pause. Sitting up he looked to the closed bedroom door. He cocked his head to the side feeling suspicious.

He waited for a moment…

_Why hasn't Mello come in by now?_ He wondered. Every night that he left he always came back in to apologize or whatever to get Near to talk to him, which he never did succeed in doing. Getting up Near walked over to the door and opened it. He swallowed as he peeked outside to see the apartment door was open a crack. _The wind must have blown it open._ He rationalized shaking a bit, suddenly feeling chilled. _That must be it._

Closing, and then locking the door Near felt a bit better. He felt a lot safer seeing the door was now locked. Getting ready to head back to the bedroom he stopped again upon hearing the sound of something in the kitchen.

His instincts told him to ignore it and go to the bedroom, but his curiosity was overpowering. It trumped whatever reasonable part of his mind that was currently functioning and telling him to get out of the living room. Moving slowly with uncertainty in every step he froze, eyes widening upon seeing the red painted kitchen floor. His mouth dropped open a bit and a familiar sense of disgust made his stomach do summersaults making him want to throw up in his aversion to the discovery.

"I'm back." The dark haired man across the room said. "And I haven't heard anything good about you lately, Nate." The way he said his name-his really for real name-made Near shrink back in fear of his anger, which was as obvious to him as his skin color was to everyone else.

"I-I thought…"

"What?" Hissed Beyond, who glared coldly at him. "What the hell did you think?"

"P-please, I haven't done anything wrong. I swear. I've been good."

"Then why is _he_ still alive?" He demanded, letting his tone get higher from anger as he spoke to the younger boy, who was backing away from him as he advanced threateningly towards him. "Why are you so surprised to see me? Why do you look so pathetic right now? Why did you hesitate in letting me out, you little son of a bitch?"

"That was a dream! Mello said it wasn't real!"

"Let's see if this is real." He growled, grabbing hold of the teen's arm keeping a painful grip there. He kept his grip firm as he moved the small boy's body backwards, slamming him into a wall and effectively pinning him there. "Do you feel this? Can you feel my nails digging into your flesh this time? Do you feel your skin slowly tearing and your blood dripping from your new, superficial wound? Is this all just a bad dream, Near?" he then pulled the boy towards him only to slam him back against the wall with enough force to really hurt Near as he collided with the wall. "Is this all fake or can you really feel it? Is it? Tell me!"

"No!" he screamed struggling to get loose. "No, no, no! It's real, it's real, please just stop hurting me! I'm sorry-so sorry-I didn't mean to mess everything up!"

A flat palm met the side of his face sending him to the floor. Pinning him down the elder male kept him firmly pinned to the floor. Another slap came to his face when he didn't stop squirming. He kept deathly still now, knowing better than struggling when in this position beneath Beyond, who was staring at him closely. "What does Beyond want?" he managed to squeak out. "I am scared of his answer, so please don't be so perplexing."

"Look who is making demands now."

"I wasn't-" he started but stopped when a palm met his face again and again, until he fell completely silent and letting his head lay to the side, too scared and confused to move it to face his assailant. "Shut up." Beyond growled. "I have been watching you and know you've betrayed me for that stupid blonde manwhore. I know you've been purposely acting like a worthless little brat so you'll get attention and know that you have been a little too friendly with that redhead as well, heard you had sex with him. You could only imagine how pissed I was when I heard that. That was very, very bad. It makes me wonder what you've been doing with his friend…and with L."

"Nothing." Near sobbed feeling so small and hopeless. "I swear. I'd never betray you, not ever. I hate things here and I hate them. They've been so horrible to me! They have been forcing me to do things, keeping me locked up, lying to me about things, and threatening to beat me if I didn't conform to their ways. What choice did I have? I swear, Beyond, I never betrayed you, not intentionally."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, yes." Near insisted nodding a bit, eyes pleading with B to believe him. "I-I don't like them and they hate me. We never speak much and always fight. It's just a daily routine we go through now, really."

"Hmm, well what about-"

"It was rape. I swear, I swear it was rape!"

"Well then it would seem I had you all wrong."

Shaking in fear because he knew this was to be meant sarcastically Near flinched away whimpering when a warm tongue licked his cool pale cheek. There was no real taste to Near's skin. It was bland, which meant he wasn't sweating from fear or anxiety. And that meant that Near wasn't as apprehensive or as frightened as he should have been at that moment.

That just wouldn't do.

Grabbing hold of his wrists with one hand B effectively pinned them down above the boy's head. He wasn't willing to just let the kid alone after everything he had went through to find him. Salty tears began to slide down his face but those were also licked away, one by one while a hand moved down to the front of his spotless white pants, making him gasp. The feeling of being touched down there brought back memories that made Near shiver and pant as he felt a panic attack approaching. He felt like he was dying, unable to think clearly or breath properly.

Opening his mouth Near let out a loud scream that was almost immediately muffled by Beyond, who covered his mouth with his own. Shaking in fear Near looked up at him wide eyed. He grabbed onto B's shoulders and pulled himself up some so that he was close to B's pallid face. There was a connection Near couldn't ever forget. He and Beyond were linked by the crimson tide of blood they had both shed. It would always be there staining their souls.

_How could Mello ever care about me?_ Near wondered staring into ruby red orbs. _I am just like Beyond. He can lie to himself and me but it will always be true. I will always be a monster. I deserve just the same as Beyond…._ He felt tears as they flooded his eyes, but he blinked them back. _Mello could never really love a monster._

Shakily he drew in a breath as he continued to look into Beyond's scarlet eyes.

_Only a monster can feel anything for another monster._ He wanted to believe this wasn't true but deep down he knew it was. He knew that only Beyond could understand him and how he really felt. It was only Beyond who could ever really feel anything for him. If it were love disguised as hate and disgust then he would gladly accept it because that was perfection next to Mello's hate and disgust that was disguised as love.

Red eyes stared merrily into confused ebony ones that were uncertain about what to do and for a brief moment glanced over to the apartment door. Beyond could already guess what he was thinking about making him give a sadistic smirk. Shaking all over still, Near kissed him back. It was determined and tentative as he got a taste of his past addiction. It was so sinful, yet deliciously addictive that he couldn't resist making it last.

"Oh, you haven't forgotten anything have you, Near?"

"No." He mumbled quietly, looking off to the side in shame. "I haven't forgotten anything." Near then nestled his face into the crook of B's neck affectionately. "I've missed you so much, so very much."

"Let's see how accurate that comment is." Beyond mumbled, moving a hand beneath Near's shirt. "I truly and honestly don't trust you, Near. Especially since you've been with _them_ this whole time."

Breathing shakily Near writhed as he felt a sharp pinch to one of his nipples and gave a small whimpering noise. It was rather painful but he knew better than to vocalize or complain about the pain inflicted on him. A hand kneaded his growing erection, while a warm tongue teased his throat and chest, which was starting to move up and down faster, seeing as he found himself short of breath with each passing second.

Squirming a bit he was reprimanded with a sharp slap. His face reddened harshly from the blow. Near tried his best to keep his noises restrained, finding himself shrugging his white pajama shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor but he felt sick doing so. Biting down on an exposed shoulder Beyond smirked at the sight of blood. He ticked Near's ear with his breath as he whispered to him, taking joy in his many little noises of discomfort and delight.

He could feel the heat from the boy's flushed neck radiating as he thrust his tongue back into Near's small, warm mouth. Near loved every brush and stroke he made. He loved the taste of B that washed over his tongue. He had a sweet, yet refined flavor to him. Somehow, though there was a disgusting feel to the kiss. It didn't seem right. When he had kissed Mello he felt warm and dizzy headed, but when he kissed Beyond he felt nothing but a hollow lust for more pleasurable touches. "Mmph!" Near cried out, voice muffled by a hand as his pants were quickly removed without much care.

"What's the matter, Nate, don't you trust me, or are you afraid of me?" He snickered teasingly while Near gave him a small nod. He had every right to be afraid because of his particular situation. He bit his lower lip hating Mello more than ever. He would be B's tonight and there was nothing anybody could do to stop him from doing whatever he liked. The three were out looking for Beyond on a wild goose chase. The one person who swore to protect him was away, letting him be molested by the very person who caused him more pain than anyone or anything else in his entire life. Clutching the front of B's shirt he whimpered when a hard squeeze was applied to his erect member that was aching for release.

Though he honestly felt more pain during this than more than ever before because he knew it was all really for L. It was him that always had fueled B's actions, made them escalate higher and higher, until finally this happened. Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes as he felt B slid his hands up his torso. Loving the feel of the soft, smooth skin Beyond clawed it leaving bleeding furrows in the once flawless skin. Desecrating the younger boy's smooth torso with scratches, bite marks, bruises, and welts made Beyond smile knowing that this was sure to hurt someone else more than it did the boy beneath him. Sure, there would be psychological pain for him but for the blonde that Beyond knew loved him there would be self-loathing, anger, sadness, envy, fear, and so many other delicious emotions. All mixed in with the agony.

_It would be so much fun to see how much I'll screw up that dumb blonde's mind._ He thought with a smirk. His red eyes lit up with excitement when these thoughts came to him. _Seeing him blame himself and realize how much he's betrayed his precious little Near._ As he thought this he unzipped his pants, seeing the evident fear in the pallid teen's eyes. He lay motionless and stiff, but something seemed to be off about him. Beyond was too absorbed in his thoughts to notice this at first, though._ He may actually kill himself, knowing how extreme his emotions are._ He thought ready to make his thoughts a reality by defiling the albino, who must have seemed so innocent to Mello and so much saner to that arrogant son of a bitch, L.

He was ready to show them they were both wrong.

Beyond looked Near up and down, his wonderful, pallid pink lips parting slightly with his controlled breaths, his slender torso exposed. His face was flushed from Beyond's attention and his missing pajama pants revealed even more lovely things. Chuckling he pressed his lips against Near's again, but suddenly hands were at his chest and shoving, soon he was up and running more scared than ever before.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mello sat feeling more frustrated than ever. "So L has deduced Beyond isn't anywhere around here?" he growled out at Matt, who was typing on his laptop. "Then why the hell are we out here?" He began to massage his temples that were being to ache in signal to a headache.

_More like a migraine._ He thought bitterly. Looking out the car window he sighed. _Damn, what the hell are we even doing? Does anyone know that anymore?_

"L thinks that B might be trying to mess with our heads or something. He thinks that-" he stopped and looked confused at the screen of his laptop like he was trying to solve a difficult puzzle of some sort. "Umm, Mel? L thinks you have a clue as to where Beyond might be. Have any clue as to what he means?"

"What the hell are you two going on about?" He spat a little too defensively. "How the hell should I know where the bastard ran off to?"

"_Do_ you know where he could be?"

"What? And just how would I know that?"

"I dunno how would you?"

"Okay, look Matt, I've had this real bad feeling for a bit now. It's stressing me out and stuff. I think he'd want to make a move against us now before we find him, so it stands to reason that he would go-" his eyes then widened and his mouth dropped open a bit. "Oh, gods no." he breathed upon realizing just what would happen if what he said was true

"What?" Matt asked not understanding his exact logic and dismay. "What's the matter with you? Why are you so upset, Mels?"

"Near," Mello breathed out in silent shock. "If he makes a move like that he'd want to attack us head-on at our HQ or hideout, whatever you wanna call it, and if he does that he'll find Near and…and…he would…" shaking his head, unable to finish the sentence knowing of the awful things that could and would happen to poor Near if Beyond found him. "We've got to get back to that damned apartment, Matt! Now."

"Okay, okay! Let's go! You take the wheel and I'll type to L."

* * *

Screaming Near struggled against B trying to get free. He was pinned down to the bed, screaming and bleeding from the many blows he'd received to his face in Beyond's own attempts to make him shut up. Bruises had blossomed on his body. His eyes stared up at Beyond, wide in fear and pain as memories played back in his head like they were fresh and new.

"I knew you'd let them brainwash you."

"N-no! The only person who brainwashed me was _you_! You never thought about what was best for anyone other than yourself!"

The sound of another hard slap filled the room. "Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you." He threatened. Near growled as a hand went to grab his hair and before he knew it he bit B, who seemed as shocked as he soon was upon realizing just what he had done. "It would seem, Nate, as though you've outgrown your lessons, apparently, and should be reminded why you never bite the hand that spared your life."

"N-no! Please, I'm sorry, B, please don't!"

Beyond wasn't willing to listen. This kid was so pathetic and different than when he had last seen him. He was ruined. A failed project that Beyond felt needed to be dealt with, before he could do him anymore harm. Once that was over all Near needed to do then was be forgotten about. Beyond liked this idea. Not only would he hurt others, L and the two Ms in particular, but he would also be rid of what he now realized was just a troublesome brat. Why keep a failure? There was no reason, so he might as well use him one last time before he ultimately disposed of him. Screams echoed in the room and Near was left curled up on the floor with blood and cum running down his legs.

"Now," B murmured to himself with a smirk after zipping up his pants, "let's find a way of escape in case they come back before I can finish my work." He moved towards the window and sighed seeing it was nailed shut. He let out a deep exhale as he realized he'd been double-crossed long before now. This only added to his already blistering rage. Crossing over the room he grabbed a block, and then moved back to the window where he stood staring out angrily.

"So, Near," he said louder so that Near flinched upon hearing him. "I believe they had tamed you. Otherwise you'd have broken through this window and escaped long ago. What did they do? Did they make you believed they cared? Or was it that damned blonde? Surely you know he only cares about you because he was ordered to. L believed if you thought someone truly cared about you then you'd become a little tamed kitten that would curl up in its master's lap purring so obediently. You're such a joke. Just a pretty little game to be played around with."

"No." he groaned out from where he lay. His sobs had died down and he just lay there, too stunned at what had happened to make much more noise in fear of being hurt again by the person he had once thought truly cared about him in whatever sick, twisted part of his mind that had once made sense of it all. "That's not true. Mel-Mello does care, he-"

"He done as told and nothing more. Why, you know, now that I think about it, wasn't he the one who once liked you? Who let me take you in the woods?"

"N-no…no…no…."

"Yes, yes, _hell_ _yes_, why I believe so. He and that redheaded brat just ran off leaving you behind crying and screaming on the ground struggling to get away. Do you think they suffered any? Between the three of you who do you think had to miss out on their childhood the most? It sure as hell wasn't either of the cowards that ran and left _you_ for dead." He smashed the block into the window, shattering it. He inhaled the air as it began to blow in whipping his hair back some. Turning to look at his victim, a sick smirk played on his face while eerie red eyes blazed in the darkness of the room.

"At least they didn't…didn't stalk me…or groom me…or turn me into a sex toy…or freakin kidnap me for their own twisted reasons!"

"I'd kick you if not for the fact I have to make your mutilation and death swift, no time for fun, you know. I know you got to like killing at one point, before those bastards made you their tame, little pet."

"No…" Near stated weakly, gently laying his head to the floor and letting his soft curls stroke his face, "No…no…no, I don't. I never liked killing, but when a dog is trained I suppose it goes blind, losing all morals. I was lucky to have been saved and taught how to be a real human."

"Real human? Oh, come now, Nate! Don't be so dramatic! You're as real as I am."

"No," he whispered sadly, "you're not human…you're a monster."

"Then you're Monster Jr. aren't you?" he chuckled, and then left the room for what had to be a mere few seconds. When he returned Near was muttering to himself, repeating the same damn thing over and over. He looked so pathetic. It made Beyond sick to his very core seeing such weakness from his former student.

_Time to put the sorry bastard out of his misery._

He thought this with relief. He would finally rid himself of the now useless child. It was about time he done so, especially when he was probably spilling all of the secrets entrusted to him. _He was once useful, _Beyond thought when second thoughts began to ring in his head,_ but they've ruined him._

"No…no…no…." Near breathed out, feeling the knife blade ghost over the soft flesh of his face, not making a sound when his cheek was cut. The sharp blade then moved down his body in an almost mocking manner, stopping to ghost over the flesh of his smooth, pallid belly. "I-I am nothing like you! Mello said…he said…no…no, Mello lied to me." He muttered to himself feeling a fresh surge of tears as they filled his eyes up. "I never wanted to be…not ever…never…never…ever…never…ever…."

The knife sank in easily, a sharp inhale of air was taken in shock at the action. Near turned his gaze to that of Beyond's, no longer looking scared or shocked, but blank with no hope. Smiling at his surrender Beyond sank the knife in deeper watching as his life drained from his small, pallid body that refused to struggle. The blade moved up to his chest and it punctured it with ease. Blood surged into his lungs, slowly drowning him. Near was limp beneath him and dying away, soon to be gone…forever.

"I am as human as you are, you little conceited brat. If you hate that simple fact so much then why not just let go and go to hell already? Nobody wants you here. You're just a burden and besides, who could _ever_ love anyone like you?" Closing his eyes Near could hardly breathe as the blood choked him, "As I've said before, I am as human as you are, Nate. The only difference is that I am stronger and you are weaker." Smiling coldly he watched the smaller, wounded male shudder faintly as he struggled to keep alive.

* * *

_Hurry, hurry, hurry!_ Mello's mind seemed to chant.

He looked to Matt again seeing that he was still typing back and forth with L, until Mello slammed on the breaks throwing Matt forwards. He didn't hear Matt swear at him for that or hear him as he slammed his laptop shut, and then began to struggle with his seat belt. Pausing to notice a block on the curb along with shattered glass Mello felt his heart race faster and faster, as horrid images of torture flashed through his mind.

He raced up stairs to get to the room. He was breathless when he finally reached the right floor. Soon after he caught his breath he began to run again, until he was at the door, which had to be broken down in order for him to get in.

"Near!" He called hoping the younger teen was alright. "Near! Where are you? Near!"

Looking in the kitchen he found the window was open and there was blood all over the place along with an unfamiliar corpse that was hacked up pretty well. Choking out a sound of utter disgust he shook his head and went around checking all the possible places Near could be hiding. He swallowed down his fear when he finally spotted the door to the bedroom Near called his own.

Opening the door his azure eyes widened at the sight set before them. The room was in utter disarray. The lights to the room were destroyed, the light bulb on the floor broken to pieces. Toys lay about smashed or cracked to pieces everywhere.

The bed was overturned and the sheets were tossed around. Some looked like they had just been thrown carelessly but one of the white sheets seemed to be laid gently on the floor stained red. It was such a sharp contrast that it almost hurt. The worst part was when his eyes landed on the quivering form of Near, who was laid out on the previously mentioned sheet like he were to be on display for some special person.

Mello had to step over to the small boy to make sure what he was looking at was really _his_ Near because of how red and unreal the naked body of the quaking figure seemed to be, how afraid he looked realizing someone was coming towards him. Mello soon found himself on his knees unable to comprehend, no, unable to accept it. This had to be a nightmare of some sort. How could the young teen he left just a few hours or so before have turned so quickly into the bloody doll before his eyes?

"Near?" Mello's voice whispered out and was surprised when those cloudy eyes drifted over to him. "Wha-what…Near…."

He didn't have to ask, already knowing it was B's doing. It must have been Near's punishment for whatever the hell Beyond thought poor Near did to him. Pulling the bleeding boy into his lap he looked over his wounds finding three stab wounds total. One was in his stomach, another was in his shoulder, and the last was his thigh. They were still bleeding horribly. At the rate he was losing blood Mello knew he wouldn't live for much longer, maybe an hour or so. Two hours, at the very best. His chances were diminishing with every passing second that flew by on the clock, so Mello knew he had to act fast.

Taking and ripping some of the nearby bed sheet he managed to bandage the wounds, but they still leaked out blood. _At least_, he thought dazedly with a shaky exhale, _that should slow his blood loss for a little bit._ He stroked the red stained hair tenderly trying to be as calm about this as possible, but the truth was that he was more shocked than anything.

"You lied…"

"I-I know an-and I'm s-so sorry, Near."

"You promised…"

"I know, please, just stay here with me a bit longer just until help can come and get you patched up."

"It hurts…"

"Shhh, I know, I know."

"I am scared…"

"Don't be, I promise-"

A hand silenced him when it came up and touched his cheek. He felt sure that if Near were stronger he'd have slapped him or punched him but he was much too weak from the blood loss. This was the best he could do. As the hand slid away he left a trail of maroon smeared across Mello's cheek. "Don't…lie to me…you sentimental…moron…" he breathed out before breaking into a chain of coughs and gasps for air.

Help didn't come around, until half an hour later, only because L had called for an ambulance upon realizing the same thing as Mello. If they had waited longer it would have taken longer. But even then it was just about too late. Near was practically dead. When he was hooked up to machines and tested for broken bones, punctured organs, and others of the like all Mello could do was watch angrily.

That anger finally boiled over when he was found by Matt who needed to tell him something, just a half week later. "Hey," he called gently, "hey, buddy. I-I just got a call from the hospital."

"Yeah?" he muttered in response, though he was still typing frantically on the laptop, which was placed on a coffee table pulled close to him, as he was bent over. He'd been working nonstop to find out where B might be hidden. "And what did they tell you."

"It was L." He said feeling nervous. It had always been said that it was always the messenger that got shot. So, did that mean Mello might just literally shoot him for what he had been told to inform him of? "Near…umm…he woke up today."

Mello looked at him wearily, seeming surprised. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"He's got a severe case of amnesia, apparently due to trauma." He watched as Mello seemed to wilt like a flower in a blizzard. It truly saddened him to see such disappointment in his azure eyes. "I'm so sorry, Mels."

"Is that all? Anything else I should know about?"

"He doesn't remember much." Matt continued eyes looking around trying to avoid Mello's at all costs worried what he might see. "About us, Mello. And what he does is very vague. L talked with him about B and stuff, so we don't have to worry about him being crazy or whatever. He's gonna be placed in a normal hospital room first thing tomorrow. He's in a stable condition. L says when he brings him back here you aren't to act like you know him too well and we're to guard him twenty-four-seven, just in case B tries to come back and hurt him again."

"I want that bastard found, dammit!"

"I know, I know but he's gone into deep hiding. For all we know he's being protected by some pretty powerful criminals."

One cold, death glare had him quiet, save for his sigh. "Mello," he said with a pleading look in his green eyes, "please don't be all revengey now. We wanna catch B as much as you do. And besides, Near isn't dead. He's okay, you know, except for the amnesia but maybe that's not so bad. I mean, at least he won't have to remember being so depressed or mad at you…or being tortured by Beyond. And he'll be safe at Whammy's, even if he'll only be there for like a year or less."

"I don't care about any of that bright side stuff, Matt!" Mello shouted kicking over the coffee table. He moved over to where he was face to face with his friend, fists at his sides. "I want that sorry son of a two-timing bitch dead!"

"Calm down. I was told to keep quiet but L has a lead on where he might be."

"Where?"

"I don't think I should-"

"Tell me dammit!"

"Okay, okay! Sheesh. I heard an FBI informant spotted him just yesterday, heading for a warehouse. It's real easy to spot at the docks. It's old and on the side is called 'The Yellowbox' or something like that."

"I'm there. See ya later. If I don't come back assume I'm dead…or whatever."

"But-"

"Mention to L where I'm heading and you'll find yourself in the hospital, Matty." He said icily. The silence they stood with was so tangible it could've been touched but neither of them seemed to notice. They were busy trying to read the other person, trying to predict the outcome of the other's actions.

Mello knew Matt was loyal to him and would never do anything to purposely betray him but he could also tell that the redhead was uncertain about letting him go off on his own. Matt was also struggling with doubt. He doubted Mello would come back in one piece if he attempted to pursue BB and he also doubted that Mello would be willing to ask for help if he got into any trouble. That worry was added onto his already bothered conscience that was kicking his ass over betraying L's trust with some secret information. In the end, however, Matt gave the blonde a curt nod.

Mello smiled a bit as he turned and left Matt standing where he was, looking grim. The redhead sighed, as the door slammed shut behind his friend. He was truly hoping that he wasn't making a huge mistake by letting Mello go rogue. A short few hours later the blonde was where he needed to be.

Standing outside of the warehouse he felt ready to take B out for good.

* * *

Pacing the room Matt knew he'd screwed up. For one, L would be pissed at the betrayal and for two, Mello was most likely going to turn his mission into a suicide mission, which was very bad considering how valuable he was, but then again Mello would have kicked his ass from one side of the room to the other if he tried to really attempt to stop him and he wasn't a friend to pain. Now, he had to figure out a good excuse for when L got there.

Mello soon found the warehouse and upon entering he found B standing on the opposite side of the warehouse.

"I didn't think you'd ever get here. I take it you're looking for a fight?"

"You're the one who came looking for a fight. Near could have died because of you!"

"Tell me something new." The psycho chuckled darkly. "That's old news, Mihael."

Growling he charged forwards throwing a punch. There was a mad cackle from B who dodged to the side and managed to nick the back of his neck with a knife that he seemed to pull out of no where lightening quick. There was a flash of silver and suddenly Mello found himself falling off to the side with a pained cry and newly formed warmth in his side. Leather clad his hand clutched at his side causing him to hiss in agony whilst scarlet stained his black-gloved hand.

Groaning in pain, yet grateful that the wound was shallow he glowered up at the maniac who cackled evilly a mere half-foot away with his weapon poised and ready to strike once more.

"Is that the best you can do?" Beyond taunted. "I guess little Mihael isn't all that angry with me if he's already down for the count. That means I can get Nate again, doesn't it?"

His red eyes flashed with malicious intent. Enraged Mello climbed cautiously to his feet wanting nothing more than to kill the psychopath. Icy blue eyes were locked on the desired target of Mello's hatred. A devilish smile came over BB's pale face daring Mello to take a chance and attack. There was a silent promise of death hanging in the still air.

The blonde stood his ground. He thought little before giving it a second try with reckless abandon. He charged using long, swift steps that resounded in the silence. A blade gleamed in the dim light waiting to be used just as it had been the first time; however, this time he guessed that Beyond would dodge, so he swung a punch that almost hit its intended target. Beyond kicked out hitting Mello directly in the mouth, splitting his lip and bruising his chin and jaw.

Growling like some feral creature Mello wiped the blood from his lip away. He threw a punch that luckily connected. It was followed by a series of repeated blows that ended when Beyond had enough of letting the blonde take the upper hand in their fight. He took hold of Mello by his wrist and brought him forwards while bending down.

Their foreheads met stunning them both, yet taking more of a toll on the blonde who gritted his teeth as he prepared to lash out again. He wasn't about to lose that fight. Not when there was so much at stake. He staggered forwards, shoving Beyond with as much force as he could muster. BB's knife cut into his cheek as well as his arm making thin trails of blood flow down. Beads of scarlet flew through the air a few moments later when B tucked and rolled, bouncing up from the floor and onto the balls of his feet like some professional acrobatic tumbler.

Weakened and wounded both of the men glared spitefully at the other. It was time to end their fight. Mello and Beyond both charged towards each other, prepared to land the final blow. Mello's fist successfully connected with Beyond's face. Blood leaked from his nose, yet he wore a smile of insanity. His plan worked perfectly. He knew that the fiery blonde would try to hit him and he gave him that hit knowing full well that this would give him a chance to grab hold of Mello's wrist like he did before. Taking that chance he pulled Mello forwards, and then buried his blade in the blonde's stomach.

Grunting, almost crying out from pain Mello felt his other hand grasp B by his black, somewhat stained t-shirt. He kept a strong, firm grip on BB's shirt tighten. Adrenaline numbed the pain after what felt like hours of torment. He jerked the arm B held away and in one fluid motion brought out a gun that he'd concealed from view waiting until he'd gotten close enough to use it, seeing as he only had one bullet to waste.

The cool metal of the gun pressed against B's throat a mere second later. The fight was over and neither would win. That was clear to only one of them. The other was willing to make a last ditch effort to escape death while also claiming victory. Beyond brought the knife up and Mello's finger pulled the gun's trigger.

Thick, sinful red blood spattered the ground.

Mello's azure eyes widened in trepidation when nothing happened to Beyond who should have been choking on a bullet. What had gone wrong? He didn't know in his current state of shock, but he knew that the fight had ended and he had lost.

Laughing, cackling, giggling with maddened glee the dark haired psychopath removed the bloody knife from his victim's stomach, fully prepared to finish him.

"I guess you're just too weak to protect anyone," he taunted cruelly, "including yourself. But don't worry; I'll take care of our dear, little Nate. I'll even take care of your friend, Mail, and L, too."

He lifted the bloodied weapon and pressed it gingerly against Mello's throat like an artist of death, being careful yet precise in what he did as if one wrong move would ruin a grand masterpiece. _Click._ The feeling of cool metal against the side of his neck made him take in a sharp inhale. Blue eyes glaring at him triumphantly, Mello smirked.

"Forgot about the fucking safety, now die you damn hellscum!" He pulled the trigger again. Blood sprayed Mello and stained the ground even more thoroughly than before. There was a sick gurgling noise followed by a heavy thud. Gasping, the blonde swallowed hard and managed to drag himself over to a nearby wall where he lay panting and clutching his stomach in an attempt to keep his innards inside his body. He tried to get his cell from his back pocket. His weary eyes brightened upon finding it was in working condition, somewhat cracked and busted up yet still functioning, as it should.

He dialed a number and waited for a scant minute before hearing a familiar voice answer, "Mels? Is that you?"

"Who else? You think I was gonna lose to this freak?"

"No way, but you did have me pretty scared there for a sec-"

"Shut up." He groaned through clenched teeth as he tried to fight against the waves of pain. "I need you to come help me out. I'm tore open pretty bad. Losing a lot of blood here. I don't think I'm gonna make it at this rate."

"Wha-"

"No questions, just get your ass over here and help me."

"Right."

The call ended and Mello basked in what satisfaction he received from finally killing B off. He was gone. That meant things would be okay. Near would get better and maybe he could become psychologically stable despite everything. There were many maybes and ifs held within all the possibilities, but that just meant that a lot was possible for Near now. That put a grin on his face, distracting him from the fact his body felt chilled, and then he passed out and his breathing turned shallow.

* * *

Groaning groggily Mello awoke in a hospital bed with his wounds stitched and bandaged. Matt came in after an hour or so and gave him a rather warm greeting. After getting pelted by a brief storm of swears the entire story was explained in a way that only Matt could tell it.

"So," he started, "after you called I got really freaked. I traced your call to be sure you were where you were supposed to be, and then like a panicked idiot," he paused and chuckled at the next part of his story, "I ended up forgetting a ton of stuff. You know, needles and thread and other shit like that. I didn't really think on it until I got there, but by then I was supposing you were either getting pissed at me, or dead. Anyway, after I got there I pretty much went running headfirst into the place and then took a few minutes to puke my lunch up an-"

"Wait, you spent valuable time upchucking while I was dying? What the fuck kind of friend are you?"

"The best kind. Anyway, back to the story. I saw you needed some serious surgery. I mean, who wouldn't when their guts and organs are pouring out every which way? Ick. That was gross."

"Don't digress, just stick to the facts and tell me why the hell I'm here."

"Yeah. Sure. Okay, so where was I?"

"Major surgery." Mello sighed, vaguely annoyed. "My insides were out and I needed help."

"Uh, yeah," Matt said with a grin, shaking his head at the idea of him even trying to attempt an operation, "well, let's face it I suck at major surgery. I guess it was wrong of me, but I'll admit that took more than a minute to debate on whether or not I should've called 911."

"Bastard." Mello murmured.

Grinning his red-haired friend continued, "After that I called L who agreed that I did the right thing, so I didn't beat myself up over it. Cops showed up, found Beyond and assumed you were a victim. And the rest isn't really all too important. Just know you killed B and N is safe and sound in England."

"England?"

"Oh, yeah. I wasn't let in on details, but I know that L sent him to Whammy after he was let out of the hospital. Poor kid, he's really mixed up but at least he's not as bad as beforehand when he wanted to kill and maim and act all bitter and stuff."

"So, Near's okay then?"

"Right. He'll probably not remember much of anything for a while, or he might not ever remember much of anything. We'll know in due time if he does. Anyway, Mello, you should rest. You've been comatose for like a year."

"What?" the blonde barked. "Are you serious?"

"Nah." He laughed. "No worries. I'm just havin a bit of fun seeing as you're on bed rest for a pretty long while." He calmed himself before seriously adding, "You've just been out for a few weeks. No big deal."

"You're such a pain in the ass." Mello muttered. He was much too weak to do much more else thanks to the drugs that were set loose and running in his veins. Mello watched his friend as he peered out the window across from where his wounded friend lay. The blonde was giving him an intense death glare that was made icy by his blue hues. He was also silently hoping he'd trip and fall down some stairs on his way out of the hospital.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He heard Matt sigh. Turning back to the blonde, the redhead smiled. "If I were you I'd concentrate more on resting and getting better. You've got an important flight booked that you can't miss. Otherwise I know you'll most likely get pissed and blame me, and then try to beat the crap out of me."

"I'll beat the crap out of you anyway when I'm out of here just for the heck of it." He joked making his friend give a sarcastic laugh. "Now seriously, just what are you talking about?"

* * *

Near sat his books down as he looked around his room. It was like the other rooms in Whammy's orphanage. The walls were white, carpet and curtains blue, and the closet door was made from some sort of oak, painted a light gray. He felt somewhat out of place, but couldn't exactly explain why. Near had only been there for a few weeks yet he felt like it'd been forever. Something told him differently. He didn't know what and didn't try to figure it out. He did fine not knowing. Some things were better left unknown.

Near knew this to be true because whenever he went to sleep nightmares plagued him and research he done suggested that he had a case of amnesia. Nobody told him this but his studies told him this was the truth. He linked the nightmares to something that happened before he came to Whammy's and didn't like trying to find out just what had happened. Whatever it was, it was bad and he didn't want to remember it. He didn't give it much more thought.

Near had other things to do.

Some would call it boring, but piecing a white 500-piece puzzle together was actually challenging and stimulating to the mind. It's actually a lot harder than it looked when Near imagined the pieces together, and then fitted them all into place based on their shapes. It was all cold and logically thought out, but that was how he found he liked doing things when he did things. He finished his puzzle in twenty minutes, having not rushed it but enjoyed putting the pieces together. He started on a rubix cube and was half way finished with it when there was a knock at the door.

"Yo, Near," a dark skinned teen about a year or two younger than Near called to him from just outside his bedroom door, "someone's here to see you."

"Thank you, Robert, I'll get to them in a minute."

"Okay." Robert said giving him a shrug. "Whatever you say, man. They're in the old man's office." He hesitated in leaving. Light brown eyes stared at him questioningly for a minute as he gathered the courage to ask a question.

Robert was a rather shy guy, but he wasn't a pushover. That was something Near figured out his first day there. He just liked attention from the older guys, respected them, saw them as role models. He wasn't bothersome or anything, although Near didn't care much for how lazy he could be at times. Near, himself, wasn't all that active but Robert bested him at laziness by a landslide. And now he was standing there struggling to come out with something that weighed heavy on his mind for a while, yet he was too uneasy to just ask. What if he were given a cold-shoulder? That would hurt.

Sensing his peer's unease looked in his direction with curious eyes.

"Yes?"

Sighing Robert shrugged, and then he spoke up deciding to just put his thought out in the open. "You're still gonna show me how to do that cube thing later, right?"

"I promised, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but lots of the older guys around here are liars. They don't like associating with younger guys like me unless it's in a game they know they'll beat me at. I hate it when they do that."

"I think I know what you mean." Near said. The previous week he attempted to find out if he liked sports. He did not. The older boys creamed him. The results at the end of the games bruised his pride and body. "I, too, hate it when that happens. It isn't right."

"So," Robert sighed, "are we still on for that lesson or what?"

"Yes."

Robert exhaled in relief. Smiling gently he nodded and gave Near a wave even if he wasn't really paying him much attention. "Kay, thanks!" He called as he left the room; satisfied with the answer he received. "See ya around, Near."

Nodding the albino finished his rubix cube, and then gave a sigh as he headed out to go see who was waiting to see him. He'd already met many nice people. The only person who really visited though was some strange man, who went by the alias L. He was okay, but Near didn't care much for his company. Something about him made Near nervous, though the albino really did find him interesting, very intelligent, somewhat pleasant but also rather leery. It made little since, but that was the impression Near received.

He made it to the caretaker's office finally. Opening the door he was a tad surprised to see a guy with blonde hair and black clothing standing next to Watari. Near paused at seeing him. Curiosity and suspicion at seeing the blonde. There was something awfully familiar about him.

"Hello, Near." Whammy greeted. "This is an old friend of yours. He came to visit you."

Serious, though uncertain blue eyes looked at Near who felt somewhat uncomfortable as he tried to figure out just who this was. He was so familiar. It really bothered the white-haired teen. He was so familiar, yet so unfamiliar at the same time. Whammy looked between them before excusing himself from the room claiming that he had a call to make.

"Behave yourself." The elderly man said to the blonde. "You've always been the troublemaker."

"Yeah, well, not today."

Chuckling Whammy assured Near that there was nothing to fear and then he left with a smile. Trusting in the old man the pale teen studied the other male's face for signs of anything that could clue him in as to who he was exactly.

"Near-"

"You know my name." Near mumbled. "You know me."

"Yeah. You don't know, but you and me…we grew up together…here. We grew up together here." He paused for a moment before asking, "Near, do you remember anything?"

"About what?"

"Anything." The blonde said with sadness creeping into his blue hues. He still clung to a thin ray of hope that Near would know him, or at least his name, which could mean he could remember more in the future. "Anything at all."

Thinking for a moment he then stopped. His dark eyes opened taking in the sight of the blonde. His eyes flashing in recognition as he let a friendly smile come over his face. Moving forwards he gave the blonde a hug, and then he stepped back appearing a bit embarrassed.

"Hello, Mello."

A bright smile came over Mello's face and he knew that everything would get better from there on.

* * *

**Well, thnx for reading everyone! And I wanna give special thnx to Psyche-Socks for giving me some ideas. You were real help, thnx! XD**

**And I thank everyone else who read and enjoyed it. Hope you aren't too cross with me for taking so long to post this final chapter. I took my time and hopefully it paid off.**

**Thankx everyone! You're all real great, and again have a great new year!**

**;p**

**:)**

**~With Love, Fairylust~**


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